


hold over my heart | camren au

by jaureguicabello5eva



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: 5h, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Camren - Freeform, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Humor, Multi, fifthharmony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:13:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 71,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaureguicabello5eva/pseuds/jaureguicabello5eva
Summary: Camila is the Director of the Marketing Department of their family-owned business empire, Cabello Core Industries (CCI).Lauren is the newly-hired Advertising Account Manager for CCI.They have a one night stand before Lauren’s first day and after getting over the shock of seeing each other again, they decide to have an agreement that is beneficial to the both of them.What happens when they start to inevitably fall for one another while Camila is dealing with something she’s not ready to confront?





	1. Part One

 

Camila startles awake and sits up hurriedly. Her breathing is labored as she sets a trembling hand down on the sheets to steady herself and closes her heavy lids, bringing her other hand to her temples, rubbing them to ease her head even if just for a moment and feeling the thin layer of sweat that has formed on her skin.

 

The cool breeze that lightly streams through the open window, rustling the sheer-white drapes, reaches Camila and gently slopes down the curve of her exposed back, leaving goose bumps in its trail, reminding the brunette of her undress and where she is. She takes her still unsteady hand and runs it through her messy waves as she takes another calming breath, slowly grounding herself back to reality.

 

She checks to make sure the brunette next to her is still sleeping peacefully before she quietly pulls off the covers, the sheets carelessly slipping in soft ripples against her naked skin until it falls easily on the bed, parts of it hanging off the side and barely grazing the floor. Camila stands from the bed and picks up a t-shirt on the girl’s desk chair, slipping through it as she walks to where her own clothes lay.

 

She fumbles for her lighter, a cigarette, and her phone from her jacket pocket in the dim lighting and quietly slips through the balcony door, relishing in the cool night breeze that immediately greets her skin as she walks to the edge and leans her forearms on the railings.

 

Camila lights the cigarette and puts the end of the stick through her parted mouth, closing her lips onto it as she inhales deeply, keeping the smoke in for a few moments as she closes her eyes once more, savoring the burning in her lungs before taking the cigarette between her slender fingers and tilting her head up, letting the smoke out slowly through her nose and mouth.

 

The brunette opens her eyes and looks up at the night sky as she tries to will the tears that have built up in her eyes. She looks at the expanse of the sky, the stars’ brilliance easily overshadowed by the bright lights of downtown Manhattan, the city as lively at dawn as it is at noon. She takes in her surroundings serenely, registering as much of it through her senses as she can.

 

She absorbs the night chill prickling at her exposed skin, relishing in the way the hairs on her arms rise in protest to the cold. She takes in New York’s skyscrapers, countless brightly-lit windows, hinting at the millions of stories of happy endings alongside human suffering behind glass panes. She drinks in the never-ending flow of traffic through the city’s streets, bright red lights littering the highways despite the time of the day. Her ears pick up distant chatter from the streets below as well as the intermittent horns of impatient drivers, and her nose crinkles at the slight smog that lightly hovers above the city.

 

The brunette digs her bare heels onto the cold concrete floor, appreciating the slight discomfort on her feet. She savors the way the toxins of the cigarette course through her system, streaming through her airways and lodging onto her cells as they permeate her lungs - reminding her that she can feel. Reminding her that she’s alive.

 

That she survived.

 

She takes in the great expanse of the city and the world around her, a constant reminder that she’s but a miniscule aspect of an endless universe, her life a mere speck in a cosmic existence. She lives in world much bigger than her. A space that is infinitely bigger than her demons.

 

Still, she brings her phone up with her hand that’s not holding the cigarette, its ignited end burning through and gathering ashes that are precariously hanging off the end as Camila neglects to take another hit. She never takes more than one drag. Always just one. Just enough to awaken her senses and bring her out of the trappings of her mind.

 

With a shaky hand, her slim fingers browse through her applications, moving to the right file with practiced motion. She comes to a stop at a video file that she’s watched numerous times and takes a shuddering breath as her finger presses the screen to open the file.

 

The video shows a grainy, black and white footage of a deserted intersection. The street light in the center of the camera’s field of view shows the stoplight at red. The only indication that what’s being shown on the screen is a video and not a still image is the slight swaying of a nearby light pole from the wind, signifying movement. After a few seconds, the light turns green and not another second after, a car comes into the camera’s line of view, intending to clear the intersection. The video ends abruptly as the car reaches the intersection, but not before showing another car coming towards the crossing from the street perpendicular to the first car.

 

 Camila exits the video and takes another few seconds to calm her racing heart and her breathing, which have both picked up in the few moments that she had been watching the video.

 

_It was green. The light was green on your end, Camila. You kept going because it turned green before you even reached the intersection._

_It wasn’t your fault._

She repeats the mantra in her head a few times as she unconsciously brings a hand to trace a scar through her shirt on her upper left chest, just a couple inches below her collar bone, before putting out the cigarette and throwing it over the railing. She soundlessly re-enters the room and sees that the girl is still sleeping undisturbed. Camila takes a passing glance to the girl’s bedside alarm and sees bright red lines indicating that it’s almost five in the morning. She vaguely registers that she had slept for almost four hours and knows that’s as much as she’s going to get on a good day so she proceeds to get dressed in her clothes from the night before.

 

She has to be at work in a few hours and doesn’t see a point in coming back to bed. The brunette takes out a pen from her bag and rips out a small piece of paper from her agenda, scribbling a note and leaving it on the girl’s bedside table, before picking up her shoes and silently getting out of the room.

 

_Jade,_

_Last night was fun_

_xo_

_Camila_

 

She pulls out her phone and calls her driver as she drops her shoes by the door and slips into them, opening the front door and heading down the hallway elevator to wait for him in the lobby.

 

*****

 

Camila sits with her legs crossed in the back seat of her car as she looks out the window, taking in the bustling life on the streets. Men with their phones glued to their ears with one hand and holding onto a briefcase with the other as they speed walk through the crowds, expertly weaving their way without missing a step, women in heels plowing through the masses just as well, and the occasional homeless man every few blocks.

 

She tries in vain to focus on her surroundings so her mind won’t wander to recounting the nightmares that have been a constant presence in her life for the past few months. She can’t remember the last time she had a decent amount of sleep. It doesn’t help that the way her body compensates for these mind-numbing nightmares is by keeping her awake, essentially turning her into an insomniac. She doesn’t know which of the two she welcomes more: working through the day in a tired daze from the lack of sleep, or waking up in a cold sweat from the nightmares, or more like, memories of the night that continues to plague her mind.

 

She spends most nights either getting less than three hours of restless sleep or finding comfort in the arms of a stranger – up until the moment she gets woken up from a nightmare, of course. She finds it easier to go to sleep after she’s distracted herself enough with the throes of passion, only to wake up to a harsh reality of feeling just as emotionally wounded.

 

After sitting through New York’s daily traffic for another half hour, Camila’s car comes to a stop in front of an all glass, imposing building, one of the city’s towering skyscrapers standing tall with _Cabello Core Industries_ adorning its front. She waits a few moments as her driver, an older man with greying hair, crow’s feet surrounding the corner of his eyes, and deep lines on his weather-worn face, comes around the car and opens the door on her side. His smile is sincere and his eyes kind as he holds the door open for Camila.

 

“Thank you, Alfred,” Camila says as she steps out of the car in her slim, navy-blue pant suit, adjusting her clothes as she shoulders her bag. “I’ll see you later,” she smiles at him.

 

“My pleasure, Ms. Cabello,” he nods as he closes the door and watches the brunette enter her building.

 

Camila’s heels sound through the lobby as she walks through it with an imposing air about her, easily turning heads and gaining a few “Good morning, Ms. Cabello” greetings as the employees hurry to their proper assignments.

 

She takes the elevator to her floor and briefly says “hi” to her secretary before entering her office and finally relaxing her tense muscles as she sits on her chair. She swivels her chair around to look out into the city once more through her floor-to-ceiling window in the back of her office before diving into her work day.

 

Camila is the Director of the Marketing Department of the worldwide technology company, Cabello Core Industries. Despite her familial ties to the company, she had been insistent on working up the corporate ladder and has managed to move up to director at the age of twenty-six, steadily working her way to the senior positions and vice-presidency, hopefully ending at the presidency itself, with her father remaining as the company CEO.

 

Right now, she’s focused on managing the major marketing campaigns of their company. Despite her lack of proper rest, she’s been able to handle her job effectively and efficiently, gaining the approval and attention of other major business players in the field. She has always been a workaholic since she started working for their company straight from college but has become even more so since the accident. It was the only way she could cope with the distress of the accident that incessantly weighed on her mind and her entire being.

 

Sometimes, she’d work to an extent until her body has no choice but to succumb to sleep and if she’s lucky enough, she’ll be too drained to dream.

 

Her workaholic quality tends to work in her favor, especially when it comes to pleasing her parents. She had been your typical, rebellious teenager who brought too much trouble and disappointment to the squeaky clean reputation of her parents, who held pretty prominent positions in the business world and certainly didn’t need to be bailing out their apparent heir from jail every chance they get.

 

Even though she had considerably cleaned up her act throughout college, it hurt more than she could explain when her own parents’ first thought about the accident was to question her sobriety. She hadn’t had a drop of alcohol that night and she thought she’d done well in showing how much she’d changed and it broke her heart to see the doubt swimming in her parents’ eyes, the pain lingering in her chest even after they eventually asked for forgiveness when evidence cleared her of any fault.

 

So, she works hard because it’s all she has. Camila knows her parents love and care for her enough. She sees it in the rare moments that they get to spend time as a family when they aren’t being occupied with running a multi-billion dollar company. As distant as they may seem, she knows she’s lucky to have a family at all. She recognizes that more than ever before since the accident.

 

Camila is brought out of her work when her office door opens unceremoniously and in walks a boisterous Dinah.

 

“Hey, Chanch,” the tall, blonde woman greets as she plops on one of the two seats in front of Camila’s main desk. Seconds later, a smaller brunette with blonde highlights walks in carrying a bag of take-out food.

 

“Hey, Mila,” Ally, the other brunette greets, sitting down on the other seat in front of Camila and starting to unpack the food while trying to fend off Dinah’s hands from the bag.

 

“Hey guys,” Camila greets them with a genuine smile. She saves her progress report and turns off the monitor on her computer screen to give her undivided attention to her friends. Through all her struggles, her two best friends have been a constant source of support for her and they’ve made sure to take care of her when she’s been neglecting to take care of herself.

 

They’ve had to impose a mandatory lunch time on Camila, otherwise, she’d probably miss at least three meals throughout the week. As much as they can get on her nerves, however, Camila is eternally grateful for them. They’re able to give her the emotional support she needs without pressuring her to necessarily talk to them. So in turn, she makes sure to spend her lunch actually paying attention to them and taking a break from her never-ending work. Every once in a while, she’ll indulge in their insistence to go out and have fun as well.

 

Ally and Dinah’s families run in the same elite circle as the Cabello’s since their own parents are senior board members of CCI. The three of them have been friends since they all learned to ride horses and first trained for fencing competitions when they were only ten years old. They’ve caused troubles as teenagers and attended the same banquets and galas whenever they needed to play the perfect children of their business magnate parents, as well as covered for one another throughout the years.

 

Ally serves as the Director of their Administrative Offices while Dinah presides as Director of their Finance Department.

 

“So, how was the conference dinner you attended last night?” Dinah questions around a mouthful of food, Ally sending her a disapproving look and a shake of her head. The blonde girl moves one hand to cover up her mouth while chewing and swallows before asking again, “Sorry,” she sends an apologetic look towards the small brunette and redirects her attention back to Camila. “Anyway, how was it?” she asks again.

 

Camila smiles at her friends’ antics and replies with a shrug as she opens up her own food container, rejoicing internally when she sees it’s her favorite dish, Pad Thai. “It was good,” she says noncommittally as she tries to gather some noodles on her fork. “I mean as good as conference dinners go, you know how it is,” she says, bringing a forkful of noodles into her mouth. After chewing for a bit, she elaborates, “Same old thing: rich, old men trying to close deals with their new mistresses for the month hanging off of their arms.”

 

“Ah, but I only care about you, Chanch,” Dinah says with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “So how many did you get?” she waggles her eyebrows suggestively at the brunette while Ally just rolls her eyes.

 

“Just one, DJ,” Camila laughs lightly. “It’s always just one.”

 

“Boo,” the blonde Polynesian says jokingly, “You’re so vanilla.”

 

“DJ!” Ally whisper-yells, scandalized.

 

“Honey,” the smaller Latina says, turning her head to face Camila with a maternal look she seems to have mastered despite not having any children of her own. “Now, we know we said we would support you in your many, fleeting sexual endeavors,” at which Dinah snorts, “that may or may not stem from deeper unresolved psychological and emotional issues…”

 

Dinah now has a hand on her mouth, trying to keep her laughter in, “…but we do worry if you’re just using these men and women to graze over real issues, not to mention the ever-present danger of contracting STIs,” Dinah has given up on controlling herself and has progressed to full on laughing at the brunette’s words while Camila just listens on, amused at her friends.

 

“And we certainly, shouldn’t be overly encouraging it,” Ally finishes with a glare towards Dinah, who has the decency to look sheepish from her uncontrolled laughter.

 

“Ally,” Camila says calmly while reaching out a hand to cover one of Ally’s hands over the table. “I really do appreciate your concern,” the smaller brunette smiles in response. “But that is exactly what I’m doing. Trying to forget my problems through these ‘fleeting sexual endeavors,’ because that’s all I can face right now,” she says half-jokingly.

 

Camila has always loved how her friends know just what to say to get their concerns across without moving into too-heavy territory.

 

“But seriously, Walz,” Dinah says in a more serious tone, finally regaining her composure, “You know we’re here for you whenever, right?” At Camila’s grateful nod, she continues. “Whenever it gets really bad and you get too stuck in that pretty little head of yours, just hit me up and I’ll hook you up with a new hottie real quick,” she winks.

 

Ally gives up and just chuckles at the other girl’s words. “Ditto,” she tells Camila meaningfully and Camila has never been more grateful to be blessed with such understanding best friends.

 

“I know guys, trust me,” she replies earnestly. “I know.”

 

“Anyway,” Dinah says as she wipes her mouth with a napkin. “We need to do something to celebrate my newly-single self,” she beams as she uses her hands to showcase herself as if she were a prize to be had on a game show.

 

“I don’t think that’s something people celebrate?” Ally asks unsurely.

 

“Whatever,” Dinah huffs. “Getting over, moving on, celebrating, tomato to-mah-to. I don’t care about technicalities,” she continues while Camila just listens. “Point is, we need to go out tonight and do something or I’ll end up sulking in my place and I sure as hell don’t wanna do that,” she finishes resolutely while crossing her arms across her chest for emphasis.

 

“I’m in,” Camila shrugs easily, looking between a grinning Dinah and a hesitant Ally.

 

“I don’t know guys…” Ally trails off.

 

“Oh come on, shorty,” Dinah says clapping her hands. “I promise this has nothing to do with enabling Camila’s noncommittal sexual exploits,” she says with a not-so-subtle wink directed at Camila, which the brunette just lightly laughs at. “This is all about me,” she says proudly.

 

As it seems to always happen with the three of them, Ally’s voice of reason is outnumbered so she ends up agreeing “Fine,” she huffs. “But no one’s driving,” she says pointedly.

 

“Oh that’s fine. My boy Alfred’s got us, right, Chanch?” Dinah asks Camila.

 

“Yeah, I’ll ask him. He’ll be okay with it. He usually prefers that it’s him that drives me when I go out anyway, so” Camila responds easily.

 

“Great!” Dinah claps her hands excitedly. “We’re gonna fuck shit up tonight!” she exclaims while her other two friends just laugh, knowing that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

 

*****

 

“Ugh, I did not go through four years of pre-law, three years of law school, and another three years doing a clerkship with one of the biggest judges in all of New York to be lugging around heavy-ass boxes, Lauren Michelle!” an ebony skinned woman with long, puffy, naturally curly hair huffs as she sets down another box of books in the middle of an already scattered living room.

 

“Thanks, Mani” Lauren smiles while batting her eyelashes and clasping her hands together. “I really do appreciate the help.”

 

“Oh what the hell,” Normani smiles resignedly at her best friend. “I’m just glad you’re moving here!” she says happily as she engulfs the raven-haired girl in her arms. “We’re gonna have so much fun,” she squeals as she pulls back and holds onto Lauren’s shoulders in excitement.

 

“Counting on it,” Lauren winks at her as they proceed to unpack Lauren’s boxes.

 

Lauren Jauregui has just landed a major position in one of the most prominent technology companies in the world, at their main headquarters no less. She’s been working in advertising straight out of college and is fortunate to be hired by the Cabello Core Industries as an Advertising Account Manager for their Marketing Department.

 

The well-paying job, however, is only a bonus to Lauren as part of moving to New York. She knew she was willing to wait tables if she had to just so she can stay in the city. This city is what’s going to help her mom in the best way possible and since it’s just been Lauren and her mom for as long as she can remember, she’s willing to do just about anything for her.

 

“Daaaamn, Laur,” a heavily tattooed man with perfectly-styled hair and deep brown eyes whistles as he walks through the door, carrying another box. “This place is nice!” he says as he rakes his eyes over the place. The apartment has a spacious open floor plan with floor-to-ceiling windows lining the dining area on one side and the kitchen on another. The living room boasts a wide electric fireplace that spans a good portion of the wall that divides the rest of the place from the master’s bedroom. “We gotta break this place in” he says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

 

Normani, Zayn, and Lauren formed quite the bond while attending Miami University together. They looked out for one another and caused mayhem as a trio. They were separated for a few years after graduation when Normani and Zayn moved to New York while Lauren stayed in Miami. Normani attended Columbia Law and decided to stay in the city after securing a clerkship with a prominent judge in Manhattan right after law school while Zayn moved to New York to be groomed as the heir of their own technology company, Malik Enterprises, in their main headquarters, which is situated in the heart of Manhattan.

 

Zayn had easily offered Lauren a position in his family’s company if she needed it, but the dark-haired girl was insistent on finding a job on her own. Although Zayn maintained that it wasn’t a big deal, Lauren didn’t want to ask for too many favors. She’d always been the independent i-can-do-everything-on-my-own type of girl and is more than willing to face her problems head-on without depending on others. She figures the self-reliance comes easy when you get abandoned by your father and have to go through life’s struggles with a single parent.

 

She’s thankful in a way that her mom had taught her everything she needed to know and provided her with enough love for two parents. She learned to not need anyone else.

 

“I’m not having a party in this place anytime soon, Zayn,” the green-eyed girl replies, clicking her tongue and shaking her head. “I have lots of things to worry about first.”

 

“Boringgg,” Normani adds on to the conversation. “Well, if you don’t wanna host a party, we should at least go out tonight,” she says excitedly. “Let me introduce you to the wonders of the nightlife of New York city,” she says with a wide smile.

 

Lauren looks from a grinning Normani to an equally excited Zayn, who adds on with a _Come on, Lo! Let loose for once!_ and she knows she doesn’t stand a chance against this duo.

 

“Fine,” she says, playfully huffing at her best friends.

 

“YES!” the duo exclaims at the same time.

 

*****

 

When Lauren, Normani, and Zayn enter the club at around nine, the club is already packed and alive. Normani and Lauren find a booth near the back while Zayn grabs a few drinks for them. Lauren looks around and notes that her friends took her to one of Manhattan’s classier clubs, showing off an expansive bar that lines the whole length of one side of the place, a wide dance floor that is well-lit by flashing strobe lights, and a second floor that houses the VIP guests and surrounds the perimeter of the club, overlooking the dance floor.

 

“This place is nice,” Lauren tells Normani, having to lean over next to her ear so the girl can hear her.

 

“Yeah!” Normani yells above the music. “Zayn and I come here all the time. There’s like a plethora of mighty good looking people here so…” she trails off suggestively while poking Lauren on the side as she teases the girl. “If you’re ever looking for a stress reliever, you know where to go.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Lauren says rolling her eyes. “I don’t think a single drink is going to be enough to keep up with you guys tonight.”

 

“Did somebody say drinks?” Zayn says as he approaches their table, in his hands is a tray of a variety of drinks, a few glasses of beers, some shots, and a whole bottle of vodka.

 

Lauren immediately goes for a glass of beer, not intending to drink any more than that as she insisted on being the designated driver because it _is_ her first day of work tomorrow and she’s not trying to make a first impression with a hangover. Her friends, however, immediately take two shots each. The green-eyed girl just fondly shakes her head at the two.

 

\---

 

Camila is sitting at the bar, sipping on a tequila sunrise, only her second drink for the night as she surveys the club for a potential distraction that’ll help her get more than two hours of sleep for the night. Her friends have long since abandoned her and she can’t say she’s too disappointed as she’d really rather not introduce her distraction for the night to her friends and cause any complications.

 

Ally had to leave early to tend to her husband, who’s been really sick throughout the day so Camila had sent Alfred to take her home first before asking him to return to get Camila. Dinah had gone home with the first tall, dark, and handsome man that had shown great interest in her with every intention of getting over her ex by getting under him.

 

Lauren, on the other side of the club, is in a similar situation. After a couple hours of catching up with her friends and enjoying the dance floor together, Normani had easily found her own fun for the night and had gone home with them, while Zayn had done the same, carelessly leaving the keys to his Aventador to the raven-haired girl.

 

Camila looks around and her eyes catch on a dark-haired girl in a tiny, black dress that hugs her curves deliciously, sipping on an almost empty glass of beer as she looks around aimlessly, and the brunette thinks she’s found the one for the night. She downs the rest of her drink and runs her hand through her wavy, brown locks as she stands up and approaches the girl, making sure to sway her hips in case the girl looks up.

 

“Hmm, that dress looks absolutely _breathtaking_ on you,” Camila leans down and husks in the girl’s ear as she approaches her from behind.

 

Lauren rolls her eyes in response, “But let me guess,” she says as she starts to turn around. “It’ll look better on your bedroom floo-” her words die in her throat when she turns her head and she’s met with playful deep, brown eyes and full, plump lips curled into a teasing smirk. The brunette sits next to Lauren and rests her head on her hand as she props it on the table, making a show to eye the girl’s body as she arches her eyebrow.

 

“You were saying?” she says with a smirk.

 

Lauren regains her composure and decides to play along. “Does that line usually work for you?” she asks the girl, maintaining eye contact.

 

Camila licks her lips languidly and doesn’t miss the way the dark-haired girl’s eyes follow the movement before she answers, “As a matter of fact, it works more than just usually, more like a hundred percent of the time” she says, pretending to think about it. She shrugs when she adds on, “I mean, it’s fairly accurate. Beautiful dresses on even more beautiful girls have a high chance of ending up on my bedroom floor, if we even make it to my room that is,” she winks and she expects the girl to fall for her sultry words but not the laugh that comes out of her.

 

“Ah, I can see how that whole thing,” Lauren says amidst her laughter as she vaguely gestures to Camila, “can charm some girls out of their pants.”

 

Camila doesn’t find herself being offended by the girl’s subtle rejection and finds herself endeared instead by the raspy laugh that falls out of her full lips, noting how her green eyes almost hide behind the crinkles that form on her face as the girl’s cheeks bunch up when she gives her a wide smile.

 

She smiles at the girl when she replies, “ _Some_ girls? So not you, then?” she says in a mock-hurt voice.

 

“Hm, not sure about it yet,” Lauren shrugs. She raises an eyebrow at Camila’s expression. “What, you’ve never been rejected before or something?” she inquires curiously.

 

“Not since I can remember,” Camila responds easily.

 

Lauren laughs her infectious laugh again and it tugs at Camila’s walls how the girl is able to easily hold her own against Camila, failing to fall at her feet like most of the men and women she tries to seduce. “Always a first time for everything…” Lauren trails off, hoping to get the girl’s name.

 

“Camila,” the brunette answers, holding out her hand. “You’re gonna wanna remember that later” she says in a playful tone.

 

Lauren just smiles and takes her hand as she replies, “Lauren. I like you, Camila.” They hold each other’s hands and gazes for a few seconds before the brown-eyed girl breaks the silence.

 

“Like me enough to come home with me?” she continues to tease and Lauren shakes her head, trying not too smile too hard.

 

“Relentless, are we?”

 

“Hm-mhm,” Camila nods with a goofy smile, her sultry approach making way to reveal a persona that’s truer to herself.

 

For the next half hour or so, Lauren and Camila continue a flirty banter, basking in each other’s company. It’s been a while since the both of them had found such easy company in the presence of an essential stranger. They find that they share the same sense of humor and bond over similar roots in Miami and their Cuban heritage. Lauren learns that Camila works for their family business while she informs the brunette that she herself, works in sales.

 

They don’t get too much into details about their personal lives, opting to keep the topics light and flirty, tugging at each other’s boundaries steadily throughout the night as they relax more and more with every flirty smile sent their way and every light graze of their arms.

 

“So, are we still trying to delay the inevitable?” Camila asks as she looks into Lauren’s piercing eyes, trying not to get lost in the green of it all.

 

“Hm, and what is that exactly?” Lauren responds with a raised eyebrow.

 

“You in my bed,” Camila answers back without missing a beat.

 

“Ah, and what if I don’t want to come home with you?” Lauren says with a smirk.

 

“Okay then, me in _your_ bed. Wherever the inevitable happens is actually irrelevant.”

 

Lauren laughs as she replies, “I’m still not sure what the inevitable actually is.”

 

“My head in between your legs, of course” Camila says in a resolute tone and Lauren’s breath hitches in the back of her throat. Camila sees her opportunity and leans in towards the dark-haired girl, resting a hand on the girl’s thigh delicately as she husks in her ear. “So, your place or mine?” she finishes with a light nip on Lauren’s earlobe, eliciting a gasp from the green-eyed girl.

 

To her surprise, Lauren gets up abruptly and tries to shake her head in an attempt to regain her bearings. “Um,” she clears her throat before she continues. “It was really nice meeting you, Camila. But I really – um – have to go, so yeah. Bye,” she rushes out as she gathers her stuff and heads out of the club.

 

The cold air helps Lauren sober up. She hadn’t had more than a glass of beer, which she’s long finished in the earlier part of the night, but she feels almost drunk off of Camila. She figures a one-night stand is probably not in her best interest the night before her first day despite how much she wants to drag Camila out of the club and take her to her place.

 

Camila sits back on her seat, a little stunned, but mostly just amused. She’d never really been rejected outright and she doesn’t feel as disappointed as she’d thought. “Huh,” she thinks to herself. She looks at the direction where the raven-haired girl disappeared to and just smiles.

 

After a few moments, she gathers her own things and heads out the door. She’s about to approach her car where Alfred is patiently waiting outside when she catches sight of familiar dark locks on her peripheral vision. She leans over to try to take a closer look and sure enough, it’s Lauren talking to – a police officer?

 

Next to them is a black Aventador, whose lights are blinking rapidly, obviously hinting that its alarm had been set off, drawing the attention of people walking nearby. Camila raises her eyebrow at the scene and comes in closer to hear their conversation.

 

“…come on, officer. I already passed the Breathalyzer. I clearly don’t have enough alcohol in my system to be even close to the limit,” the dark-haired girl says in exasperation as she raises both arms in the air.

 

“Well, it still doesn’t explain the attempted break-in, ma’am,” the officer, whose hands are at his belt loops, says sternly.

 

“Oh my god!” Lauren says tilting her head back in frustration. “I – just – I’m not used to working this crazy car, I mean look, I have the key,” she says holding out the key to Zayn’s car, which is almost as big as a small flip phone. “Like, why can’t it just be a normal key?” she whines as she waves the thing around.

 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you set off the alarm to a car that’s not registered to you, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you in for further questioning until we sort this out,” the officer insists.

 

“Okay, how about this,” she tries to say while taking out her phone. “I’ll call my friend and he can corroborate my story and he can probably answer any questions you might have,” she explains already dialing Zayn’s number and tapping her feet as she listens to it ring a few times.

 

“Ugh! Are you kidding? Zayn, I swear to god, pick up your damn phone,” she mutters under her breath, throwing the officer an apologetic look as he stands up with his arms crossed.

 

“Okay,” Lauren says calmly. “He’s not picking up, but maybe…” she says in a sultry tone as she puts her phone away and lightly trails her hand down the officer’s arm, who just raises an eyebrow at her. “Maybe we can talk about this, officer – Cole,” she says after reading the name on his uniform. “Is there really nothing I can do for you to just let this slide?” she continues, looking at the man in his eyes with a smoldering gaze, biting her lip for emphasis.

 

“Ma’am, bribing an officer is a federal offense,” the man deadpans.

 

“Oh come on!” Lauren cries in frustration as she draws her hand back.

 

“Now, I don’t want to have to force you, so if you could just calmly reach out your hands please,” the officer asks while taking his cuffs out.

 

“I can’t believe this happening to me,” Lauren says to herself as the officer cuffs her hands together and gently guides her into the car.

 

Camila watches the scene in amusement and shakes her head before she walks back to her car and enters it after Alfred opens the door for her.

 

*****

 

Lauren’s hands are curled around the bars of the holding cell as she leans her forehead on the cold metal. She was unable to convince the police through questioning that she hadn’t illegally acquired the car as she failed to contact Zayn when she tried to call him again. She’d texted Normani and hoped for the best. She internally smiles at the fact that the police had taken Zayn’s car to an impound lot and at least he’ll have to deal with that mess when he finally sees Lauren’s messages. It’s what he deserves for leaving her with a devil of a car that refuses to cooperate and has now landed her in jail the night before she starts at her job.

 

“Um, excuse me sir!” Lauren yells through the bars as she tries to get someone’s attention in the apparently very busy precinct where she was taken. “I start on a new job tomorrow so it’d really be ideal if I don’t have to explain to my new boss that I couldn’t go because I was in jail for NOT STEALING A CAR!”

 

When not a single officer bats an eye and they all resume to whatever task is at hand, Lauren huffs and crosses her arms, tapping her foot petulantly. “When do I get that phone call? I know I get a phone call, I watch SVU a lot and my friend is a high profile lawyer!” she continues to try to get someone’s attention.

 

She perks up when she sees a burly officer trudging towards her cell as he reads from a paper in front of him, “Jagooey?” he says looking up at Lauren, who just rolls her eyes.

 

“Did you even try?” she asks. “It’s **HOW** -re-gui,” she says with a Cuban accent.

 

“Yeah yeah,” he says unlocking the cell. “You’re good for the night. Your friend bailed you out.”

 

“Bless!” Lauren says as she looks up and thanks the heavens above, walking out of the cell with a triumphant look thrown at the disinterested officer.

 

“Oh my god, Normani I can kiss you right n-,” Lauren stops in her tracks when she sees a familiar smirking brunette with her arms crossed as she leans on the armrest on one of the chairs in the waiting room.

 

“Hm, I’ll take that kiss,” she says with a wide smile as she approaches the dark-haired girl in a confident strut. Lauren opens her mouth but nothing comes out so she closes it again and tries to regain some sense of composure. Camila raises her eyebrow and tilts her head, “Are you gonna gawk at me all night? Because I can think of a better use of your mouth,” she says in a whisper as she leans in to husk in the other girl’s ear.

 

The comment shakes Lauren out of her reverie and she shifts on her feet uncomfortably before clearing her throat and manages to stutter out, “Um – yeah –I – thank you. But – just, how?”

 

Camila laughs lightheartedly and grabs one of Lauren’s hands to bring her right outside of the precinct where they can talk without other people staring at them. Lauren just follows her, still too stunned to really do anything else.

 

“I saw you getting arrested as I was leaving the club,” Camila explains as she runs a hand through her hair that’s flowing wildly in the night breeze. “I mean, when you said you were in sales, I didn’t think you were in the business of car theft,” she teases.

 

Lauren just pouts and crosses her arms as she tries to explain, “Aventadors are really hard to figure out, okay?” Camila raises an impressed eyebrow at the mention of the car and Lauren quickly clarifies. “My friend left me with his stupid car when he went home with some girl and the police took the stupid thing to the impound lot. Serves him right,” she mutters the last part.

 

“Ah, so how exactly are you getting home, then?” Camila asks with a glint her eyes.

 

“Um,” Lauren scrunches her eyebrows in confusion, as if she hadn’t thought about that minor detail until now. “Uh, I’m not really – I guess, the subway?” she says unsurely.

 

“In that dress? At this time of the night? Are you new to New York or something?” Camila asks teasingly.

 

“Actually, yeah” Lauren says sheepishly and Camila chuckles at the girl.

 

“Okay then,” she says as she grabs Lauren’s hand again and leads her to a parked black Audi A7. “There’s no way I’m letting you take the subway. I can take you home,” she says with a finality to her tone as she gestures to the now open car door being held by an older man. “Get in.”

 

Lauren rubs the back of her neck when she says nervously, “Um, look Camila. I really _really_ appreciate what you did for me back there, but I’m not – I mean, I’m sure you’re a nice girl and everything -,”

 

“I meant to your place,” Camila says with roll of her eyes. “Let me – I mean my driver, drive you home,” she says seriously. “Please. It’s late and it’s really dangerous to be alone at this time, I promise, I won’t bite,” she says while raising her hands up as if to surrender. “Unless you ask me to, of course,” she can’t help but add.

 

Lauren looks at the friendly smile the older man is giving her from behind Camila and nods her head, “Okay, thank you,” she says sincerely, meeting Camila’s eyes with a grateful smile as she gets in the car and Camila takes the opportunity to rake her eyes over the girl’s bum. She gets in right after the green-eyed girl and looks at her expectantly. “Oh right!” Lauren says with a nervous chuckle. She doesn’t know why she’s suddenly so nervous but the enclosed space with the irresistible brunette sitting so close to her is messing with her inhibitions. “Um just continue on this main road and I’ll let you know along the way,” she addresses the driver in the front.

 

The ride to Lauren’s apartment is filled with silence as both girls look out their respective windows. There’s an unmistakable tension cackling in the air as they both replay the events of the night, specifically thinking back to their playful flirting in the club.

 

When the car comes to a stop in front of Lauren’s building, the dark-haired girl has a sudden overwhelming need to prolong Camila’s company and before she can think much of it, the words are out of her mouth. “Um, would you like to go up?” she asks, meeting Camila’s surprised gaze. Lauren registers out of the side of her eye that even the driver raises his eyebrow as he watches them on the rearview mirror. “I mean, for coffee, or something. Just my way of saying thank you, I guess” she explains unsurely, looking down at her lap with a blush

 

Camila smiles at the girl and replies easily, “Sure.”

 

Lauren looks up as if she wasn’t expecting Camila to say yes, which doesn’t really make sense considering she’s been trying to get in Lauren’s pants all night and now she had just invited the girl into her apartment in the middle of the night.

 

“Okay, let’s go,” she says as she opens the door and waits as Camila leans forward to say something to her driver before she grabs her bag and follows Lauren out of the car and into her building.

 

Lauren feels like she’s physically suffocating from the tension in the presence of the brunette in the elevator and when the doors finally open to her floor, she hurries out and doesn’t even wait to see if the brunette is following. She opens her door with shaky hands and finally manages to get inside after a few attempts, with Camila trailing her and smiling at the flustered girl.

 

They enter the apartment and Lauren turns on the lights in the main room, watching as Camila looks around the place, still filled with mostly unpacked boxes. The dark-haired girl removes her jacket, as well as Camila’s, and hangs them in a closet near her front door as she watches Camila slowly walking around, trailing her hands along the mantle of the fireplace as she looks at the paintings haphazardly propped on top of it. She feels herself gain her confidence back as she keeps her eyes on Camila, whose attention is still fixed on the different pieces of artwork cluttering Lauren’s place.

 

“Wow,” the brunette breathes out and the rasp in her voice pulls Lauren in. She doesn’t realize when she started walking towards the brunette but at her next words, the green-eyed girl finds herself right behind the smaller girl. “This is so…” she trails off as she runs her slender fingers along a particular framed drawing. “…sexy,” she husks.

 

It’s a charcoal sketch of a woman whose back is turned and whose long, wavy locks are flowing in gentle waves along her exposed back. The woman is completely naked from the back but is clutching what looks like sheets against her chest. Camila marvels at the exquisite detail littering the sketch as she traces her finger down the woman’s curved back, taking in how the right amount of shading highlights the contours of her toned back muscles and appreciating the curves that have been carefully outlined in the drawing.

 

Camila’s eyes catch on a small signature on the bottom right corner. “You sketched this?” she asks in awe, voice dripping with sex.

 

“Yeah,” Lauren husks from behind as she places her hands on Camila’s hips, squeezing it when she turns her head to whisper right into Camila’s ear, sending a shiver down the girl’s spine. “I thought it went well with the quote.”

 

Camila tries to steady her breathing as she reads the quote inscribed near the bottom left of the drawing that she hadn’t noticed earlier. “I love Rupi,” Camila breathes out when she recognizes the words.

 

“Why don’t you read it out loud for me, baby?” Lauren murmurs against the skin of the brunette’s neck as she brings her hands around the girl’s waist and pulls her closer, molding their bodies together, both girls relishing in the obvious heat emanating from their bodies.

 

Camila takes a deep breath as she tries to compose herself enough to read the words out loud.

 

“Baby lick me, like your mouth has the gift of reading and I’m your favorite book…” she gasps when she feels Lauren’s hot tongue glide along her neck. “…Find your favorite page in the soft spot between my legs and read it carefully…” she whimpers when she feels Lauren’s hands move to the hem of her dress, running her fingers on the inside of her thigh, moving near her center but not close enough. “…This is how we pull language out of one another with the flick of our tongues,” she finishes as she closes her eyes when Lauren runs her other hand up her abdomen, lightly grazing the underside of her boobs.

 

“Well, if we must,” Lauren says as she spins Camila around to face her and crashes their lips together in a fiery, passionate kiss. Lauren brings one hand around Camila’s back and uses the other to grip the girl’s thigh, bringing it up to wrap around her, causing Camila to grab at her shoulders as the raven-haired girl hikes the smaller girl up, pushing the girl’s body roughly against the wall as the brunette wraps her legs around her waist.

 

Camila gasps when Lauren enters her mouth with her slick tongue, exploring the warmth of it relentlessly. They delve into each other in a messy battle of lips, tongue, and teeth, swallowing each other’s gasps and suppressed moans. The brunette pulls Lauren even closer with the back of her neck, using her other hand to fist the girl’s hair, tightening her grip when she feels the girl suck hard on her bottom lip, releasing it with a pop and diving into her neck immediately.

 

Camila slams her head back against the wall, panting harshly when she feels Lauren nip at her neck, soothing the sore spot with a broad lick of her tongue and continuing to lick and nip down her throat and collar bone. She feels Lauren pull her head back as she works on bringing down the straps of her dress until she can finally pull the dress down her torso, freeing her perky breasts and exposing them for Lauren to devour.

 

Lauren’s green eyes darken as she eyes Camila’s naked chest and roughly kneads one breast and encloses the other in her mouth. Camila’s grip on her hair tightens when she looks down and sees Lauren worshiping her breast, looking absolutely reverent in the way she devours her, sucking hard on her tit and swirling her tongue on the hardened bud, finally parting from it with a light tug of her teeth. The raven-haired girl moves to do the same thing to her other breast and Camila feels a gush of wetness at Lauren lapping at her breasts deliciously.

 

“Where’s – oh fuck – where’s your room,” she manages to get out as she keeps Lauren’s head pushed against her chest. Lauren pulls back with a wide smile as she taps the girl’s leg lightly, silently telling her to stand back up on her feet. Camila feels unsteady when her feet hit the ground and her knees buckle and almost give way when she hears Lauren’s next words.

 

“I’m taking you right here, baby” she says as she drops to her knees and works on bunching the brown-eyed girl’s dress around her waist, reveling in seeing how the girl’s lace underwear is sticking to her skin in its drenched state. “Hm, so ready for me,” she husks as she takes a languid lick over Camila’s panties and maintains eye contact as the brunette looks down on her. The sight and the sensation of Lauren is too much and not enough at the same time and she whines in frustration when Lauren takes her time in hooking her fingers on the waistband of her panties as she slips it down her legs in a torturous pace.

 

“Please,” she pleads and the green-eyed girl just smirks, helping Camila slip her right leg out of her underwear, and lifting her left leg over her shoulder, her soaked underwear still hanging off of her stilettos.

 

“What do you want, Camila,” she asks in a rasp that sends a new wave of wetness from the brunette when she feels Lauren use her slim fingers to lightly stroke though her wet folds, gathering her wetness from her entrance and dragging it up her to her clit, flicking the bud lightly, causing Camila to lose her breath for a second, before the other girl drags her fingers down to her hole once more, lingering around it teasingly and then moving up again to part her lips with two fingers as she barely connects the tip of her tongue on the newly exposed cavern.

 

Camila can feel her arousal dripping down the inside of thigh and she barely gets out, “Please, Laur. Fuck me,” she pants.

 

“As you wish,” the other girl replies as she removes her finger and thrusts her tongue completely into Camila, her walls immediately clenching around Lauren’s talented muscle as she swirls it around. The brunette’s hands fly to the back of Lauren’s head, pushing the girl’s face impossibly closer as the raven-haired girl continues to relentlessly thrust herself in and out of Camila.

 

Lauren pulls her tongue out and Camila’s complain dies in her mouth as she lets out a guttural moan when Lauren pushes her middle and ring finger deep into her sex, curling her fingers as she latches her mouth on the girl’s clit, wrapping her lips onto the skin surrounding her bud and using her tongue to flick at it repeatedly, her fingers matching her tongue’s pace.

 

The raven-haired girl keeps her fingers curled as she pulses in and out of Camila’s pussy in long, hard strokes. “Oh my fuc- oh my god, just like that oh!” Camila exclaims as she continues to grip Lauren’s hair tighter, guiding her face where she wants it – where she _needs_ it. Her head is tilted back against the wall, her back arching out almost painfully, as she moves her hips erratically, trying to keep up with Lauren’s thrust, riding her face roughly as she chases her high. Lauren feels the heat between her own thighs grow as she feels the other girl’s walls clamping hard onto her fingers that are brushing against spongy walls.

 

Lauren pulls her head back but keeps slamming her fingers into Camila, who whines at the loss of the sensation on her clit. “No, Laur, please I’m so close,” she almost sobs out.

 

“Look at me, Camila,” Lauren husks against her sex, her hot breath driving Camila’s body closer and closer to her climax. When Camila keeps her eyes shut tight, Lauren brings her other hand to roughly pinch at Camila’s reddened nipple, causing the brunette to moan loudly, her body arching into Lauren’s hand. “I said look at me,” Lauren says in a more authoritative tone.

 

Camila struggles to open her eyes and when she looks down, the sight of Lauren looking up at her with the brunette’s arousal smeared on her lips is almost enough to send her over the edge. Lauren gives her a wicked smile, maintaining eye contact when she says, “Good girl,” and laps at her clit once again, resuming her fervent pace.

 

Lauren’s words and her deft fingers prove to be too much as Camila is thrown over the edge, her body convulsing against Lauren’s face as she pushes the girl’s head deep into the space between her legs, trying to prolong her orgasm. Lauren keeps a steady pulse with her fingers as Camila comes down from her high. The brunette’s body continues to tremble for several more seconds as the green-eyed girl eagerly licks at her pussy, cleaning her up until Camila can’t take it anymore and pulls Lauren’s face back with her hair, whimpering something about being sensitive.

 

Lauren gets up on her feet, wiping her mouth with the back of her mouth as she does so and leaning in to kiss Camila, her tongue moving slowly and sensually against Camila’s, moaning into the girl’s mouth when she feels the other girl eagerly suck on her tongue, undoubtedly tasting herself.

 

Lauren pulls back and grabs Camila’s hand, dragging her into her bedroom and pushing her onto the bed. The brown-eyed girl settles onto the bed as Lauren hurriedly gets out of her clothes and crawls over Camila, hovering over her as she licks a trail from her thigh, up her sides and her chest, and finally on her neck and ending on her mouth.

 

She feels one of Camila’s hands knead at her breast while the other skims down her front and cups her roughly, both girls moaning at the abundance of wetness coating the brunette’s fingers. The raven-haired girl positions herself so she’s straddling the other girl’s thigh, immediately settling her sex over the girl’s leg and beginning to rock against it in hard strokes, rolling her hips in a way that rubs her clit deliciously against the other girl.

 

She’s been worked up since Camila started coming onto her and giving the girl so much pleasure just minutes before had aroused her immensely that it won’t take long for her to let go. She leans forward and braces one hand on the bed next to Camila’s head while the other settles on the the other girl’s breast, gripping it tight as she rocks herself.

 

Camila sneaks a hand between their bodies and pushes two fingers into Lauren’s sex, the angle allowing Camila to bury deep into the raven-haired girl.

 

“Oh fuck,” Lauren throws her head back, arching her body and leaning back on her hands instead, continuing to rock against Camila’s fingers. The brunette uses her other hand to grab Lauren’s ass cheek and helps the girl grind against her as she watches her lose her rhythm in an attempt to rock frantically, her hips thrusting forward while she’s leant backwards, her full breasts splayed out in front of her and her abdomen contracting with the force of her thrusts as the coil at the base of her stomach tightens even further.

 

The raven-haired girl comes apart with a final, hard push and lets out a guttural groan as she surges forward, falling against Camila and holding her tight as she shudders through her aftershocks, the brunette helping her come down by rubbing her sweat-slicked back soothingly while she breathes hard against the other girl’s neck.

 

“Fuck,” she rasps out breathlessly against Camila’s neck while the brunette just chuckles lightly.

 

“I know,” she says with a smile.

 

After a few minutes, they’re both overcome with fatigue and wordlessly rearrange themselves into a more comfortable position, Lauren sliding down slightly, but keeping a leg and an arm over Camila and burying her face into the crook of the brunette’s neck. The smaller girl pulls the covers up and over them and wraps her arms around Lauren, intertwining their legs and falling asleep easily, mere moments after settling with the girl.

 

*****

 

Camila flutters her eyelids as she slowly begins to wake up and squeezes them shut again at the assault of light peeking through the curtains. She lays for a few seconds before trying to open them again and realizes she hadn’t woken up in a cold sweat, which is enough to startle her to sit up. The sun being up also gives her an indication that it’s most likely past six in the morning and again, she hadn’t woken up at dawn, which is a staggering realization for her.

 

She quickly looks around and her eyes land on dark locks and an expanse of silky, creamy skin littered with scratches and she’s reminded of last night. Lauren had somehow moved off of her some time in the middle of the night and is now lying on her stomach with her face buried in the pillow, but still facing Camila, and the sheets lying haphazardly around her waist.

 

Camila runs a hand through her hair, trying to calm her racing heart for some reason. She doesn’t know why she feels nervous all of a sudden but she can’t help but marvel at the situation. She distinctly remembers having a couple nightmares throughout the night, but this is the first time in months that she hadn’t woken up in a cold sweat and has gotten – she looks at Lauren’s bedside clock – more than five hours of sleep. _Oh shit! I’m gonna be late_ , she thinks as she tries to hurry out of the bed as quickly and as quietly as she can.

 

She takes out a pen and a piece of paper and hurriedly writes out a note.

 

_Laur,_

_Last night was fun. Had to leave for work early._

_Call me XXX-XXXX._

_xo_

_Camila_

She doesn’t know what possessed her to leave her number because she usually doesn’t try to get in contact again with her one-night stands, trying to stay true to its name, but she doesn’t have much time to dwell on it as she sneaks out the door and calls a cab.

 

Camila speed walks through the lobby, her heels echoing against the walls as she tries to make her department meeting on time. She doesn’t want to miss this one particularly because the higher-ups have made recent changes in the staff and she hadn’t been able to thoroughly look at their file before meeting them today. She takes a few seconds to compose herself outside of the conference room before she takes a deep breath and opens the door, entering it confidently despite being a few minutes late.

 

“Ah Ms. Cabello, glad you can join us. Your father is hoping to sit in on this meeting and is running a little late so you can take this time to get to know our new member of the team,” Mr. Wakeham, the Senior Vice President of the Marketing Department, greets her.

 

She straightens her posture and readies to introduce herself when her breath gets caught in her throat as Wakeham moves to his side to introduce the new member. She’s met with wide green eyes and they hold each other’s gaze until Wakeham’s voice brings them back to reality.

 

“Ms. Jauregui, this is Ms. Cabello, the Director of our department and heir to this company,” Wakeham introduces the two as he turns to Camila with a smile. “And Ms. Cabello, this is our new Advertising Account Manager,” he gestures to the raven-haired girl, who has managed to regain her composure.

 

Lauren Jauregui.

 

*****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT note/TW:
> 
> As some of you have probably picked up, this fic is going to include some sensitive topics such as implied ptsd, so please take that into account when reading this. It's not going to be the main focus of this fic, but will play a role in the plot.
> 
> As much as I've researched and used my own educational background on the topic when writing this, I could still miss some things. If anyone finds anything I write to be inaccurate or offensive, please don't be afraid to let me know in the comments or pm me. I'm definitely open to conversation as I try to write as responsibly as I can while making this story as enjoyable as possible without letting it get overshadowed with avoidable mistakes.
> 
> -Maddox


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hit me up at jaureguicabello5eva on wattpad

 

Lauren is trying really hard to pay attention to the meeting, she swears she’s trying. But it’s really hard when the brunette sat across the table from her is sending her furtive – or at least it seems like she’s trying to be furtive – glances. Camila can’t seem to keep her eyes off of Lauren and although the dark-haired girl is flattered by the attention, she can’t get a good read on the girl’s looks. She seems to be switching between different emotions -  confused, curious, and -aroused?

 

Lauren had woken up to an empty bed this morning and although she was initially disappointed, despite knowing last night was probably just a one-night stand, she was quickly appeased by the note left by the brunette. The girl had expressed interest in seeing her again and if last night is any indication of what’s to come, she can’t wait.

 

“Well I do hope that you’ll find this place a good fit for your talents Ms. Jauregui,” Wakeham addresses her and it brings her out of the secret staring contest she was holding with the brown-eyed girl.

 

“Of course,” she replies politely. She sends Camila a quick glance and her lips quirk up in a slight smile when she adds, “I love it here already.”

 

Camila clenches her jaw from across the room and tries hard not to fling the folder in front of her across the table to where the smirking green-eyed girl is sitting. Her father is in the room for crying out loud. Though no one but she and Lauren know anything about her insinuations, it’s still unnerving to the brunette.

 

“Great! Well, meeting adjourned,” Wakeham says and everyone starts to pack their things and file out of the room.

 

“Camila, can I talk to you for a second?” Alejandro Cabello, CEO of Cabello Core Industries, addresses Camila and she whips her head so fast she swears she had whiplash. Her heart is hammering against her chest and she looks at Lauren’s retreating figure before swallowing hard and approaching her father. There’s no way he can know about last night, is there?

 

“Is something wrong?” she asks while fidgeting with her fingers.

 

“No, mija,” Alejandro says with a small smile and Camila lets out an audible breath of relief, at which the older man raises his eyebrow. “I mean, is there something I should know about?”

 

“No, no of course not, dad,” the brunette says with a shake of her head. “I was just wondering if there was a company problem I had to deal with or something like that,” she lies.

 

“Ah, okay,” he accepts her excuse easily. “Well, anyway, your uncle is going to the annual summit in Denver in a couple weeks and I’d like you to accompany him.”

 

“He’s a senior vice-president, dad. I’m sure he can handle himself. Besides, I have no business being there as a lowly director,” she says with a roll of her eyes. She was getting really tired of these conferences.

 

“You have every business being there as the heir to the world’s leading technology company,” he replies sternly. “This isn’t up for debate, Mila. I want you there. You can never have too much exposure.”

 

Camila sighs and runs a hand through her hair frustratedly, “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good, I’ll see you for dinner this weekend,” he says as a final note and leaves Camila in the room feeling like the day just started and she already has the overwhelming urge to bash her head through the wall.

 

She walks out of the conference room and intends on locking herself in her office for the rest of the day when she spots dark locks walking in the hallway to the right. She immediately walks towards the girl and grabs her by the arm without preamble, eliciting a squeal of surprise from the green-eyed girl.

 

She’s still essentially dragging the girl towards the bathroom at the end of the hallway when Lauren regains her composure and smirks at the girl, willingly letting the brunette manhandle her across the hallway. “Ooh, Director Cabello, we’re in the workplace,” she whispers teasingly.

 

“Shut. Up.” the brunette snarls when she turns to face the girl, before resuming on their walk. They reach the bathroom and Camila hastily pulls Lauren inside, following right after and checking under the stalls to make sure no one is around before proceeding to the door and locking it, which causes Lauren to raise her eyebrow.

 

“Really? Here? During office hours too?” Lauren asks, continuing to rile up the girl. Maybe she can work her up and she’ll top this time. “I mean if you insist,” she says as she makes a show of undoing her blazer one button at a time while keeping the girl’s gaze and biting her lip.

 

“Oh my god, Lauren! Can you be serious for like two seconds?” the brunette asks exasperatedly, throwing her arms in the air.

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Lauren says in a pseudo-serious tone while giving the girl a mock-salute and straightening her posture.

 

Camila rolls her eyes and starts pacing the bathroom floor in front of an amused Lauren, who’s now leaning against the counter with her arms crossed in front of her. “This is so bad, oh my god. Fuck,” the smaller girl mutters to herself.

 

“I thought I didn’t do so bad, and I mean, your screams tell me you didn’t think I did that bad either,” Lauren tells the brunette with a straight face.

 

“Do you seriously not see what’s wrong with this?!” Camila yells. “We’re gonna get in so much trouble. Fuck! My father is gonna disown me and throw me out of the company. Oh my god, I’m gonna be homeless and die on the streets,” she cries.

 

“Okay, that’s a bit a dramatic, don’t you think?” the dark-haired girl replies. “But if you _do_ lose your job and become homeless, you can always stay at my place and you can just pay me in sexual favors,” she says with a waggle of her thick but perfectly-shaped eyebrows.

 

“Ugh! You’re actually impossible,” Camila whines. “I could get in serious trouble!”

 

“Relax, will ya?” Lauren tries to reassure the girl. “I mean the whole thing was consensual so it’s all good, right?”

 

“I am your direct boss, Lauren” Camila tries to explain. “Even if I weren’t set to inherit this whole company, we could still get in so much trouble because of my position of power over you,” she finishes and she looks at Lauren’s wide eyes, who looks as if she just put two and two together.

 

“Oh shit, Cabello as in _Cabello_ Core Industries?” she asks, her eyes getting even wider. “Fuck, why didn’t I figure that out earlier?”

 

Camila closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “You’re killing me here, Lauren.”

 

“Well, I still think we’re in the clear,” the taller girl shrugs after she recovers from her shock. “We started this whole thing before we even knew who each other was. They can’t knock us for that, can they?”

 

“Started?” Camila scoffs. “Started and ended, more like it,” she clarifies. “Because, this –” she gestures between the two of them with wild, gesticulating hands, “is not going anywhere any further,” she says resolutely.

 

“So we can’t keep seeing each other?” the green-eyed girl asks with obvious disappointment in her tone.

 

“No!”

 

“Well, why not?” the green-eyed girl pouts like a child who’s been told Christmas has been cancelled.

 

“Because! I never would have done any of this if I knew who you were,” the brunette replies immediately. “And you cannot, and I mean absolutely cannot tell _anyone_ about this,” she tells the other girl sternly with a point of her finger. “Last night meant nothing.”

 

“Fine,” Lauren shrugs easily after taking in the other girl’s words.

 

“Fine,” Camila replies.

 

“Okay,” Lauren answers again.

 

“Okay!” Camila exclaims one more time before unlocking the door hastily and running out of the bathroom while Lauren just chuckles to herself.

 

Camila occupies herself with work throughout the rest of the day, trying to keep a certain green-eyed girl out of her mind. Seeing the girl had been unavoidable throughout the day as they work in the same department and as much as she would have wanted to stay in her office all day, she had meetings to attend and people to confront. Whenever they crossed paths, the dark-haired girl made it a point to look her over and smile at her suggestively or wink at her and all she wants to do is throw her heels at the infuriating woman.

 

She’s walking back to her office when her ears pick up on a conversation between two colleagues just around the corner. She moves a little closer and recognizes that one of the voices belong to a woman named Keana, Dinah’s secretary at Finance, but Camila doesn’t recognize the man she’s talking to.

 

“Damn, have you seen the new Ad Account Manager over at Marketing,” the man whistles. “She is a fine ass woman, I’d definitely tap that,” he continues and Camila can’t help but cringe at his crass attitude.

 

“Yeah, do you think she swings one way or the other?” Keana asks curiously. “I mean, people who are _that_ attractive are never completely straight,” she reasons and Camila really can’t believe her employees are such perverts.

 

“Oh yeah,” the man laughs. “Let’s hope so, maybe we can convince her to a threesome,” and it’s like Camila can _hear_ the waggle of his eyebrows. She figures she’s heard enough and turns the corner to make her presence known, clearing her throat and the man, whose back is turned towards her, startles and hastily whips around, immediately dropping his gaze to the ground upon seeing his boss.

 

“Does my father pay you to gossip and talk crudely about other employees?” Camila asks with an unyielding gaze, her voice dripping with distaste for their words.

 

“No, ma’am,” they say in unison.

 

“Get back to work,” she demands and they scramble off hurriedly as if their lives depended on it.

 

Camila takes a deep breath and resumes her walk to her office. When she opens the door and comes inside, she sees that her friends are already setting up their lunch.

 

“Ugh!” she says as she plops onto her office chair while her friends just eye her cautiously, more focused on getting their food than the mini-tantrum they can sense is on the way. “Can no one in this damn place keep it in their pants?”

 

Dinah raises her eyebrow at that and swallows her food before asking, “Did somebody make a pass at you? I swear to god, Chanch. Leave me their name and department and I’ll take car-,”

 

“No, no nothing like that,” Camila assures her friend. “I just overheard people talking about bedding the new Ad Account Manager as if they even have a chance,” she scoffs.

 

“Oh, Lauren, right?” Ally asks the pair. “I got to talk to her at the cafeteria for a bit. She seems really nice,” the small girl smiles.

 

“And she’s pretty too,” Dinah nods approvingly. Her friends look at her interestedly and she rolls her eyes, “What? I can appreciate a good-looking person, can’t I?” she asks sassily. “What do you think of her, Chanch? Y’all should be well-acquainted, right?”

 

“What? Wha- why would you say that? I just met her too! I don’t even, like, I don’t know where you would get the idea-”

 

“Whoa whoa, Mila,” Dinah interrupts the girl, trying to calm her down. “I just meant she’ll be working directly under you, right?”

 

_Oh she was definitely under me last night_ , Camila thinks to herself.

“Right, right! Of course,” Camila agrees, nodding her head quickly. “Yeah, I guess we will be working a lot together.” Her two friends look at her skeptically as she tries to direct her eyes anywhere but their scrutinizing gazes, and they eventually shrug it off, knowing that she’s a bit off sometimes due to her lack of proper sleep.

 

“Anyway,” Dinah says trying to get the attention off of Camila. “I heard she was in pretty good position to move up to partner in her old firm. Like she was working at an actual advertising firm, not just the sub-department of a company whose main focus isn’t necessarily advertising. I wonder what made her move?” she asks no one in particular. “She seems like she was in a good place.”

 

Camila and Ally shrug their shoulders and they move on from the topic.

 

The rest of the day is just as stressful for Camila as she keeps either seeing Lauren or hearing about how great and nice and friendly she is and like, she’s been here for a day. How has she already charmed the pants off of everyone in Camila’s department?

 

She packs up for the day at around seven, most of the office already having left by five. Camila gets home and gets ready to go out immediately, asking Alfred to take her to a club once she finishes her make-up. She’s resolute in finding a replacement for the green-eyed girl, determined that she can do better and she doesn’t need the one girl that’s been plaguing her mind the entire day.

 

The brunette hangs around in the club, barely sipping on a drink, and surveying her surroundings like she’s done countless times almost every night for the last six months. She finds what she’s looking for and doesn’t hesitate to turn on the charm, easily convincing an over-eager brunette to go to her apartment.

 

They walk the few blocks to the other girl’s place in no time and Camila asks Alfred to stand by for a bit, instructing him to go home if she doesn’t come down in an hour.

 

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” the brunette, whose name Camila can’t seem to remember, breathes against her neck while she has the Latina pinned against her door. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”

 

Camila pulls the girl’s face towards her in a hard kiss in an attempt to stop her from talking and backs her up until she falls on the couch in a fit of giggles. The Cuban-Mexican immediately lies on top of her and attacks the girl’s neck, sucking hard on her pulse point and vaguely registering that the girl’s whimpers and moans aren’t quite as vocal as Lauren’s and the hands running along her sides aren’t quite as soft and experienced.

 

“Fuck,” she curses to herself as she stills her movements on the girl’s neck.

 

“I know, right?” the girl below her says breathlessly. “I’m so wet for you, baby,” she pants.

 

“No, I’m sorry,” Camila replies as she shakes her head and gets up from the girl, looking for her shoes as she gathers her bag and jacket together.

 

“What?! What are you doing?” the other brunette asks angrily.

 

Camila slips on her shoes and runs a hand through her hair in an attempt to tame it from the way the girl was relentlessly grabbing at it while they were making out. “I’m sorry,” she says again. “I can’t do this, I’m- yeah, I’m gonna go. I’m really sorry,” she says as she opens the door and hurries out, hearing how the girl screams float through the hallway, before it gets muffled by the closing door.

 

After taking a quick shower, Camila lies in her bed, her body tired from the stresses of the day, but her mind racing. She refuses to think about how she failed to connect with someone for the first time in a long time. She’s never had trouble using sex as a distraction before and she doesn’t want to delve into why she’s all of a sudden struggling now.

 

She closes her eyes and welcomes any sleep that may come her way, trying to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable nightmare that’s coming her way.

 

The next day, she comes into work more exhausted and irritable than ever before. She’d managed to fall asleep after lying awake for hours and periodically woke up from the same haunting scene that kept replaying in her head.

 

Camila is walking as if in a daze and doesn’t even realize she bumped into someone until she feels strong arms wrap around her to steady her and hears a familiar husky voice in her ear, the girl’s hot breath immediately awakening her senses.

 

“Whoa, Camila,” Lauren chuckles at the girl’s clumsiness. She pulls back and eyes the state of the brunette, even in her impeccable suit and perfectly styled hair, the dark-haired girl can tell the smaller girl is exhausted. She’s done a good job of using make-up to cover up just how tired she actually is but Lauren easily notices the lack of life in those same brown eyes she’d been thinking about in the last two days. “Hey, are you okay?” she asks the other girl softly, who’s straightening her posture and fixing her immaculate suit, while the green-eyed girl rests a reassuring hand on her arm, her voice dripping with concern.

 

Camila looks up at the sincerity in her voice and her eyes lock with worried green eyes, Lauren’s gaze easily breaking down her walls and worming her way into Camila’s chest, spreading a warmth the brunette is fighting hard to keep out. She averts her eyes and moves out of the girl’s grasp.

 

“I’m fine,” she answers without emotion. Lauren scrunches her eyebrows and tries again.

 

“Look, I know we don’t really know each other-” the green-eyed girl tries to say but gets interrupted by the brunette.

 

“Exactly. We don’t know each other, _you_ don’t know me. So stop acting like you do. I said I was fine,” she replies coldly and she _almost_ falters at Lauren’s hurt expression before she convinces herself that this is the way it should be. The less people that are involved with her and her life, the better off those people are. In her mind, she’s a walking time bomb. It’s only a matter of time before everything blows up in her face and she’d like to keep the casualties low when that day comes.

 

“Okay, sure” Lauren answers after a few moments of recovering from Camila’s outburst. She searches the vacant, brown eyes for a few more seconds before she shakes her head to herself. She doesn’t know this girl. Not really. She shouldn’t care so much, especially if she doesn’t want her to. “Have a good day, Ms. Cabello,” she says before walking away from the brunette, leaving Camila feeling even more drained than before.

 

 

*****

 

Camila is having her daily lunch with her friends when Dinah brings up a point they’ve been tiptoeing around in the last few days. “Hey, Mila?” Dinah asks gently, trying not to set off the girl.

 

“Hm?” Camila answers absentmindedly.

 

“Has it been getting worse?” she says in a voice that Camila definitely wouldn’t have heard if it wasn’t so eerily silent in the room as they Dinah’s voice hang in the air. The atmosphere instantly fills with tension while Camila closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to avoid yelling at the only people that can deal with her.

 

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” she answers in a rigid tone.

 

“You can talk to us, Mila,” Ally says reassuringly. Camila looks at her two best friends and she can’t stand the worried looks they’re giving her so she throws caution to the wind.

 

“Okay, if I tell you something, can you both promise that it stays within these walls?” the brunette asks the two girls in front of her, who both nod their head in assurance.

 

Camila takes a deep breath and rips the band-aid off. “I slept with Lauren.”

 

Dinah chokes on her food and Ally gasps so loudly, she starts choking on thin air. Camila just crosses her arms and leans back on her chair, waiting for the dramatics to end.

 

“YES! Chanch, way to go!” the blonde Polynesian cheers as she puts out her fist for Camila to bump in the same instant that Ally exclaims,

 

“Not Lauren too,” she says in what sounds like a whine.

 

Camila looks at her friends disbelievingly, shaking her head. “I’m not fist bumping you Dinah,” she says looking at a disappointed Dinah, who dejectedly lowers her fist. The marketing director turns to Ally and asks with a raised eyebrow, “What do you mean, ‘not Lauren too?’ _I’m_ your best friend, Allyson” she quips.

 

“Yeah I know,” Ally starts to explain. “I was just saying because I know you don’t really form friendships with your…” she trails off trying to find an appropriate word while waving a hand in the air.

 

“One-night stands? Trollops? Lays?” Dinah starts to list possible suggestions before Camila glares at her and she opts to sip on her drink instead.

 

“Your flings,” Ally finally decides on a word. “And I got to talking to Lauren and she’s really nice, Mila. Why did you have to sleep with her too?”

 

Camila rolls her eyes as she tries to explain. “We met at a club before her first day, we didn’t know we were gonna be working together,” she deadpans.

 

Dinah looks like she’s putting together the pieces and snaps her fingers, “Wait wait, so Lauren was your lay the night before you came in that one time and you were like, super defensive about working with her?” she asks the brunette, almost accusingly. “Huh. Guess you guys really _do_ know each other well,” she says with a waggle of her eyebrows.

 

Camila rolls her eyes at girl. “Anyway,” she starts to say. She takes a deep breath and thinks to herself if she really wants to bring the conversation to this. If she’s ready to talk about any of it yet. “My nights have been…” she struggles to find the right words and finally settles on, “pretty bad.”

 

The two girls just look at her patiently, waiting for her to elaborate.

 

“The insomnia is in full force and when it’s not insomnia,” she takes another deep breath. “The nightmares have been especially frequent. Like three or four times a night” she mumbles the last part and looks down on her desk, trying to avoid the pitying looks she knows she’s getting.

 

“How long has it been this bad?” Ally asks in a soft voice.

 

“Well the nightmares happen all the time, but it’s been especially bad in the last couple nights,” Camila says as she keeps her eyes on her desk.

 

“You haven’t been getting laid? And how does this relate to Lauren?” Dinah asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

 

“I just can’t seem to – you know,” she leaves off awkwardly. “I don’t know,” she huffs. “The last time I got a decent amount of sleep was the night with Lauren.”

 

Her best friends raise their eyebrows at that and Camila looks up at Dinah, who is scrunching up her face, looking like she’s trying to solve a puzzle before she snaps her fingers as she exclaims,

 

“Well then there you go! There’s the solution to your problem.”

 

“What is?” Camila asks confusedly.

 

Dinah rolls her eyes and huffs as if it’s obvious. “Just sleep with Lauren again. Better yet,” she says with a mischievous smile. “Why don’t y’all have like a little ‘agreement,’ if you know what I mean,” she suggests with exaggerated air quotes.

 

“What, like a friends-with-benefits kind of thing?” Camila scoffs. “We’re not in college anymore, Dinah. That’s so stupid,” she says dismissively.

 

“Not to mention, highly inappropriate,” Ally adds on with a nod. “The company doesn’t need sexual harassment lawsuits on tops of its other problems, Mila,” she warns the girl.

 

“Exactly,” Camila agrees.

 

“Psh, bullshit,” Dinah retorts. “Like you said, y’all started this thing _before_ you knew who each other was, there’s no coercion or implication of it whatsoever. Also, worse comes to worst, you can always sign one of those forms we have in HR stating your relationship – or whatever it is,” Dinah amends when she sees the brunette stiffen up at her words, “is completely consensual,” she shrugs.

 

“People actually use those?” Camila asks curiously.

 

“Of course! Every company has them for a reason,” the finance director explains. “And with everything that’s been going on in the media, it’s actually been updated to make sure it’s fool-proof and shit.”

 

Camila is silent for a few moments before Ally butts in, “You’re not actually considering this, are you, Mila?” she asks nervously.

 

“No, of course not,” Camila shakes her head, although Ally’s increasingly nervous gaze and Dinah’s smirk tell her that she hadn’t managed to convince either of them.

 

*****

 

Camila startles awake and she takes a few moments to get her breath back from waking up in a panic. She clutches her head in pain and almost sobs at the way the migraine that’s been developing for the past few days due to lack of sleep is currently seeping into her head. Her chest feels constricted and it feels like every breath she takes is passing through shards of glass lodged on her throat. There’s a stinging by her temples that makes it seem like her head is being crushed and the cold sweat spanning her skin makes the room feel more frigid than it actually is.

 

After somewhat recovering from her episode, she hastily pulls the covers off of her body and gets dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, muttering to herself as she grabs her phone, wallet, and keys, “This is her fault anyway. I was fine having sex with strangers before and now I can’t and it’s all her fault, so she’s gonna have to deal with it.” Alfred drives her to her destination and she asks him to pick her up early in the morning.

 

Camila walks up to the door and before she loses her nerve, she rings the doorbell. She’s met with a sleepy-looking Lauren dressed in only an oversized shirt. The dark-haired girl scrunches her face confusedly as she tries to wipe the sleep off her eyes. “Camila?” she rasps.

 

“I have a proposal for you,” Camila says as soon as she recovers from how adorable Lauren looks in her sleep shirt.

 

Lauren kinks an eyebrow as she crosses her arms against her chest and rests her weight on one leg, “You have a proposal at,” she looks at the clock in her living room before bringing her attention back to the brunette, “one in the morning?”

 

“Yes,” Camila answers curtly.

 

“Oookay,” Lauren says as she hesitantly moves so the other girl can walk in. Camila notes that most of the boxes she’d seen a few days ago have been unpacked and put away, making Lauren’s place seem more like a real home that someone actually lives in. “Would you like a drink or anything?” she asks the brunette as she moves to the kitchen while the other girl sits on a bar stool.

 

“No, I’m okay,” she answers. Lauren sits across from her and waits patiently before the smaller girl takes a deep breath and jumps into her casual-sex-no-strings-attached proposal, not even pausing to take a breath and just rushing to get her words out as fast as she can. She cringes to herself when she finishes as silence fills the room.

 

Lauren just looks at her quietly, trying to determine if she’s being serious. “You want to have like a friends-with-benefits kind of arrangement?” she asks, at which the smaller girl nods. “I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me,” Lauren asks with an icy undertone lacing her words.

 

Camila’s shoulders deflate at the girl’s words and she looks up to meet Lauren’s expectant gaze. “I’m sorry about that by the way. I was having a really, and I mean really bad day, if you couldn’t tell by how much of a mess I looked at the time and I just took out my frustrations on you. I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry” she says solemnly.

 

Lauren’s guard come down at the girl’s words and she relaxes her posture. “Okay, apology accepted,” Lauren replies genuinely. “But, are you sure about what you’re saying? What happened to company rules and getting disowned by your dad, which subsequently leads to you being homeless?” she asks with a slight smile.

 

“And that’s why this whole thing has to be first and foremost, handled with utmost discretion. And secondly, be completely consensual and mutual. I am presenting this to you as a mere offer that you have the sole power of taking or rejecting,” Camila explains. “You have no obligation to say yes and you won’t be penalized in any way or form if you say no,” she clarifies. “I’ll sign a form or a contract or anything if you want.”

 

“Well that won’t be necessary,” Lauren says with a slight chuckle. “But why would you think I would even agree to this?” she asks the girl challengingly.

 

“Well, you literally didn’t do a good job of hiding your disappointment that first day in the bathroom when I said we won’t be doing it anymore,” the brunette responds without missing a beat. “I figured that this arrangement could work,” she shrugs. “We already know we have good chemistry in bed,” at which Lauren’s smile widens while Camila just rolls her eyes, “and we pretty much have the same work schedule so it could be very convenient and beneficial for the both of us.” She continues to hold Lauren’s gaze when she explains herself. “I like sex just as much as any sexual human being and am not looking for a relationship whatsoever, so why not do something like this where I know who to go when I need that itch to scratched without worrying about the consequences of casual sex with a different person every night,” she shrugs.

 

Lauren’s eyes widen at the brunette’s last statement. “You have sex with a different person every night?” she asks her in amazement.

 

“Most nights,” Camila clarifies. “You got a problem with that?” she asks with a defiant gaze.

 

“Oh no no, none at all,” Lauren answers with a vigorous shake of her head. “I’m just impressed with myself that I was the one to stop the bed-hopping. Found your match, huh?” she says while wiggling her eyebrows.

 

“Are you in or not?” the brown-eyed girl asks impatiently.

 

“Hm?” Lauren puts a finger on her chin and looks up at the ceiling, pretending to think for a while. “Well what do I get out this?”

 

“You mean besides great sex? _Convenient_ great sex at that.”

 

“That’s a good point,” Lauren nods. “Okay, I’m in, but,” she says while pointing a finger in the air, halting Camila from saying what she was gonna say. “We have to have rules,” she says as a condition.

 

“Right, of course,” the brunette agrees while pulling out a folded piece of paper and straightening it out on the table in front of Lauren with her hands. “Here are the rules I’ve come up with and we can discuss whatever conditions you might want to add. Again, this is a mutual agreement so you have as much of a say in this as I do. Within this agreement, we are equals, not boss and employee” she elaborates.

 

“Wow,” Lauren says while raking her eyes over the list that is scrawled in what she’s assuming is Camila’s messy handwriting, “You actually wrote a list?”

 

“So I like to be prepared, sue me,” she says.

 

“No feelings,” Lauren reads. “Okay, that makes sense,” she nods. “Considering this is supposed to be just sex, right?” she clarifies with a gesture between them.

 

“Exactly,” Camila responds. “And if you read under that, you can see that _if_ in the event that you develop some feelings-”

 

“Or you,” Lauren quips. Camila just rolls her eyes.

 

“Not likely, but in the event that feelings do develop,” Camila continues while Lauren purses her lips to keep herself from giving a retort. “We have to tell the other person right away. I mean, as soon as you – or _either of us_ ,” she amends when Lauren gives her a look, “…even think about having feelings. That way, we can immediately call this off and start to move on, thus minimizing the complications.”

 

“Okay, hold up a sec,” Lauren interrupts the girl. “Can you, like, not talk so formally? You’re treating this like it’s an actual business thing and it’s throwing me off.”

 

Camila takes a deep breath, “Fine. Did you have questions on the rules or do you have anything to add?”

 

“So we break it off immediately if one of us wants to seriously date other people,” Lauren asks as she reads the second rule.

 

“Yup,” Camila agrees while picking up a banana from Lauren’s fruit basket and peeling it. “Again, probably going to be you out of the two of us,” she says around a mouthful of banana. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from pursuing a real relationship.”

 

“Oh sure, yeah. Go ahead, you can have a banana,” the raven-haired girl says sarcastically, to which the brunette just shrugs unapologetically. The green-eyed girl tries to hide her smile as she redirects her attention back on the list. “Staying over is decided on a case-by-case basis,” she reads aloud.

 

“Hm-mhm,” Camila says while trying to finish chewing. “We’ll take it one night at a time, and it’s up to whose ever place we’re in to decide if we want the other person to stay or not. Personally, I most likely won’t have a problem with you staying over most nights,” she tries to say casually, trying not to let Lauren in on just how much she actually would want the raven-haired girl to stay over. How she _needs_ the company.

 

“Okay, sounds good,” the green-eyed girl responds. “Okay, last two. No getting personal?”

 

“No asking personal questions, no meddling in each other’s personal lives. This thing is just about pure sex. Nothing else,” Camila reiterates.

 

“Okay, that actually is a really good idea” Lauren agrees as she thinks about her own situation. Camila studies her expression and gets intrigued by the girl’s reaction but bites her lip to keep herself from saying her thoughts out loud. “And finally, no one else finds out. Not our friends, not our families, and most definitely, not our workmates,” Lauren reads the last one on the list. “What, you’re embarrassed of me or something?” she asks the brunette in a fake hurt tone.

 

“What! No, of course not. I just mean, like, we have to be discreet – and – it’s, I mean, it’s what’s best for both of us, given the circumstance and-”

 

“Okay, don’t hurt yourself, princess,” Lauren chuckles. “I was just kidding.”

 

Camila huffs and crosses her arms, “Well, anyway. Are you good with the rules or what?”

 

“Couple things,” the green-eyed girl says. “Are we allowed to sleep with other people?”

 

The brunette furrows her eyebrows in confusion, the suggestion bothering her more than she expected. “Um, I don’t mean to be come off as possessive, but I’d really rather not have to deal with other people getting involved. I mean the point of this whole thing is so we can have sex whenever we want, given that it permits our schedule, so why would we need anyone else outside of that if we’re already providing it for each other?”

 

“You bring up a very good point, Ms. Cabello,” Lauren says teasingly. “Anyway, I was just messing with you, just trying to get a reaction,” she says despite the girl pouting at her.

 

“Okay then, great! And if you have the urgent need to sleep with someone else, just say so, and we can call this off amicably. It won’t be a problem,” Camila clarifies.

 

“Okay, but how does this work exactly? Do we have a schedule?” Lauren asks unsurely.

 

“No,” Camila shakes her head. “Either of us can initiate whenever we want and it’s up to the other to decide whether they want to or not.”

 

“Great! Then we have a deal,” Lauren concludes.

 

“Awesome,” Camila replies nodding her head while fiddling with her fingers on top of the table.

 

“Um,” Lauren starts to say while rubbing the back of her neck.

 

“So where do you wanna do it? Couch or your room?” Camila interrupts her abruptly.

 

Lauren sputters out incomprehensible sounds from her mouth as she tries to formulate her thoughts from the girl’s sudden proposition before she finally gets out, “You wanna start now?” she squeaks out in an uncharacteristically high-pitched voice.

 

“I mean, yeah” Camila answers easily. “I did trek all the way over to your place at one in the morning. Are you…not up for it?” she asks the raven-haired girl while kinking an eyebrow.

 

The girl’s question snaps Lauren out of her shock and she immediately shakes her head. “Of course I am! I’m always up for it,” she says with her head held high.

 

“Great!” Camila exclaims as she stands up and walks to Lauren’s bedroom, making the decision herself since the other girl seems to still be in a bit of a daze as she strips her clothes on the way, leaving Lauren’s mouth hanging and the heat between her thighs to grow.

 

\--

 

Camila opens her eyes slowly and is met with dark locks and exposed, creamy white skin. It takes her a few seconds to adjust to where she is – it’s almost as disorienting as waking up in a cold sweat when she _doesn’t_ wake up in a panic. She rolls over on her back, rubbing her eyes as she lies peacefully for a few more moments, basking in the way she can breathe easily and the rare tranquility in her mind before looking at her phone and seeing a message that Alfred is downstairs waiting for her from twenty minutes ago.

 

She sends Lauren a text saying she left to go back to her place to get ready for work before she gets up quietly and starts to get dressed. She takes one last look around to see if she left anything and leaves with a content smile on her face.

 

*****

 

Work is infinitely better for Camila (and her employees) as her attitude changes for the better. If her friends notice the uptick in her mood, they don’t bring it up, opting to enjoy it while it lasts and happy to know that their friend is finally getting some much-needed rest. They’re not sure what’s changed yet, but Dinah be damned if she doesn’t find out soon enough.

 

Camila is working even more efficiently as as she slowly, but gradually eases into a sleeping schedule that consists of more than three hours a night and with minimal haunting dreams.

 

Lauren and Camila meet up often throughout the day and sneak into any place they can think of – bathrooms, empty conference rooms, storage closets, Lauren’s car – and most nights, they’re in each other’s place, lost in the throes of passion.

 

\--

 

“Fuck,” Camila mutters as she squeezes her eyes shut and her head falls to rest on Lauren’s shoulder, while she tries to contain her moans by biting her lip. She feels Lauren’s swollen lips smile against the skin of her neck as the raven-haired girl pumps in and out of her furiously.

 

“Shhh,” Lauren breathes out in her ear teasingly. “You gotta be quiet, baby,” she tells the brunette as she goes back to the girl’s neck and bites harshly before licking at the reddening spot and blowing a warm breath on it after.

 

“Oh my fu-” Camila muffles her screams by biting into Lauren’s clothed shoulder, the raven-haired girl enjoying the sharp sting of pain, knowing that Camila is losing it to pleasure because of her.

 

Right now, Lauren has Camila on the edge of the bathroom counter, with one arm holding her close around the waist, and the other with three fingers knuckle-deep in her soaking sex, the pulsing movement giving off a sloppy sound that echoes against the walls. Lauren’s pantsuit is a bit crinkled by the way Camila is clutching her desperately around her shoulders but is otherwise untouched. Camila, on the other hand, is a different story.

 

The brunette’s knee-length tight skirt is bunched around her waist, her button-up shirt open all the way, exposing her heaving chest and her hard and swollen nipples as her black, lacy bra is haphazardly pulled down to show her perky breasts. Her panties are pulled to side and her long legs are wrapped tightly around Lauren’s waist, ankles locked behind the green-eyed girl.

 

They had been working late on a project and it was nearing eight o’clock when Camila decided they needed a break. Lauren was more than willing to comply.

 

Lauren moves her shoulder a bit to signal Camila to lift her head and when she does, the raven-haired girl takes no time to put her mouth on Camila’s, closing her plump lips around the girl’s bottom one and engaging her in a deep, rough kiss, her tongue immediately invading the warmth of her mouth when she gasps as Lauren tilts her head to further deepen the kiss.

 

She moves her fingers even faster, making sure to slam her palm hard against the girl’s swollen clit as Camila desperately tries to meet her fingers with frantic thrusts of her hips. The brunette pulls back from the kiss when she’s no longer able to keep up as she nears her climax, going back to Lauren’s neck instead, biting her pulse point and muffling her cries when she comes hard, gushing all over Lauren’s fingers.

 

Lauren pulls her fingers out after helping the girl ride out her pleasure and Camila whimpers at the loss as she tries to even out her breathing while the raven-haired girl rubs her back soothingly.

 

“Fuck,” Camila breathes out and Lauren just smiles at the girl, who’s still spent and looks like she’s going to fall asleep on Lauren’s shoulder.

 

“So…your place or mine?” the green-eyed girl asks.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Camila answers tiredly. “Just be ready for when I return the favor,” she says while the other girl just continues to rub her back. After several moments of just peacefully staying in their position, Camila climbs off the counter and proceeds to fix herself in front of the mirror so she doesn’t look like she’s just been thoroughly fucked.

 

Lauren “fixes” her own suit, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles on clothes before moving behind Camila, helping her straighten out her clothes as she meets brown eyes on the reflection when she leans to whisper in the girl’s ear, “Looking forward to it,” she husks as she runs her hands down the girl’s sides and gives the girl’s ass one last squeeze before leaving with a devilish smirk, the brunette having to steady herself on the counter for several more moments before heading out herself, giving up on her wild hair after combing through it with her fingers a few times.

 

*****

 

“Yeah, okay…yeah…sure,” Camila nods as she responds to the receiver while she paces her living room. “No, of course. Keep me updated on her status, okay? Bye, Alfred. Stay safe please,” she ends the call as she worries her bottom lip and dials another number.

 

“Come on, Dinah. Pick up your phone,” she mutters to herself as she takes a quick glance at her clock and sees that it’s almost eleven at night. “Shit,” she says as she gets sent to voicemail for the third time.

 

Alfred’s wife was rushed to the hospital for chest pains and he’s unable to drive her the next day so Camila is trying to contact _somebody_ to help her get to work. Dinah isn’t picking up and Ally takes the sub. She really doesn’t want to take a cab because the last time she did, the driver was leering at her through the rearview mirror so much that they nearly got in an accident and that’s really the last thing she needs in her life right now. She doesn’t even consider the subway as a real option either. Not after she saw an old man petting a raccoon in his lap while staring ahead with a straight face and dressed as a clown the last time she was on the subway.

 

She looks at the contact on her phone for several moments before she bites the bullet and hits call. It rings twice before a raspy voice flows through the receiver on her phone and she exhales a breath of relief, as if she was expecting the girl not to pick up.

 

“ _Is this a late night booty call?_ ” Lauren rasps with a chuckle and her laugh immediately calms Camila’s nerves.

 

“Um, not really,” the brunette answers unsurely. The green-eyed girl picks up on her tone and instantly turns serious.

 

“ _Wait, is everything okay? Are you all right? Do you need me to pick you up somewhere?_ ” the raven-haired girl replies hastily while already gathering her things, getting ready to dash out the door at Camila’s go-signal.

 

“No, no I’m fine,” Camila assures her, smiling at the girl’s concern. “It’s just that, um, Alfred’s wife is in the hospital so he can’t get me tomorrow and – um – Dinah’s not picking up and Ally doesn’t drive either so-”

 

“ _Whoa, calm down, babe,_ ” Lauren tries to slow the girl’s ramblings down. “ _What do you need me to do? Do you need a ride for tomorrow?_ ”

 

“Yeah,” Camila breathes a sigh of relief. “But if you want, you can actually come over now and just bring clothes for work and we can head out together in the morning so you don’t have to worry about waking up early just to drop by my place,” she asks hesitantly, now going back to worrying her lip as her heart thuds against her chest in anticipation.

 

“ _Sure. That sounds like a good idea. I’ll be there in half an hour_ ,” the green-eyed girl easily agrees, once again having the ability to soothe the brunette’s nerves.

 

“Okay, thanks” the brunette responds shyly before they get off the phone. She plops on her couch as she thinks about how everything seems so easy with Lauren – as if her worries and troubles get put away in the few moments that the other girl spends with her.

 

\--

 

Camila wakes up to an empty bed but she instantly relaxes her features when she hears soft music streaming through the door from somewhere outside her bedroom. She puts on a fresh pair of underwear and throws on Lauren’s shirt before proceeding to wash up and brush her teeth in the bathroom.

 

She pads out of her bedroom, still half-asleep despite washing her face and pauses to watch the dark-haired girl work in her kitchen. Her dark locks are loosely secured in a ponytail, gently swaying her hips to the music in one of Camila’s NYU sweatshirts and nothing else. Her bottom lip is trapped between her teeth as she works on flipping the pancakes, the early morning light streaming through the windows and making her eyes look a mesmerizing shade of light green.

 

The brunette can’t help herself as she walks to the dark-haired girl and stands behind her, whispering in her ear as she sneaks her leg between the raven-haired girl’s own legs so they’re interwoven with one another as they stand close, trying to keep herself warm from the cold breeze flowing in through the open window in the kitchen. She glides slender fingers down to hem of her sweatshirt and brings her hands under it, smiling at the soft skin that she finds, “Hm, I don’t think we were able to even out the score last night,” she says while giving the girl’s earlobe a light nip, sending shivers down the dark-haired girl’s back. “I think I owe you an orgasm – or two,” she husks in her ear.

 

Lauren laughs and shakes her head at the girl. She turns off the stove and places a couple pancakes on a plate already containing eggs and bacon. “As much as I’d love that, we’re going to be late if I let you go any further,” she says as she gently takes Camila’s hands from under her sweatshirt and leads her to the breakfast table. “The whole point of me coming over was so we could get to work on time.”

 

Camila dives into her food once it’s set and replies, “That and for a late night booty call, of course,” she adds cheekily. Lauren smiles over the cup of coffee she’s sipping on as she watches the normally-composed and well-put together director inhale the breakfast in front of her.

 

“Worked up an appetite, huh?” she asks the girl teasingly.

 

“Shut up, I’m always really hungry in the morning,” the brunette replies as she downs her food with some water. “So…,” she starts to say as she meets Lauren’s raised eyebrow. “Is this how you woo your girls – or boys – or whatever? Making them breakfast after a night of great sex?”

 

Lauren lets out a full-bodied laugh and Camila can’t help but smile at the unadulterated joy that the dark-haired girl shows, not scared to express her full emotions on display. She envies the way Lauren is carefree and unapologetic in her actions and marvels at how her eyes display everything she’s feeling for anyone willing to pay enough attention to the girl.

 

“No, not everyone. Just the ones I like,” she winks at the girl. “And I only really know how to make breakfast foods so that’s all they’re getting anyway.”

 

Camila shakes her head but can’t help the small smile that forms on her lips. She notices that Lauren doesn’t have a plate in front of her, just a cup of black coffee. She furrows her brows and asks the girl, “Um, where’s _your_ breakfast?”

 

Lauren makes a show of eyeing the girl in front of her and raises an eyebrow.

 

“Oh my god, Lauren! Get out of here!” she says amidst laughter. “You’re absolutely insufferable, you know that?”

 

“Hm, I think you mean the best, if we’re going by the things you said last night,” she continues to tease the girl.

 

“I can’t with you,” she says while trying to shove the girl, barely able to nudge her from her seat. Lauren is about to say something when her phone rings on the table and she picks it up after reading the name on the screen.

 

“Hey, Mani,” she greets her friend cheerfully while Camila eyes her over her breakfast. “Yeah…yeah. No, we’re still good for lunch today….Okay…See you later, babe,” she says as she ends the call.

 

Camila looks at her expectantly, “Are we cutting this short already?” she asks in reference to their rule of breaking off the arrangement in the event they should want to date other people.

 

“Oh no,” Lauren shakes her head. “That was just Mani, my best friend,” she beams. “We kind of lost touch when she moved here and I stayed in Miami, so we’re trying to make up for lost time now that I’m living here.”

 

“Ah, okay,” Camila nods as she finishes the last bit of her food. She wants to ask more about why Lauren chose New York over a more lucrative position in Miami ever since she learned what Dinah said about her working at a firm before working for her company. She shakes her head at herself after remembering that one of her rules was to not ask questions about their personal lives. She doesn’t want it to lead to a conversation that forces her to open up to the girl too. “Well, I’m gonna go shower. I’ll leave the door open for when you finish your coffee and want to join me. You know, so we can save some water and time,” she winks as she saunters away, purposely swaying her hips, knowing the girl’s eyes are glued to her ass peeking out of the bottom of her shirt.

 

“Well, if it’s for the sake of water conservation and efficiency,” Lauren says as she follows the girl.

 

Camila and Lauren barely make it to work on time as the brunette insisted on leveling out the score and had immediately dropped to her knees when Lauren joined her in the shower, showing the girl her appreciation for coming over and working to reduce the girl to a mess of whimpers and moans with her tongue deep in the heat between strong thighs as the raven-haired girl buried her hands in her own brown locks.

 

The brunette walks through the lobby with the same imposing air as usual but with an added sense of lightness to her. The employees have been enjoying her good mood in the last couple weeks as her aura seems to be infectious, radiating off of her and trickling down to the rest of her department.

 

She walks in her office and sits on her chair, letting out a sigh of contentment.

 

“Well someone’s definitely getting laid,” Dinah’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts and she jumps in her seat at the unexpected company.

 

“Shit, Dinah!” Camila exclaims with a hand over her beating heart. “You scared me. What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

“If your head wasn’t in the clouds, you’d see that I was sitting in your direct line of view, Chanch,” she shakes her head in mock-disapproval as she gets up from the couch in Camila’s office and goes to one of the chairs in front of her desk. “So, who’s got you smiling like a crazy woman?” she asks interestedly, propping her chin on her hand.

 

“No one,” Camila says trying to tame her smile. “I’m just getting rest, is all,” the marketing director replies, which isn’t exactly false. She shrugs nonchalantly as she tries to downplay her mood.

 

“Hm-mhm,” Dinah says skeptically, squinting her eyes at the girl. “Whatever you say, girl. I’m gonna find out sooner or later, anyway,” she insists.

 

Camila looks at her friend and contemplates her words. Has she really been so in her head that she hadn’t noticed her friend was sitting right in her office? She shrugs it off and engages in a conversation with Dinah about their plans to go out again, still on a mission to help Dinah get over her ex, as her own mind wanders to a certain green-eyed girl every once in a while, the blonde in front of her having to snap her fingers to get her attention back to their conversation.

 

Lauren enters the building a few minutes after Camila to prevent anyone from getting suspicious and she walks in with a matching grin, her own mind in cloud nine as she’s still high off of spending the night and morning with Camila.

 

She’s never met someone that challenges her like Camila, offering her with just enough push and pull. The brunette ignites a passion within her while keeping her on her toes, bringing her to a high and ready to catch her when she comes down. The brown-eyed girl comes off as reserved and unapproachable to people who don’t get to see her up close, but Lauren knows, there’s more to the girl. She knows by the way the girl reacts to her touches, by the way she grabs onto Lauren when they’re lost in lust, and the way she bores her eyes into Lauren’s, that there’s more beneath the surface that’s begging to come out, and the raven-haired girl is more than willing to be the one to get to know the girl beyond the passion. Her arrangement with the brunette has also helped take some of the stress off her shoulders and take her mind off of her own problems.

 

She goes about her day with a permanent smile on her face, her co-workers giving her weird looks when they pass by her desk, as she absentmindedly thinks about the next time she can get Camila alone.

 

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
>  
> 
> In celebration of Camren performing on the same stage again, even if it is at different times, and wearing similar ugly-ass hats (you know the one), here’s an update.
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you all have a great weekend, and for those of you who are getting snow, happy snow day and stay safe!
> 
>  
> 
> As always, feel free to leave a vote/comment/feedback/etc. if you feel like it.
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter gives you guys a bit more insight on the accident and Lauren’s reason for moving to NY.
> 
>  
> 
> I’m always happy to hear about what you guys think so feel free to let me know!
> 
>  
> 
> Hit me up @jaureguicabello5eva on wattpad

**  
**

Camila looks out of the window of the restaurant she’s in as she thinks about all the emotions that’s weighing in her mind. Their food had just arrived but Ally is still in the bathroom and she didn’t want to start eating without the smaller brunette so she lets herself get lost in thoughts. Her eyes wander through the streets and thinks about how all the things she sees are but a glimpse of the countless lives all around her.

 

Her eyes fall on a young teen, his built is lean and muscular, and she watches him as he laughs and jokes around with his friends, playfully pushing each other along the sidewalk. Camila thinks about what opportunities lie ahead for him and wonders if he’s grateful. She continues to look around and sees an older couple walking hand in hand alongside a teenage girl, wide smiles on their faces as they talk merrily, bundled in layers of clothing as they try to fight winter in New York. The wrinkles by their eyes and mouths tell of a life filled with struggle, but also that filled with smiles. Camila wonders if they know how lucky they are to be able to grow old together. She sees a truck driver, leaning his head lazily on his elbow that is propped on the side of his door as he tries to brave through New York traffic, his eyes drooping in exhaustion. She hopes he’s responsible enough to pull over when he knows he’s approaching his limit.

 

Then, her eyes land on a middle-aged man staggering on the sidewalk. Camila can see from where she’s sat that the man’s eyes are glazed, his coat open to show that his dress shirt is untucked at the bottom and unbuttoned at the top. His hair is a mess and he’s sporting an unkempt stubble. Camila watches with scared eyes as he uses what he can – parking meters, parked bikes, the side of a car – to keep himself upright.

 

The brunette shuts her eyes close and takes a deep breath, praying and hoping that he’s not about to get behind the wheel. She’s relieved when she opens her eyes again and sees a woman guide him to get in the back of a car. Camila steadies her heartbeat and takes a swig from her glass of wine, trying to shake off the memories of that night.

 

She’s brought out of her reverie when Ally comes back to sit across from her, panting from slight exertion. “I’m sorry I took so long,” the smaller girl says as she catches her breath. “There was this mom that needed my help in the bathroom.” Camila smiles at the purity of her friend’s heart and considers herself lucky enough to be blessed with people like Ally to help her get through her toughest times.

 

They talk throughout their dinner, discussing business every once in a while because as much as they try not to, they, along with Dinah, grew up in the corporate world. They’ve been whisked away to business trips to places like Morocco and fancy dinners in cities like L.A. for as long as they can remember, so much of it is second nature, really – the inside of conference rooms as common as those of class rooms when they were growing up.

 

For the most part however, they engage in conversation about their lives outside of the office. Camila asks about Ally’s husband, Troy, and how he’s doing at the new law firm he’s been working at, while Ally tries to subtly get information about Camila’s mental and emotional state and is unsatisfied when the girl fails to elaborate. She can tell her friend is definitely better compared to recent months, but she’s worried about the reason why.

 

Ally sees it in the way Camila looks rested most mornings, with the occasional days where she looks like she hadn’t slept a wink, few and far in between. She sees it in the girl’s improved mood and the way she gets more involved in conversation when they have lunch together. She has an idea of what’s changed based on a discussion she had with Dinah, but Ally wants to make sure Camila knows what she’s getting into.

 

 

\--

 

 

_“Lauren and Camila are definitely fucking,” Dinah’s booming voice reverberates through Ally’s office as she waltzes in and plops onto her couch with a wide smile on her face._

_“Dinah Jane!” Ally whisper-yells with wide eyes. “Can you please tone it down? We’re in the freaking work place for crying out loud.”_

_“Sorry, sorry,” the blonde says sheepishly. “No one’s out there anyway, your secretary’s out for lunch,” she shrugs. “Anyways, did you hear what I said?”_

_“I think all of Manhattan heard what you said,” the girl at her desk deadpans._

_Dinah just rolls her eyes. “Upon further investigation on my part,” she gives the girl a look for not actively helping her in figuring out why Camila has been noticeably happier lately. “I’ve concluded that Camila is getting laid a lot, like possibly, every night - courtesy of our new Ad Account Manager,” she says with a smirk._

_“How do you figure that?” Ally asks while never taking her eyes off her computer, although her interest is piqued._

_“Well today, I saw them eye-fucking each other and then they thought they were being slick by going to the bathroom five minutes apart,” she says with a shake of her head. “And they came out together after like, half an hour, with Camila looking a whole mess,” she shrugs. “I put two and two together.”_

_“Huh,” Ally says in deep thought. “So you think Camila took your advice and is doing some no strings attached business with Lauren, or do you think they’re like together, together?” she says the last part unsurely, having the tiniest bit of hope, although she already knows the answer to her own question._

_“Psh,” Dinah scoffs. “You and I both know Camila is not ready for that ish,” she says in a matter-of-fact tone. “I’m almost positive it’s just sex.”_

_“Yeah, you’re probably right,” the brunette responds sadly._

 

\--

 

 

Ally doesn’t even realize that she’s staring until Camila’s voice floats through the air and shakes her out of her thoughts.

 

“What,” Camila asks with a confused face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Sorry,” Ally shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

 

“Alz,” the taller brunette insists. “What is it? Come on, I’m a big girl. I can take it,” she says with a smile to ease the girl’s worries.

 

Ally bites her lip and takes a deep breath before answering. “Do you think what you’re doing with Lauren is what’s best for you?” she asks in a small voice.

 

Camila stiffens up at the mention of their arrangement. She doesn’t remember telling Ally, or anyone really, because that was part of the deal. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” she responds curtly, silently asking the girl to move on from the topic.

 

Ally gives her a look that says she’s full of shit and it’d be a waste of time trying to deny the obvious so she might as well speak up. Camila sighs deeply when the girl stands her ground and she focuses her gaze on her pasta when she speaks.

 

“How do you even know about that?”

 

“Dinah figured it out. You aren’t as subtle as you think,” the smaller brunette says, trying to get a read on Camila’s expression.

 

“Well, fuck,” Camila says as she leans back on her seat in resignation. “No one is supposed to know. God, Lauren is not gonna like this,” she mutters as she rubs a hand on her temple.

 

“Why don’t you worry about what Lauren will think later and focus on my question,” Ally continues with a raised eyebrow. “I’m sure whatever – _arrangement_ – you and Lauren have can spare your best friends, who you’ve known all your life and shouldn’t be shutting out.”

 

Camila sighs again at Ally’s tone and tries to gather her thoughts so she can explain herself well without giving too much away. She blocks out the chatter around the restaurant and trains her face to hide what she’s really feeling. “I don’t see the harm in it,” she shrugs. “We’re both getting something out of it and we’ve discussed it extensively, trust me,” she says with a small smile. “It’s consensual and completely mutual with the option for either of us being able to back out whenever we feel like it.”

 

“So this isn’t like a real relationship?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to do this and get involved while – you know…” she doesn’t really know how to say it.

 

“While I’m damaged?” Camila asks with a bitter laugh. “I’ll be sure to keep my problems to myself, I promise.”

 

“Camila, you know that’s not what I meant,” Ally says in a tone that lets Camila know she cares but at the same time makes the taller brunette want to pull her hair out. She can’t stand the pitying stares and the concern of everyone around her constantly hovering above her head like a fog. It’s suffocating and it takes her back to that night when she couldn’t breathe from the all-encompassing grief that surrounded her - when she witnessed everyone else lose while she was given the chance to _live_ , if she can even call it that.

 

She takes a deep breath to calm herself because she really can’t afford to blow up on one of the few friends she truly cares about. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m really not ‘involved,’” she quotes her friend. “This thing with Lauren – is purely about sex. That much is clear. She knows it. I know it. We’re both adults and that’s that.”

 

Ally stops herself from saying what she really thinks. That it’s never going to be just about sex if they continue this. Feelings are going to get involved and Camila is already too hurt to be putting herself in this position. She knows Camila isn’t ready to be emotionally invested in anyone and she doesn’t want her friend to be put in a situation where her insecurities and her demons will come back to haunt her. She doesn’t know Lauren personally, but she feels bad that the girl might become a casualty in this mess. She hopes they truly know what they’re doing.

 

“Okay,” Ally responds quietly, but it doesn’t appease Camila. She feels like she has to prove herself.

 

 

\--

 

 

Camila lies still in her bed as her mind races, thinking about Ally’s words. She’s wrong, it doesn’t mean anything and it _won’t_ mean anything. She’s going to prove it to herself. With a determination like never before, she unlocks her phone and looks for the green-eyed girl’s contact. When the raven-haired girl doesn’t answer her call, she huffs to herself and sends a text instead.

 

 

_Camila: hey, come over?_

After a few agonizing moments, she receives a reply.

 

 

**Lauren: sorry, can’t right now**

Camila scowls at her screen and sends her reply.

 

 

_Camila: text me when you can_

She locks her phone and huffs on her bed, crossing her arms petulantly as she’s not used to being denied or not getting her way.

 

 

\--

 

 

Lauren replies to Camila’s booty text and shakes her head fondly at the insatiable brunette.

 

**Lauren: will do, princess ;)**

 

She puts her phone away as she straightens her clothes and walks through the familiar doors into the building while holding onto a bouquet of gardenias.

 

As she stands outside the door for the millionth time, the green-eyed girl tries compose herself and runs a hand through her hair once more before she takes a deep breath and turns the handle to push it open, a smile quickly forming on her lips as she sets her sights on the most important woman in her life.

 

“Hi mama,” she greets her mom as she approaches her bedside, gently placing the flowers on the table so she can lean down and hug Clara. She holds onto her for a few moments longer than usual, trying not to break down early in her visit.

 

When she’s sure she can handle herself, she pulls back as she fixes her mom’s head scarf with a smile she hopes doesn’t look as sad as it feels. She’s been in and out of the hospital for months now and it can still be a jarring experience to see her mom looking so helpless on a hospital bed. Her mother is the strongest woman she knows and it’s turning her world upside down to see her so _fragile_.

 

Clara fought to give her a good life, working countless jobs to put Lauren through school so she wouldn’t suffer the same fate. She showed strength when a rich businessman, who pursued her with promises of romance and happiness and who she didn’t realize was already married, got her pregnant and left without so much as a word. While he continued his picture-perfect life with his legitimate children, Lauren and her mother were barely able to keep their heads above water.

 

It’s not until Lauren started working for a prominent advertisement firm in Miami after her mom got her through college with her own blood, sweat, and tears, that Lauren started making a good amount of money, allowing the raven-haired girl to provide a comfortable life for herself and her mom.

 

And just when things were looking up, they were blasted with the news that Clara has stage four breast cancer. She hadn’t been able to take the necessary precautions and proper screenings in her younger age because she’s been too busy working and now Lauren feels blindsided. Her mom has been her sole source of strength and as much as she wants to break down and cry and curse whoever is in charge of this universe, she knows it’s her turn to be strong. She doesn’t know how long it’ll last, but she’s going to try for as long as she can.

 

Clara’s condition is what brought them to New York in the first place. Lauren left a good position in Miami because her mom had qualified for a new clinical trial that is being conducted by the researchers in Columbia University Medical Center and she’d immediately latched onto that opportunity, knowing that there aren’t very many clinical trials available for stage four cancer patients.

 

“Are they treating you right here, ma? I gave specific instructions about how they should take care of you,” she says with a small smile as she holds onto her mom’s hand, calloused and wrinkled from years of hard work.

 

“They’re treating me just fine, mija,” Clara replies, looking fondly at her daughter, trying to cherish as much of these moments with her while she still can. “How about you? Tell me more about your life in the big city.”

 

So Lauren indulges her mom’s request. She talks about her new job and how she’s found a great place to work. She’s met new friends and has reconnected with old ones. When her mom asks about her love life, she just smiles and shakes her head at her mom’s persistence. She’s been pushing the dark-haired girl to settle down once she finds the one and Lauren refuses to think about why her mom is so insistent on her finding someone to settle down with.

 

“You’re the only girl I need in my life, you know that right?” Lauren teases her mom and Clara looks at her with sad smiling eyes. Because that’s exactly what she fears – that Lauren won’t do well once she passes away because she refuses to find happiness for herself. It’s always been just her and Lauren for all of the girl’s life and she doesn’t want Lauren to be too sad for too long when she goes.

 

“Whatever you say, mija” she finally concedes.

 

Lauren stays in the hospital until the nurses have to practically drag her out and she leaves her mom with a kiss and a hug and a promise to come back like she always does. She walks out of the hospital with a heavy but hopeful heart, trying to be positive and strong – if not for herself, for her mother.

 

She pulls out her phone and texts Camila.

 

 

**Lauren: you still want me to come over?**

_Camila: yup_

 

 

Lauren rings the doorbell and smirks at the sight of Camila clad in only a crop top and small lace panties. The brunette grabs hold of her arm without a word and drags the girl to her bedroom, pushing the green-eyed girl to lie on her back on the bed.

 

“Well, hello to you too,” Lauren laughs as she sits up and takes off her jacket, only to be pushed back down by Camila as the brunette immediately goes on top of her, attacking her neck with hungry kisses.

 

“Shut up,” Camila says, her voice muffled by Lauren’s neck.

 

 

 

Lauren and Camila are sharing lazy kisses as they try to come down from their highs, with the dark-haired girl hovering over the brunette when the smaller breaks the comfortable silence. She pushes the girl back a little to look at her, her brown eyes blown and wide, her lips red and swollen from Lauren’s relentless mouth.

 

“What, is something wrong?” Lauren asks with a confused face.

 

Camila shakes her head and pulls Lauren by the back of her neck to another searing kiss before breaking it once again as she breathes out, “Sit on my face.”

 

Lauren’s breath hitches at the back of her throat and she’s brought back to her senses when she feels Camila’s warm hands running along her sides, urging her to move up. She sits up to straddle the girl and moves on shaky knees until her legs are on either side of Camila’s head. The brunette looks at her with blown, dark eyes and maintains eye contact as she grips the girl’s pale thighs and lowers the green-eyed girl onto her face.

 

“Fuck!” Lauren moans at the first contact her already-swollen sex makes onto the brunette’s eager mouth. Camila trails a broad lick from the green-eyed girl’s entrance to her clit, giving the stiff bud a light nip, which sends shocks up the dark-haired girl’s body. The smaller girl immerses herself in Lauren, devouring the girl’s folds and licking relentlessly as she breathes in the girl’s neatly trimmed, dark curls. Lauren moves one hand to grip onto Camila’s hair and guides the brunette right where she wants. “Fuck, baby. Right there, Oh!”

 

Camila lifts Lauren off of her for a few moments and takes the opportunity to catch her breath, leaving nips along the girl’s thighs instead. She brings a hand around the girl’s leg to rest on the taller girl’s clit and starts to rub slow circles over her nerves as she lowers the girl onto her mouth again. “Come on, baby. Ride my face,” she husks against Lauren’s core, her warm breath almost sending Lauren over the edge. She brings Lauren down onto her, entering her with her tongue and guiding the taller girl to move up and down on her stiffened muscle.

 

Lauren gets the hint and starts rocking against Camila’s face, rolling and swiveling her hips in a way that drives the brunette’s tongue deeper. Her movements become erratic and her breathing increases as the brunette continues to rub and pinch and tug at her clit while keeping her tongue inside Lauren, curling it on the upstroke. “Fuck – fuck –oh, I’m gonna –” Lauren cuts herself off with a guttural moan as she comes hard, her entire body trembling while the brunette continues to greedily lap at her center, helping her come down from her high, as Lauren rests her forehead on the headboard tiredly, chest heaving and legs weak.

 

Eventually, it becomes too much for Lauren and she grips Camila’s hair to keep her head still. “Fuck, hold on. I can’t –” she whimpers as she slowly gets off of the smaller girl, unceremoniously falling on her back beside Camila, who just smirks at the dark-haired girl’s state as she wipes her face, wet with Lauren’s arousal, with the back of her hand. The older girl’s eyes are lidded and her limbs look limp while she tries to catch her breath, her chest rising and falling heavily. She brings an arm over her eyes when she sees Camila watching her with a teasing smile. “I think you broke me,” she chuckles.

 

Camila laughs a full-bodied laugh, falling back on the bed herself. “I’ll let you recover then,” she teases.

 

 

 

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Lauren turns to her side and faces Camila with a dazed smile, “You’re good at that.”

 

“Why thank you,” Camila replies with a smile of her own, mirroring the dark-haired girl’s position and adjusting her body to face the girl.

 

She takes in Lauren’s features and finds herself being mesmerized by the girl’s sheer beauty. Her green eyes are never just green, showing vivid variations of emerald with specks of brown and yellow spattered around it, sometimes turning grey depending on her mood. Right now, they’re as bright as ever and it pulls Camila in the same way the sea withdraws back from the shore, helpless against the tide and the pull of the moon, despite venturing as far as it can along the seaside.

 

Her brown eyes trail down the slope of Lauren’s nose and roam over the freckles on her face, more noticeable now that her face is free of make up. Camila bites her lip when her eyes land on Lauren’s plump and swollen ones, already missing it between her own teeth.

 

Lauren is breathtakingly beautiful and Camila willingly gives up the air around her to keep staring.

 

The girl is everything Camila does to remind herself that she’s alive. She’s the toxin running through her system that reminds the brunette that she can feel. Her touch is like the night air that prickles at her skin, alighting her nerves. Lauren is the air that gets sucked out of her lungs, only to rush back in an exhilarating speed, reminding her to breathe. Even when she can’t. Even when at times, she doesn’t want to.

 

Lauren keeps her grounded - her personal sanctuary against the troubles of her own mind.

 

The thought scares Camila and she breaks their staring contest, willing her heart rate to slow down, trying to keep it in its confines instead of willingly giving itself up to someone she knows she’s bound to hurt. She knows she’s not ready and she probably never will be.

 

She leans forward and starts to kiss down Lauren’s jaw, trying to distract herself the only way she knows best. “So, where were you today?” she mumbles against Lauren’s skin, her kisses and warm breath immediately sending goose bumps where her mouth is latched on the girl’s skin.

 

Lauren hesitates for a bit, before she breathes out, “I was visiting my mom.”

 

“Oh, she’s in town?” the brunette asks, continuing her mouth’s path down the column of the girl’s throat, bringing a hand to lightly run up and down the green-eyed girl’s sides.

 

“No,” Lauren says with a shaky breath, her body easily responding to Camila’s ministrations, still sensitive from her previous high. “She’s in the hospital.”

 

Camila pauses in her movements and pulls back with concerned eyes, despite every cell in her body urging her to let it go and go back to pleasuring Lauren. That’s the foundation of their agreement after all. “I’m sorry,” she says sincerely.

 

Lauren meets her eyes and the brunette can see a flash of sadness taint her favorite shade of green. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” the dark-haired girl says after a few moments of getting lost in Camila’s eyes. She diverts her gaze and the brunette takes the hint, moving to straddle her instead.

 

“Well then, let’s do something else,” she smirks as she leans down and captures Lauren’s lips in a hungry kiss.

 

 

\--

 

 

Lauren throws a punch that easily gets caught by Zayn’s hands and she lets out a groan as the boy holds onto her arm and twists his body to propel her to the ground, her back landing on the mat with a loud thud.

 

Zayn lets out a laugh as he waits for the girl to stand up. “Little rusty there, Jauregui,” he says with a smirk.

 

Lauren stands up with a determined look and gets into position as they move around one another, gauging each other’s next move. Zayn quickly shuffles towards the raven-haired girl, throwing a rapid one-two punch combo that the girl easily blocks. When he surges forward with a roundhouse kick, Lauren catches his leg and sweeps his other leg with a hard kick, sending the boy hard on his back.

 

“Fuck,” Zayn groans as he rolls over slowly, trying to get back up.

 

“Apparently, not as rusty as you,” Lauren says with a smirk of her own.

 

Lauren and Zayn are catching up while doing their favorite pastime together - kickboxing. Their gear is minimal, only consisting of sparring headgear and kickboxing gloves. It’s late so they’re the only two people in the gym, and they’re taking advantage of it by setting up a few mats to create a makeshift dojo.

 

This is how they’d always released steam and pent up frustration when they attended university together – by punching and kicking it out on a few dummies and when they got over that – by punching and kicking it out on each other. Years of training one another, coupled with their hyper-competitive nature, have taught them to be very proficient in the sport, knowing how to hit hard enough to rile the other person up while having enough self-control to prevent themselves from hurting each other too much.

 

They’d meet up at the gym when Zayn was frustrated with his family pressuring him to take over the company or whenever Lauren needed to vent about her father. She’d learn who he was after snooping around her mom’s old stuff. Finding out about his identity only made Lauren resent him even more. She found out that he’s a big-shot businessman that owns a major hotel chain and he didn’t even bother sending a single penny for child support, opting to leave Lauren and her mom to fend for themselves while he indulged and spoiled his real family, who remains clueless about his indiscretions.

 

Lauren’s adrenaline is through the roof, the pain non-existent right now. She can feel the cells of her body thrumming with energy as she stands in the dojo, strands of her hair matted to her head as sweat glistens off of her toned midsection, most of her body exposed as she’s only wearing a sports bra and spandex shorts. She can feel her heart hammer against her chest as it tries to supply blood through her body, keeping up with her exertion, and her eyes focus on nothing but the boy in front of her, everything else, blurred in the background.

 

“You look happy,” Zayn quips as he fends off a series of quick punches from the raven-haired girl, managing to duck out of the corner he was being backed into.

 

“Am I not allowed to?” Lauren pants as she keeps a close eye on Zayn’s movements.

 

“Just wondering.”

 

Lauren smiles to herself when she sees an opening. She twists her body to deliver a spinning back kick but Zayn swiftly catches her leg. Lauren thinks quickly and pushes herself off the floor on her other foot, using that leg to kick the boy on his side, sending them both toppling to the ground. Zayn quickly scrambles to get on top of the girl, fighting the pain spreading through his side where the girl delivered a massive hit, and immediately straddling her. When he moves to lock her arm in an arm bar however, Lauren deftly twists her body out of the way, managing to kick the boy off of her.

 

They both rush to their feet, swiftly getting in the proper stance as they try to catch their breaths. “Well,” Lauren starts. “My mom’s recovering, I have a job I love, I’m getting paid well,” she lists the good things happening in her life as she moves around the boy, still trying to catch her breath. “I have new friends, and I have you guys back in my life. What’s not to love?” she shrugs.

 

“Uh-huh,” the boy responds skeptically. “Those things and the fact that you’re getting laid,” he adds with a wide grin.

 

Lauren lunges for him and aims low, tackling him to the mat and just as she’s about to unleash several punches, Zayn catches her arms and flips them over before he moves to get off of her.

 

He shakes his head as he laughs, “You’re so predictable, Lauren.”

 

“It’s none of your business, Malik,” she growls as she stands up.

 

“As long as you’re happy, bud,” he says while raising his arms in surrender.

 

They continue to spar for a few more moments, Lauren getting in a couple of hard jabs at Zayn’s face and smirking at the boy’s frustration – Zayn had always been the stronger of the two, but she was definitely faster, before they both decide to start packing up as it is nearing midnight.

 

They’re both on the floor, stuffing their duffel bags with their workout clothes when Lauren decides to speak.

 

“Her name’s Camila,” she keeps her eyes trained on her task while Zayn looks up, raising an eyebrow at Lauren’s sudden admission. The way the girl’s name falls from her lips, wrapped in Lauren’s tender tone, lets Zayn know this girl is something special. He smiles at his friend.

 

“Pretty name.”

 

“Even prettier girl.”

 

Zayn lets out a loud laugh as he throws his head back. “Wow, didn’t think you’d turned into a sap, Jauregui.”

 

“Shut up,” Lauren snaps lightheartedly. “This is why I don’t tell you anything,” she says as she throws a pair of gloves at the boy, who’s too busy laughing to fend off the incoming attack, causing him to get hit right in the face.

 

“Damn, Laur,” he whines. “Not the face. You know that’s my moneymaker.”

 

The raven-haired girl rolls her eyes as she gets ready to get up.

 

“Alright, alright,” he laughs as he tries to pull the girl back down. “Tell me about your girl.”

 

There’s a small blush that forms on the girl’s pale cheeks as she diverts her eyes. “Well she’s super smart, feisty, _bossy,_ determined,” Lauren starts to get into describing what she likes about the girl as her eyes light up and her hands move wildly in front of her, trying to keep up with all the things she wants to say. “And –and, she’s got this whole, like, thing where she acts like this cold-hearted bitch, but she’s actually genuinely kind. I’ve seen it in the way she treats her friends and even strangers,” she finishes with a small smile, thinking about all the times she’s witnessed Camila being kind, contrary to what her employees might gossip about her.

 

“Wow, your girlfriend sounds like the real deal.”

 

Lauren’s smile falters at that as she plays with the straps on her bag. “We’re not together,” she mutters.

 

“Oh.”

 

“It’s like a friends-with-benefits kind of thing,” she shrugs. “We’re good in bed together.”

 

Zayn scans his friend’s face, noting the way her brows are furrowed and her lips are pursed, her body stiff and her fingers curled tightly around her bag, as if her entire body is rejecting the nonchalance in her words. “Lo…” he starts to say and his tone irks Lauren more than anything.

 

“I’m not a kid, I know what I’m doing,” she huffs in irritation, quickly gathering her stuff as she rushes to get up.

 

“I hope so.”

 

 

\--

 

 

Camila sits in the backseat of her Audi A7 with a box of cake sitting on her lap, while Alfred sends her worried glances through the rearview mirror every once in a while. She wants to tell him that she’ll be okay, that he doesn’t need to fret so much, but even _she_ knows that’s a hard sell to make. It’s always difficult for her when she confronts parts of the accident head-on, but this is something she had been planning for a while and she really doesn’t want to back out now.

 

She looks out the window, noting how Manhattan’s tall skyscrapers give way to less populated areas as they move into one of the few, rare rural pockets of the city. She relishes at the sight of bare trees instead of glass buildings and basks in the low rumble of the car as the tires roll over dirt roads in place of paved cement.

 

The area surrounding her is a stark contrast to the bustling city life that she’s used to. In place of the never-ending crowd filling the streets and the endless traffic of cabs and cars and buses, Camila can only see rows and rows of cornfields, the occasional farmhouse every few acres, and nothing but the sky and trees beyond. It’s not as lively or loud or bright as central Manhattan, yet it bristles with a life of its own. Camila can imagine the kind of carefree life people out here must be able to live – only following the rise and fall of the sun as their main indicator of the ever-passing time, not having to worry about deadlines and the eternal pressure of pleasing the higher-ups.

 

She thinks about how people that live in this area probably see a night sky full of stars, instead of the bright lights of city structures, how the air they breathe isn’t filled with the toxins of pollution.

 

Camila takes a deep breath when a familiar small house comes to view as Alfred slows the car down to stop just outside of its driveway, bundles of overgrown weed peeking through the cracked cement. Her throat suddenly feels dry as she stares at the quaint house, looking very intimidating to Camila despite its small size. The air around her doesn’t seem as peaceful and carefree anymore, rather heavy and almost suffocating as she rubs her hands on her jeans, trying to keep her trembling knees from knocking the cake off her lap.

 

“Are you sure you you don’t want me to stay and wait, Miss Cabello?” Alfred’s gentle voice stirs Camila out of getting too stuck in her head and she looks at her driver through the rearview mirror with a smile.

 

“I’m sure, Alfred. I don’t want you to wait here and get bored. You can drive around and grab dinner. Just come get me in a couple hours or so. I’ll text you.”

 

“Alright, if you’re sure,” he says as he gets out of the car and rounds it to open Camila’s door, helping the girl to climb out without dropping the box.

 

“Thanks, I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

Camila takes a few moments to calm her nerves at the door, before finally raising a trembling hand to ring the doorbell, counting the time that passes by the thunderous beating of her heart. Her worries dispel like the morning fog giving way to the early light when she’s met with the wide smile of one Darryl Hampton.

 

“Camila! Oh my goodness,” the older man beams as he opens the screen door and holds his arms open for the girl. The brunette happily embraces him -  as well as she can anyway with the box in between them, and basks in the comfort of his soothing presence. His aura is something Camila had always admired, always light and happy, regardless of whatever life may have thrown his way.

 

Darryl Hampton is a retired truck driver that is now living on his pension and Social Security benefits. He has a long, slender built, towering over Camila at a little over six feet. His light brown skin contrasts against the powder white beard on his time-weathered face, spattered with sporadic blemishes and a noticeable elongated scar by his forehead. His eyes are of different colors, one a striking blend of hazel and green, the other, a dull, glazed light shade of grey, its irregular movements and inability to focus, a sign of its lack of use.

 

Camila pulls back and smiles widely at the man, merry and lively even after everything he’s been through. “Well I thought I’d drop by and greet you on your birthday,” she says while presenting the box in her hands.

 

Darryl laughs, a bellowing sound that comes deep from his belly, unfiltered and unadulterated as he moves to the side to let Camila inside. The brunette looks around once she’s through the doorway and can’t help but marvel at the sheer _life_ inside the house. Darryl lives on his own, but that didn’t stop him from decorating his house, small as it may be, in a way that matches his buoyant and lively personality. On his mantle are several framed photographs of his three children, all sporting various-colored graduation caps, next to them, his wedding picture with his late wife, his face the epitome of happiness and love as he looks at his wife with an adoration one only hears about in romance novels and cliché movies.

 

His living room has two antique couches, well-used and yet still giving off the impression that it has aged gracefully with the passage of time, much like the room that houses it. All around the living area are various mementos from the countless cities that Darryl has visited as a truck driver who constantly travelled across the expanse of mainland America – trinkets and beads and masquerade masks from the Crescent City, framed paintings from street artists in California, and even totem pole carvings and Native American pottery from when he visited tribal sites in his long drives. The souvenirs lie all around the place, orchestrated in such a way that makes the place look like an organized mess, a perfect representation of its owner.

 

“You are too sweet, darling” his voice booms across the air loudly, yet with the right amount of gentleness that makes it sound rather soothing. He moves to the kitchen to unpack the cake and place a couple slices on two plates for them to eat as Camila makes herself comfortable on one of the couches.

 

“Well I know all your children are living across the country, and so I thought I could keep you company on your special day,” she replies through the small doorway that separates the kitchen from the living area.

 

Darryl walks in with a tray containing two small plates, each with a slice of the cake the brunette brought, as well as two glasses of orange juice. “Well, I’d say that I definitely don’t mind,” he says with a smile as he sets the tray down and and hands Camila her plate, who takes it with a grateful smile. “So tell me, how have you been?”

 

The question is a loaded one. Camila knows what he’s asking but she’s never ready to answer this kind of inquiry. He means to say, _How have you been **since** the accident? _She diverts for a moment, giving the answer she knows in her heart he’s not really interested in.

 

“Well you know, very busy at work. It’s hard having business tycoons as parents and being a woman in power nowadays, but nothing I can’t handle,” she shrugs with an easy smile, trying to ease the man’s worries without having to go into detail.

 

“Ah, of course. You’ve always seemed like the go-getter type,” he chuckles, expecting the diversion but he figures he’ll try again in a little bit, for now, he’s glad to see that the girl looks much happier than the last time he’s seen her. “Well, that’s good to hear. I wanna you show you something!” he claps his hands excitedly as he moves to stand, leaving the room for a few moments and Camila is grateful at the reprieve.

 

“Now see, this is what I’ve been up to now that I have the time. Driving for all my life, I never got to do my real passion, you know?” he walks back in carrying a large canvas. Darryl was forced to retire earlier than planned after the accident. The crash had damaged his left eye permanently, leading him to lose complete vision in that eye. Coupled with his old age, the loss of depth perception led his supervisors to determine that he was no longer able to drive safely for long periods of time.

 

He was devastated with the news, at first. His wife was gone and all his kids live far away from home – driving was the only thing he had in his life. Eventually however, he learned to take the newfound freedom to do what he likes and rediscover old passions. He started working on his house, growing his own garden, and recently, getting back into painting – a passion he couldn’t pursue before because he had a family to feed at a very young age.

 

Now that he’s living comfortably on pension and some benefits, he’s found a new life.

 

Camila studies the painting and is in absolute awe at the raw emotion portrayed in it. It’s a black and white painting, but the intricate shading and detail that surround it makes it look more like a real-life photograph. The painting shows a self-portrait of Darryl – curved lines running along the wrinkles of his face and elaborate blending outlining the shape of his face, highlighting some areas more than others and making it seem like he’s under a varied set of lighting. There’s a minute, but noticeable curve of his lips, indicating a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Despite the lack of color, you can tell the difference between his two eyes. One of them has a lighter, somewhat duller shade, the small but distinct nuance showcasing the difference between the two orbs and Camila can’t help but focus on it.

 

“I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with my new self after the accident you know,” Darryl’s voice pulls Camila’s eyes from the painting. “I really struggled to cope with losing my sight on one eye and with what came with that, losing my job. It’s like I had lost a part of my identity. And then, I stood back and looked at what I had – what I _have_ in spite of everything you know?”

 

Camila watches him as he speaks with utter sincerity, looking at the portrait of himself as if he was reliving the day that he had painted it.

 

“I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself and thought long and hard about how lucky I am. I’m lucky to be alive and I’ve worked hard enough to secure myself a nice pension. Like I said before, now I actually have the time to go back on my passion. Looking at myself in that mirror and rediscovering myself in a new light,” he focuses his gaze on Camila. “I learned that I may have a lost a lot of things, but I also gained so much more, and I thought, I should document this somehow. To remind myself of the moment I realized that I was – that I _am_ lucky. Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of time with yourself. Talk to your mind, listen to your heart – have a moment of honesty with yourself, without the noise of the people around you and you’ll find what matters most, that peace you’re looking for.”

 

He pauses for a bit as he brings a gentle hand to wipe the tears that have started to fall on Camila’s cheeks. “I know that night still haunts all of us - _you_ probably more than anyone else because you tend to be hard on yourself. But, darling, you deserve some peace in that heart of yours. So take the time to appreciate yourself, okay?”

 

The brunette can only nod as she looks on with a watery smile.

 

They catch up a bit more after Camila recovers from that emotional (albeit one-sided) conversation, Darryl telling stories of his old travels and how he’s adjusted to his new life while Camila tells him how not much has changed for her, with their family business still her main and only priority at the moment.

 

“You know,” Darryl says with glint in his eyes. “You _do_ seem a bit happier than when I last saw you.”

 

There’s a light blush that forms on Camila’s cheeks as she diverts her eyes from the man’s prying ones, fiddling with her fingers when she answers. “Well you know, I’ve got my family and friends to keep me busy,” she shrugs.

 

“Uh huh,” he answers with a knowing smirk. “Any particular _special_ friends?”

 

Camila can feel the heat intensifying on her cheeks and she doesn’t know why she does, but she finds herself answering truthfully. Maybe it’s because of Darryl’s naturally soothing voice, pulling the truth out of her, or maybe it’s the comfort she feels with him, somehow feeling safe with their shared struggles.

 

“Maybe there is someone,” she says with a small smile. “It’s nothing serious though, but for now, I’m happy,” she says as she looks up and meets the man’s caring eyes.

 

“Well that’s the best news I’ve gotten in a while!” he exclaims excitedly, making Camila smile at his enthusiasm. “You deserve to be happy.” The brunette becomes teary-eyed once again and looks down on her lap.

 

“Hey,” he says gently as he puts one arm around her shoulders and uses the other to lift her chin up so she can meet his eyes. “You _deserve_ to be happy, sweetheart.” And the conviction in his voice and the sincerity in his eyes tug at Camila’s heart, making her believe even if just for a fleeting moment, that maybe she does deserve happiness.

 

Camila spends time at Darryl’s home for longer than she had intended, getting lost in the easy conversation and finding comfort in the man’s company. They bid their goodbyes when it’s nearing eleven at night and separate with promises to stay in contact. The brunette finds herself contemplating about the things Darryl had said to her with such great assuredness, his confident words racing in her mind on an endless loop, as Alfred drives her back to her apartment.

 

_You deserve to be happy._

 

 _Do I?_ she thinks to herself.

 

She doesn’t even understand why she survived of all people in the first place. There were others that had greater potential, their entire lives ahead of them. Their lives were taken, their livelihoods ruined, their future squandered, while she walked away with nothing but a few scars to show for it. It wasn’t her life that was drastically changed. Why does she get this second chance and not the others?

 

It’s like everyone else can see something in her that she can’t seem to see for herself. Everyone keeps telling her that she deserves happiness but she finds it hard to believe when all she can think about is how much she could have done more. _Helped_ more – _saved_ more people. She could have tried harder. Worked faster.

 

What would happiness even mean for her? What does that even entail?

 

Her mind conjures up images of green eyes and soft smiles and tender touches.

 

 _Lauren_.

 

She thinks about how the girl has unknowingly whittled through her defenses. How her mere presence and her touch had kept Camila grounded during those times when all she wanted to do was get lost in her thoughts, consumed by her mind.

 

She shakes her head at her thoughts. Her mind is a constant mess. She can’t even keep up with it herself and she firmly believes that no one deserves to be burdened with her troubles. Especially not Lauren, who’s full of life and passion. Camila is only going to be her ruin, and she’s let enough people down in this lifetime.

 

If Camila had only taken the time to truly look into her mind and into her heart, maybe she would have recognized that she’d started to do what Darryl had told her about. She would have seen that her heart, though damaged and struggling to keep beating tirelessly, is slowly healing – its shattered pieces being held together by the bits and pieces of Camila’s life that constantly give her hope, even if she doesn’t realize it: her family, Dinah, Ally – _Lauren._

 

If she’d only take the time to realize how much lighter she’d felt in the last couple weeks, maybe she’d recognize that she would have never kept anybody – outside of her family and Dinah and Ally – in her life for as long as she’d kept Lauren thus far, and _that_ alone is a sign that she’s letting herself heal.

 

She can’t help it when her thoughts take her back to that night, especially after seeing Darryl again after so long.

 

 

_Camila can’t breathe. Well, actually, she can. It’s just extremely fucking painful to do so._

_Every breath she takes is labored. It feels like all her airways are blocked as she inhales the clouds of dark smoke, the fumes infiltrating her system without her consent and sending a searing surge of pain straight into her lungs. Her chest feels like it’s on fire, in fact, with all the smoke surrounding her, she thinks it may be because it literally is._

_Her eyelids feel heavy as she struggles to peel them open, the action sending a brand new wave of discomfort on her face. The heat surrounding her dims her focus and she squints through the darkness to try to make something of her surroundings. She realizes she’s still in her car and when she looks to her right, her neck protesting at the movement, she sees the broken windshield of another car, the driver’s seat jarringly empty. She lifts a hand to her head when she feels a bout of pain rush in her temples and brings her hand down to inspect it. Sure enough, her fingers are red with blood._

_With shaky hands, Camila tries to slowly take off her seat belt, struggling to free herself from the contraption as it proves almost unmovable from the buckle. She fumbles for an army knife that she keeps in the glove compartment and pulls it out, slicing through her belt and finally giving her chest some reprieve from the confining restraint. She tucks the knife in her pocket and pushes her door open, rolling out of her car and ungracefully stumbling into the cement, finding out the hard way that her limbs are more injured than she originally thought as she catches herself on her hands, the rough cement digging painfully onto her bruised skin._

_As she crawls away from her car, she hears a couple cries for help and looks up to see that there is an another car (aside from the one without the driver) and a semi truck involved in the crash, the truck tipped over and lying on its right side. She ignores the protest of her body as she struggles to get up, limping towards the other car while she looks around desperately._

_They’re on their own, she thinks. They’re in the middle of a deserted intersection at night with no other life in sight. They’re on the verge of blowing up and the silence around them is deafening.  She can’t make out anybody in the other car as it’s crushed between her own car and the semi so she tries to see who’s inside the truck._

_As she approaches the truck, the strong pungent smell of gasoline filters through her nose and it only makes her try to move faster. She’s seen enough action movies to know what’s coming. She tries to rid herself of these thoughts and focuses on what’s in front of her._

_Camila spots an older African-American man still sat in his seat, almost dangling from it and only being held by his seatbelt, preventing him from toppling to the ground as the semi precariously lies on its side._

_She musters whatever strength remains in her body and climbs up to the top, using the grooves at the bottom of the truck and the tire to pull herself up so she’s sitting right on the driver’s door. She moves to the side a little so she can yank it open, holding it up on one hand, while using her other hand to shake the man awake._

_“Sir,” she coughs out as she tries to rouse him. There’s blood running alongside his head as he slowly tries flutter his eyes open. She notices that his left eye stays shut, swollen and bruised with blood trickling out of its sides. Her eyes catch on badge attached near his hip._

_Darryl Hampton._

_“Darryl,” the sound of his name spurs him out of his unconsciousness even more. “I’m going to need you to brace yourself, okay? Hold onto something and get your legs ready to catch yourself when I take off your seat belt,” she tries to tell him as gently as possible, yet with a hint of urgency._

_“Yeah, okay,” he croaks out. He spread out his arms to hold onto where he can while he lifts his legs slowly to settle on the middle console and the headrest of the passenger seat, wincing in pain at the movement but holding on anyway. Camila, with one hand still holding the door open, uses the other to cut through the man’s seat belt, freeing him from its restrictions. Darryl’s position is awkward and strained as he tries to stay upright in the turned over vehicle so Camila works fast. She rolls the window down and then closes the door so she can use both hands._

_“Here, give me your hand and we’ll get you through this window opening,” she says with a strained voice as she braces herself on top of the door, kneeling down and extending her arms to the man. The man nods and puts his arms through the open window, half holding onto Camila and half grabbing onto the sides of the door. When he uses his foot to push himself up however, they underestimate just how much he weighs (or just as probable, how weakened they both are from the accident) and he loses his footing, abruptly falling down and slipping from Camila’s grasp as he lands with a thud on his side, the sound of glass crunching filling the air._

_“Fuck!” Camila hisses as she’s dragged down and the movement causes her upper left chest to catch on a shard of glass, gashing straight through her shirt and slashing her skin, causing a deep, ragged cut to form on her chest and fresh blood to ooze out. She barely manages to catch herself on the door so she doesn’t fall all the way through the open window. She rolls on her back in pain and puts a hand on her chest, wincing in pain. “Are you okay, sir?!” she yells out while she tries to re-gather her strength._

_“Yeah,” the man answers in a gruff voice. She hears shuffling beneath her and moves to get in position again. This time, the man is almost fully stood up, his feet settled on the passenger side door instead of the seat so he’s more stable. Camila reaches down and bears the pain in her chest when the movement causes the cut on her skin to get just the tiny bit wider. “Okay, let’s try again.”_

_They connect arms, and with the strength left in her, she pulls up with all her might as she braces both feet down on the door. Her labor is aided by Darryl’s effort to climb out of the window and they find themselves stumbling onto the top. “We have to get off this real quick” Camila huffs, beginning to climb down from the top, with Darryl close behind._

_They put an arm over one another’s shoulders as they limp together away from the crash site, before Camila finally lets go and the man falls on his back on the side of the road, exhaustion filling his battered features. “Call 911,” she says as she pulls out her phone and dials the emergency line, handing it over to the man afterwards. “I’m gonna go see if I can find the others,” she says without waiting for a response and limping back to the scene._

_Her clothes are soaked in gasoline, her skin littered with cuts and covered with grime and soot, and her mind is muddled as she stumbles back, but all she can focus on is the pounding of her own heart in her ears. It sounds absolutely earsplitting against the silence around her. There is no one around and she doesn’t know if she’ll be enough to save the others._

_She prays for the time she knows she doesn’t have as she lugs her tired bones back to the site._

Camila wipes the tears from her face as she takes a shaky breath to calm herself as she recalls the accident, her visit and talk with Darryl prompting a vivid recollection of the night that has plagued her dreams since it happened.

 

She closes her eyes as she tries to compose herself and leans forward, gently tapping Alfred on his shoulder. “Hey, can you actually take me Lauren’s?” she asks softly as the man briefly meets her eyes through the rear-view mirror and gives her a slight nod.

 

“Sure thing, Miss Cabello,” he says with a small smile as he maneuvers the car to make a swift U-turn while Camila leans back on her seat, feeling like she can breathe again at the thought of seeing the green-eyed girl.

 

 

 

***  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
>  
> 
> I promise there won’t be smut in every chapter. I meant for half of them to only be short, fade out scenes to establish their fwb relationship but then I ended up writing in the detail and it’s just aasdfgf. So yeah, there is more to the plot.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, feel free to leave a vote/comment/feedback if you feel like it. Tell me what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys their holidays/break!
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox


	4. Part Four

 

Camila is standing outside of Lauren’s apartment door and she has half a mind to just turn around and go back home. She hadn’t texted or called or sent a pigeon or really given any form of a heads-up to the green-eyed girl that she’d be coming over and she was wracking her tired brain for a plausible reason for showing up unannounced other than, _my head is being extra difficult tonight and I only ever seem to calm down when I’m with you, so is it okay for me to stay over? Sex is definitely on the table if that helps you make up your mind._

She breathes out a frustrated sigh and looks around the hallway for a sign of what she should do, but alas, it’s almost midnight and she’s met with nothing but an eerie silence so she figures she might as well go for it. She’d sent Alfred home already anyway and she didn’t want to make him have to come back for the sole reason that she’s a coward.

 

The brunette knocks on the door and fights the urge to run down the hall while she stands as calmly as she can, waiting in tense anticipation. The door opens and she’s met with a ruffled-looking Lauren.

 

The green-eyed girl’s dark locks are barely contained in an unruly bun, strands of her midnight tresses hanging defiantly off the side of her face, which is covered with patches of what Camila hopes is flour, or powdered sugar - anything but cocaine really. She’s wearing a long, white apron that stops mid-thigh - giving the illusion that she’s not wearing anything underneath - with red lettering that says “BAE WATCH” on its front and Camila smiles at how _Lauren_ she looks right now.

 

Her smile quickly vanishes, however, when she spots an angry-looking bruise surrounding the girl’s left eye in a half-crescent moon-like shape and she can see a small cut on the girl’s upper lip, one the brunette knows she didn’t get from Camila’s over-eager mouth.

 

“Holy shit, Laur,” the brunette exclaims as she instinctively brings a hand to Lauren’s face, her slender fingers delicately tracing the bruise, her countenance showing the worry that she feels. Lauren’s heart flutters at the gesture, momentarily forgetting that the bruise is fresh and sensitive. “What the hell happened to your face?”

 

Lauren winces at the touch, her pain receptors finally catching up to her distracted brain, which makes the brunette pull back hesitantly, her fingers hovering above the girl’s face. The dark-haired girl immediately misses the touch though, even if it was hurting her. Maybe she should have paid more attention to that feeling – craving Camila’s touch even when it wasn’t good for her.

 

But right now, she’s distracted by the brunette’s all-encompassing presence, her familiar scent that’s a mix of vanilla, cinnamon, and something distinctively _Camila_ and she can’t think straight.  “Oh, that’s nothing,” she dismisses the girl’s worries, which only makes the brunette crease her brows even more. “That was just Zayn,” she says as she hurries back to the kitchen, frantically pulling out another set of burned cookies from the oven before she sets off the smoke alarm for the third time that night.

 

Camila follows with furrowed brows and looks around the kitchen with a raised brow. There are baking utensils everywhere – a couple baking sheets haphazardly strewn across the countertop by the sink, measuring cups with remnants of various ingredients, a mixer that has something that she guesses is supposed to be some type of dough, and more random kitchenware littering the area.

 

“Ugh! Why is this so hard?” the green-eyed girl groans as she dumps the inedible cookies in the trash and reads over the website pulled up on her iPad that’s propped on a stand on the breakfast table, its once-pristine glass now coated in fingerprints of various ingredients – cocoa, flour, vanilla – while Lauren tries to find where she had erred for the third time that night.

 

The first time she tried a batch, she had neglected to check her oven’s temperature with a separate thermometer, something she hadn’t thought was necessary. She had naively trusted her oven’s built-in temp reader to be accurate, only to be betrayed later by the lying bastard and found out the hard way that the oven had been hotter than the what the deviant thermometer said it was, easily scorching the cookies she’d worked so hard on.

 

The second time around, she’d misread a couple numbers on the ingredients list and put a bit more of cocoa than intended and not enough leavener, resulting in something that was more like candy than cookie. Now that she thinks about it, even if she hadn’t burned the first batch, if she was using the same measurements on the first set that she had used on her second, they would have probably not been edible either way. The point is, baking is hard and Lauren Jauregui is not up for the job.

 

Camila is torn between her concern for Lauren’s face and holding in her laugh at the girl’s failed attempts to make one of the simplest things you could possibly throw in an oven. Her concern eventually wins out, however, as it seem to always happen when it comes to the green-eyed girl. “Who the hell is Zayn?” _And why is he damaging your beautiful face?_

“Zayn’s a friend,” she mutters as she remains crouched and concentrated on the recipe. Maybe fourth time’s a charm? “We were kickboxing, you should see _his_ face,” she says with a smirk.

 

Camila rolls her eyes and sets her bag down, removing her jacket and placing it on the back of the raven-haired girl’s couch before walking to the kitchen and pulling her own hair up in a messy bun as she stands beside Lauren, eyeing the recipe and Lauren’s confused face back-and-forth several times before she gets tired of it and huffs, “Okay, this is sad.”

 

“What is?”

 

“This is, like, the simplest recipe for chocolate chip cookies, Laur,” Camila says, biting her lip to stop her growing smile. She meets affronted green eyes as the girl beside her stands up to her full height, crossing her arms in front of her when she retorts.

 

“Okay, Martha Stewart,” she quips with a raised eyebrow. “I suppose _you_ can do better.”

 

Camila wants to say that yes, actually, anyone with working eyes and reading comprehension could probably do better, but the dark-haired girl is flustered enough so she keeps that particular comment to herself. “Well, yeah,” she says with a shrug. “Why are you even baking at –” she looks at the time on the oven and sees that it’s ten till midnight. “midnight?”

 

At Camila’s question, Lauren visibly deflates. Her posture shrinks and a pout forms on those luscious lips as she meets the brunette’s curious gaze with a forlorn look. “There’s this um – fundraising thing I have to attend tomorrow and we’re only supposed to bring ‘home-made’ baked goods,” she makes air quotations with powdery fingers and her lip is curled to show her disapproval of the idea. “- which to be honest, is a liability case waiting to happen, but hey, whatever the organizers want,” she puts up her hands, as if in surrender.

 

Camila smiles at the girl’s ramblings and raises an eyebrow in question. “Fundraiser? Is this related to the company? Why didn’t I know about it?”

 

“Oh no,” the girl shakes her head, the strands flinging wildly on her head as she does so. “This is like a fundraiser I’ve been attending the last couple years. I try to find a related event in my area regardless of where I am. It’s like a personal thing,” she mutters the last part.

 

“And you need to bring your own baked goods?”

 

She nods her head exaggeratedly in affirmation and Camila can’t help but be endeared by her eager responses. “Yeah, well I signed up to bring food, but they insisted it be homemade and I’ve been to enough of these things to know how they work,” she responds with wide eyes, as if she’s about to divulge the secret of the universe to Camila.

 

“They’re basically ran by these passive-aggressive and hyper-competitive soccer moms who bring these outrageous home-made baked goods and –” she makes a grand gesture with her hands as she tries to convey how much these soccer moms apparently bake “- and they’re always like fake-humble about it. _Oh Susan, I’m sorry. I really didn’t have much time to bake all week. I just put this together last night. Have a sample of my chocolate soufflé with an added secret ingredient of teardrops from yaks in Tibet_ ,” and Camila bursts out laughing from the seriousness in Lauren’s voice as she does an impression of what she figures a soccer mom would sound like.

 

“I’m being absolutely serious, Camila!” she says in exasperation. “These moms are ruthless and they will eat you alive, and I just want to make something and show off for once you know? I suck at baking,” she says dejectedly, going back to her pouting stance, plump lips out and eyes widened for full effect.

 

Camila resists the urge to kiss it away as she makes a show of looking around the mess, “Well it’s not looking great so far,” she can’t help but tease the girl.

 

“Okay, if you’re not here to help then you c-”

 

“Relax, babe” Camila says as she places a gentle hand on Lauren’s arm, preventing her from gesticulating wildly again. She’s had enough flour flung her way. “I’m just teasing, I’ll help you.”

 

Lauren raises a skeptical eyebrow, a smirk forming on her lips. “Princess Camila of the Cabello Kingdom knows how to do hard labor?” she fake-gasps, putting her hand on her chest for an added dramatic flair.

 

Camila rolls her eyes and turns off the iPad, taking it off the stand and putting it away somewhere in the living room. She returns to the kitchen with a wide smile and meets Lauren’s curious gaze. “You won’t be needing a recipe, just let the master handle things,” she winks at the dark-haired girl who continues to watch her with amusement as she starts gathering the tools she needs on one side and clearing another part of the countertop. “You want to wow at this event? I got you, babe. We’re gonna make some black forest muffin cakes that will put all the soccer mom cookies to shame!” she exclaims dramatically.

 

“Okay, wait,” Lauren says as she rummages through a kitchen drawer, taking out an assortment of things before getting out another white apron and holding it out for Camila to see. “You need one of these,” she says with a wide smile.

 

The apron has black lettering that says “May the forks be with you,” as well as a cartoon of an animated fork cloaked in _Star Wars_ gear and where does she even get these things?

 

“Well, can’t forget that,” Camila smiles at Lauren’s childlike eagerness when she moves towards Camila to put it on her. “I’m starting to think you only ever try to cook so you can wear these aprons.”

 

Lauren moves in front of her and gently puts the apron on Camila, guiding the brunette’s head through the opening slowly so it won’t mess up the girl’s bun. When the brunette looks up, her face is inches from the green-eyed girl and she holds her breath as the taller girls slides her hands from her neck, her slender fingers grazing her skin, down to her sides and around her waist to tie the apron in the back, leaving almost nothing in between their bodies. “You trying to know all my secrets, Cabello?” she whispers against Camila’s lips. “Coz you’re gonna have to work for those.”

 

The green-eyed girl smirks and separates their bodies, allowing the brown-eyed girl to breathe once again. “Now, show me how it’s done in the kitchen, Chef Camila,” the raven-haired girl says teasingly after doing a mock bow. Camila shakes her head in amusement and starts to work around the kitchen, with Lauren following her around and assisting when she can.

 

The brunette actually quite enjoys working in the kitchen. It was one of the few ways she would bond and spend time with her mother whenever she had the rare opportunity to not be in the office when the brunette was younger. Her mom taught her different dishes that ranged from Cuban and Mexican foods to a variety of European pastries.

 

Camila remembers watching with childlike wonder, following her mother’s every move as she gracefully but efficiently moved about the kitchen, tending to one dish while watching another across the room. Camila had likened her mom to that of some sort of cooking superhero, knowing how to put the right amount of ingredients at the right time without ever consulting a recipe, resulting in flawless dishes anyway that the brunette longed to learn to perfection.

 

It’s one of her skills she cherishes not only for its great convenience and utility to her life, but because of the memories she associates with it. it’s a reminder to her that as distant and disconnected as she may feel from her parents nowadays, there was a time when they did bond like a real family.

 

When the last batch of muffins is in the oven and the timer has been set, Lauren moves to start cleaning up the mess when she gets an idea she can’t resist. She takes a handful of flour in each hand, cupping her fingers over the powdery substance as she scoops up as much as she can and moving stealthily behind the brunette, who’s standing by the counter top and reading something on her phone.

 

“Hey, Camz,” she says, trying to contain the mirth in her tone.

 

“Yeah, what’s u-” she turns around and is met with a surge of white, powdery clouds in her face when Lauren claps her hands together in front of her and she can hear the melodic, raspy laugh of the raven-haired behind the veil of flour.

 

“You little-,” Camila quickly grabs an egg from the carton and immediately runs after the green-eyed girl who squeals in surprise when she sees the brunette going after her at a surprisingly quick speed.

 

“No, Camila!” she yells as she tries to move around the kitchen furniture. “That is so much worse than flour,” she tries to reason with the girl who is threatening to lurch the raw egg towards her as she stalks her with a smirk.

 

“Should’ve thought of that when you declared this war, Jauregui.” She makes a juking movement that fools the dark-haired girl into swerving right into her path and even when Lauren turns around to try to minimize the damage, the brunette wraps one arm around the girl’s waist as she smashes the egg on top of her head with the other, the yellow viscous substance running down the girl’s dark locks as Camila leans her head forward in between Lauren’s shoulder blades, her laughter muffled by Lauren’s shirt.

 

The green-eyed girl resigns to her fate with a smile and she slowly turns around in the girl’s arms, who’s biting her lip to keep her laughter in at the state Lauren is in. The taller girl then cups the brunette’s face with both hands and leans forward, aiming for Camila’s lips at first but when she sees the girl flutter her eyes shut and part her mouth for Lauren, she changes course and moves to glide her egg-stained cheek against Camila’s.

 

“Lo!” Camila squeals as she tries to get away while the girl just tightens her hold on the girl, moving her arms to close around the younger girl’s waist and pushing her head by the smaller girl’s neck as she tries to get as much of the egg to rub off on Camila.

 

“You got a little something on you, Camz,” she laughs against the girl’s skin but Camila pulls back and looks at the taller girl with a glint in her eyes while holding Lauren by the shoulders, whose arms are still around her waist. “What?”

 

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that.”

 

“Called you wha- oh, Camz?” she says with a confused face. “I’ve been calling you that in my head for a while. Do you not like it?”

 

“No no, it’s not that,” the girl gives a small smile. “It’s just different. People usually call me Mila.”

 

“Well then, I’m claiming ‘Camz.’ No one else gets to call you that. Everyone else can stick to ‘Mila.’”

 

“Alright Ms. Possessive.”

 

“Now, where were we?” Lauren dives back into Camila’s neck and the girl shrieks and squirms, slipping on the flour-covered floor and dragging both of them onto the ground. The taller girl manages to reach out her arms just in time to catch them, bearing most of the fall on her hands, causing her to yelp in pain as the fall exacerbates the soreness that was brought on her arms from her sparring session with Zayn.

 

“Ow, fuck!” the raven-haired girl exclaims as she rolls over on her back onto the messy kitchen floor, way past the point of caring about her clothes.

 

“Oh shit, Lo. Are you okay?” the brunette rushes to get up on her knees by Lauren as she tucks a stray brown lock behind her ear before using both hands to cradle the raven-haired girl’s arm, which she’s clutching onto painfully. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” she says worriedly as she bites her lip.

 

The green-eyed girl smiles through her pain as she shakes her head, strands of dark locks swaying about her face in the movement, which Camila gently pushes away from her face. “No, no. This isn’t just from the fall. I’d already hurt my wrist from kickboxing with Zayn.”

 

Camila scrunches up her face at the reminder and helps the taller girl to sit up. “Well, why don’t you put some ice on it while I try to clean up here?”

 

“I’m okay, really. It’s jus-”

 

“Lauren.”

 

“Yes, boss.” Lauren mock-salutes the girl as she gingerly gets up, careful not to put weight on her wrist and moves to the fridge to get some frozen peas while the brunette just shakes her head and begins to clean up the kitchen. After a few minutes, the timer for the last batch goes off and they work together to pack the muffins to be ready for tomorrow’s event.

 

“Okay, now we shower,” Lauren says as she looks at Camila with a cheeky smile.

 

The brunette raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms across her chest. “We?”

 

“Yup,” the taller girl moves to gently grab one of Camila’s arms, uncrossing them in the process, as she pulls the girl towards her bedroom. “Water conservation and all that.” The smaller girl follows without much protest and takes the time to admire the wondrous ass in front of her.

 

When they get in the bathroom, the playful mood shifts. An electrifying tension settles over them like a fog as they start to undress one another, keeping their eyes on each other’s and never straying any lower.

 

Camila goes in the shower first with Lauren staying behind her as she gets under the stream, beads of water cascading down her olive skin, following the curves of her spine and down the bend of her ass. After Camila sufficiently wets her hair, the taller girl reaches around her to get the bottle of shampoo, putting some on her hands, and gently massaging the brunette’s scalp with her slim fingers.

 

Lauren moves the girl away from the stream of water as she proceeds to spread body wash over the girl’s smooth, silky skin, turning her around so she can face and maintaining eye contact as her hands glide over the younger girl’s lithe body.

 

Camila feels a tug in her chest at the way Lauren handles her body with so much tenderness. Her touch is delicate and careful, reverent and just so _soft_ and it’s overwhelming her in a way she didn’t think was possible. It amazes her how Lauren so easily conveys how much she cares through the simplest touch. She turns around to get back under the water under the guise of washing herself off, hoping that the raven-haired girl wouldn’t notice the tears filling up her eyes.

 

Camila feels the taller girl move behind her and wrap her long, slender arms around her waist, her fingers splayed on the brunette’s toned, flat stomach as she turns her head to mumble against her brown locks. “You okay?”

 

The smaller girl opts to nod her head in the slightest, afraid that her voice would crack with the emotion coursing through her. One of the things she’d always admired about Lauren is her incredible insight into people’s emotions. She always knows when to be persistent and when to pull back. In this case, she didn’t pry any further, sensing that Camila didn’t want to talk about it, so she merely squeezes the brunette in her arms meaningfully, trying to convey her concern through her embrace – the physical touch familiar to them both as it’s the way they’ve always effectively communicated.

 

They switch places and Camila proceeds to do the same for Lauren, washing her hair and her body, while maintaining eye contact the entire time. They don’t go any further than a few stray hands every once in a while, eliciting a delicious moan from both of them, but Camila can’t remember of a time when she was doing anything else more intimate. The way Lauren holds her gaze as her hands wander along her creamy, alabaster skin - it’s mesmerizing and it sets her entire body alight, as if her emerald eyes can look into her soul and read into every thought running in her mind.

 

After a few more minutes in the shower, they wordlessly get out and dry themselves, Lauren wrapping Camila in a towel first before getting one for herself. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed by the brunette and she wonders if Lauren is even real.

 

The raven-haired girl lends the brunette some clothes to sleep in and is getting the bed ready when Camila’s timid voice fills the room.

 

“Um – I’m not, I’m not yet sleepy,” she says while cringing internally at her words. _Okay, what exactly do you want Lauren to do about it, idiot? She’s probably exhausted._ She rolls her eyes at herself.

“Okay, well, what do you suggest we do?” the green-eyed girl easily replies, pausing in her actions of untucking the duvet. Camila glances at her night clock and notes that it’s almost two in the morning and she figures she probably shouldn’t drag Lauren into her mess. And she doesn’t really think sex is on the table right now – somehow, it doesn’t feel right after what they shared in the shower.

 

“Oh no, you should go ahead and sleep,” she replies sheepishly. “You look tired, I just mean that I’ll probably just hang in your living room for a bit, watch some TV till I pass out.”

 

“No, it’s cool,” the raven-haired girl responds, already dropping the duvet and moving towards Camila, taking hold of her hand and leading her back outside to the living room. “I need to catch up on _Stranger Things_ anyway. Unless you got a show you wanna watch,” she looks back at Camila who’s smiling at how effortless it is for the girl to put her at ease.

 

“Nah, I’m good with what you want to watch.”

 

“Alright then, let’s go!”

 

 

 

Lauren and Camila are cuddled up on the couch and the raven-haired girl falls asleep within the first ten minutes. The brunette smiles at how the girl had tried to stay awake for her sake, before exhaustion finally took over and she succumbed to sleep.

 

Camila got through two episodes before she dozed off herself, her head falling softly against Lauren’s shoulder as the brunette snuggles closer into the taller girl’s neck. The raven-haired girl adjusts her body in her sleep, draping an arm over the other girl’s shoulder and resting her her own head on top of Camila’s as they both drift into sleep.

 

Lauren stirs awake when she feels her phone buzzing on the couch beside her and she blindly shuts off the reminder for the fundraiser as she keeps her eyes closed for a few more moments. She slowly peels her eyes open and looks down to see that she and Camila had moved sometime during the night to lie along the length of the couch, with the brunette trapped between her body and the back of the couch. She smiles at the messy brown head of hair tucked into her neck, the younger girl’s arm snaked underneath her own shirt, her fingers feeling warm against her skin. The other girl’s legs are tangled with hers and she can’t feel her own under the weight of the girl’s limbs.

 

She savors the tranquility of the moment for several minutes before she gently brings an arm around to gently nudge Camila awake. “Camz,” she whispers against the brown locks near her face. “Wake up, we gotta be at the venue early to set up.”

 

“No,” her voice is muffled against the green-eyed girl’s neck but its early morning rasp is still very much noticeable. Lauren laughs lightly, the vibrations from her chest traveling to the girl’s head, who stubbornly buries her face further into crook of the taller girl’s neck. “Ugh, fine.” She reluctantly sits up, freeing Lauren’s limbs from her hold and stretches out, her shirt riding up and exposing her toned midsection.

 

After getting over watching Camila’s muscles contract with the movement, Lauren herself gets up as well and heads to the kitchen. “I’m gonna check up on the food and make sure everything’s packed. You can go ahead and wash up.”

 

“Sure,” the brunette yawns and makes her way to the girl’s bedroom, preferring her en-suite over her other bathroom. She puts up her locks in a loose bun and dips her face near the sink, cupping her hands under the stream of water falling from the faucet and splashing her face to rouse her senses up.

 

The action is enough to wake her up and she stares at her reflection, furrowing her brows when she finally clears the sleepiness from her mind and realizes she can only remember one nightmare during the night, and it was one not heavy enough to wind her up in a cold sweat. And she didn’t even have sex. The only times she’s able to avoid waking up in a cold sweat, if she’s even afforded the chance to fall asleep at all, is when the exhaustion of the work day combined with her post-coital haze is enough to shut down her body for the few, meager hours of sleep she gets.

 

She quickly finishes washing up and actively refuses to analyze why she can only seem to find enough rest when she’s with the green-eyed girl. She had initially thought that it was the sex. It was always the sex that helped her get some sleep. It was the main reason she’d go out most nights and seek that type of intimacy in strangers. She’d relish and hang onto that human connection, even if it were temporary and nonbinding. She’d bask in it and use it to calm her ever-racing mind, and then proceed to move on from it the next morning. It was the best part of one-night stands. She’d get what she craves and needs – without the daunting task of opening up to anyone and letting them see your demons.

 

But now, she’s learning that all it’s taking is Lauren. Her passion, her touch, the way she pays attention to Camila’s every minute yearning, every subtle want, like she’s perfectly attuned to Camila’s body, catering to the way the brunette arches towards her touch – knowing just what she needs without the brunette ever having to voice it out.

                                                                                                                          

It’s startling and absolutely frightening to Camila. She doesn’t know if she can live with this type of dependency. Lauren is breaking down her walls with ease, without a second effort and Camila feels guilty that she might be letting her. That she might want this. Someone who would be willing to stay. That she might want someone after being resolute in the fact that she didn’t deserve happiness and should therefore never look for it.

 

She knows she should probably end it. That is the agreement after all, to end it whenever either of them develops even the _slightest_ hint of feelings. It was _her_ own rule. The brunette knows it won’t end well, not when she’s not ready to confront her problems just yet. She’ll only be an unnecessary burden to the older girl.

 

“Hey,” the familiar rasp floats through the air and bounces against the tiles of the bathroom as the raven-haired girl saunters into the room, picking up her toothbrush and squeezing some toothpaste onto it. “You almost ready?” she answers just before she starts brushing her teeth next to the girl.

 

She meets brown eyes on the mirror and immediately sidles up close to the brunette, snaking her hand underneath the smaller girl’s shirt, resting her hand on the warm skin beneath and rubbing her back soothingly.

 

It’s one of the things Camila had instantly noticed about the green-eyed girl - her affinity to touch - and it’s a characteristic she absolutely adores. The girl’s touch is warm and comforting and seems to carry a depth the brunette can’t seem to comprehend. As if the raven-haired girl is able to relay her entire essence through something as simple as touch, able to calm Camila down by the small physical connection, as if she could direct her soothing thoughts from her brain through the wires in her body and out of her fingertips – transmitting whatever it is about Lauren that relaxes Camila directly onto her skin.

 

Camila _knows_ she should stop this while it’s early, while the damage to either one of them isn’t as bad as it can be yet. She knows this. But with those captivating green eyes on hers, and the touch that always seems to ground her, she’s feels powerless against her mind and body’s desires.

 

She feels like being selfish, so she savors it while she can.

 

“Yeah, let me just get dressed and we can go.”

 

\--

 

Lauren was right about the soccer moms, Camila notes – nailed it on the fucking dot. It’s taking a lot of self-control on her part to not butt in the eyeroll-inducing conversation she could hear from where she and Lauren are setting up their muffin cakes from two tables over.

 

She swears one of the moms actually brought a tray of _soufflés_ and that’s not even the worse of it. They all seem like they’re best friends on the outside, talking loudly and merrily about their upper middle-class suburban lives, discussing the different awards their children have received in school or who’s hosting the next mixer, the other moms feigning interest until it gets to be their turn to boast about their picture-perfect lives.

 

It’s fascinating to see really – like watching the lives of those who peaked in high school and seeing how they grew up to be, what kind of people they turned out to be. Did they mature? Stay exactly the same? For some of these moms, there doesn’t seem to be a difference from their high school years. There’s an alpha mom, the one that everyone seems to listen to and with whom people are quick to agree, who is also usually always flanked with two other moms that serve as her hype-women, the first ones to back the alpha. And then there’s the rest of the moms, who nod along with artfully-plastered wide smiles to everything that alpha mom says and then moves onto to make poorly-disguised looks of disapproval to one another when alpha mom isn’t looking.

 

Camila and Lauren on the other hand are trading amused glances at one another while simultaneously setting their table up, Lauren twirling her finger near her head in a universal sign for, _these people are crazy._

 

 

“Thanks for this again by the way,” Lauren sends the brunette a small, shy smile, so different from her outgoing personality that it tugs at Camila’s heart.

 

“It’s no problem, it was hard watching you struggle,” the brunette quips while the girl beside her just rolls her eyes lightheartedly.

 

The fundraiser event, Camila learns, is one that is intended to raise money for breast cancer research and she can’t help but notice how invested the raven-haired girl is beside her. She didn’t even realize the girl was decked out in breast cancer awareness gear until she got a good look at her after they’ve set up. The older Latina is wearing a pink, silk scarf around her neck, a windbreaker with the pink ribbon emblem sewed meticulously on the upper left side, and a pink shirt underneath. Her socks, which tucks her joggers in tightly, are bright pink as well.

 

She wants to ask. Lauren said the fundraiser was a personal thing and the brunette wonders just how personal this whole thing is to the raven-haired girl. Yet she fights the overwhelming urge to show that she cares, to verbalize her concern because that somehow makes it real. If she never talks about it, then it doesn’t have to be real.

 

Camila bristles with curiosity as she watches the girl totally immerse herself in selling their goods, making use of her advertising skills as she charms and attracts dozens of customers towards their table, marketing their muffins as if they’re the best things that have happened on this Earth since sliced bread.

 

And everyone that comes along buys it. They buy Lauren’s entire sales act, initially magnetized by her charisma and eventually satisfied by the goods themselves, coming back for more and spreading the word. She’s enchanting, that much is clear even to strangers, even to people who are only seeing a glimpse of the girl she knows. The muffins are selling so well that they’re drawing all kinds of attraction. The soccer moms on the other tables are sending them subtle glares, although Camila figures they’re not that subtle after all if she can sense them. She swears she actually sees one of them storm off with a batch of soufflés, opting to walking around with their baked goods instead of staying at the table, seeing as Lauren and Camila have accidentally monopolized all the customers in that area.

 

Their slot at the table had been booked for the entire day, but because of the massive success of their muffins, they quickly sold out by midday, freeing the rest of their afternoon. The fundraiser is set up within some sort of carnival fair setting, the organizers having talked with the fair owners about getting a portion of the proceeds to be donated to the organization and allowing them to set up their bake sale for the fair go-ers. There are a multitude of brightly-colored rides and countless game stands, vendors selling anything from cotton candy to funnel cakes and the whole atmosphere is bursting with joy and life.

 

Lauren and Camila pack up their table and the raven-haired girl doesn’t miss a beat in dragging the brunette to enjoy some of games and foods and rides that the fair offers. They walk around with wide eyes and even wider smiles, childlike wonder adorning their faces, neither of them having had much time in recent years to have much fun – Lauren being preoccupied with taking care of her mother and Camila always busy with their business.

 

“Okay, as thanks to your incredible baking skills,” Camila turns to Lauren with a kinked eyebrow. “I’m going to win you something. Which prize do you want, Camz?”

 

“Wow, you sound fairly confident that you’ll be able to get me _anything_ I want,” the brunette answers with a teasing smile.

 

“You underestimate my skills, Cabello.”

 

“You know these games are rigged, right? They’re designed to look easy but are actually near impossible to win.”

 

The raven-haired girl shakes her head as she clicks her tongue in mock disappointment, though the glint in her bright green eyes lets the brunette know that she’s merely teasing. “I’m starting to get offended with how much you doubt me, Camz. Come on, just tell me which prize you want that’s available here, and I will win it for you. That’s a promise.”

 

“Okay, we’ll see about that,” the younger Latina answers while looking around at the different games and prizes surrounding them. Her eyes spot a young kid hugging an oversized koala bear, his small arms barely able to hold onto the stuffed animal as the toy essentially envelops the majority of his tiny body. “I want a huge koala bear,” the taller girl follows the brunette’s gaze and smiles.

 

“Then a giant koala bear you shall get, Director Cabello,” the green-eyed girl says with a bow before she grabs hold of Camila’s hand and practically drags her to the row of various carnival games.

 

She stops in front of a booth that is brightly decorated with various colors and random designs around the perimeter of the booth, topped off with giant block letters at the top that reads, “Knock It Down.” Inside the booth is a heavily-tattooed, tall, lanky man, his long hair in a neat bun on top his head and an animal balloon wrapped around his forehead, advertising his game with just the right amount of gusto and charm to the passing carnival go-ers. Behind him hangs a huge amount of selection of varying prizes, ranging from festive hats and painted tennis balls to a huge assortment of oversized stuffed animals, including several koala bears.

 

Lauren stands in line and slides her hold on Camila’s wrist downwards, intertwining her hands with the brunette’s, their fingers interspersing with ease while she keeps her gaze on the game ahead. Camila is momentarily distracted from the world around her, looking at Lauren to see if she had intended to intertwine their fingers and finding her expression concentrated on watching how the people before them are playing (and miserably failing) at knocking over the milk bottles.

 

The brunette is caught off guard at the gesture, her fingers stiff in between Lauren’s. She takes a deep breath and slowly curls her fingers down, closing her digits over the back of Lauren’s hand and relaxing into the hold and it’s as if something shifts in the universe - in Camila’s universe - where it’s always just been her. Her heart hammers against her ribcage, an unfamiliar heat spreading across her chest as Lauren’s hold seems to tether her heart to the girl beside her. It feels a lot like things slotting into place.

 

Her gaze travels from their hands back up to the other girl’s side profile and she swears she sees a slight upturn of the corner of the girl’s lips, as if she was waiting for Camila to catch up. Camila hopes she’s willing to wait. It’s gone before she has time to think about it.

 

She’s taken out of her reverie when she feels a tug at her hand, the taller girl leading her to the front of the line.

 

“Alright, beautiful ladies!” the man in the booth bellows in front of them with a wide smile. “All you gotta do is knock the milk bottles down and you shall get a prize! Three tries to knock all the bottles will get you a prize from the lowest shelf,” he gestures to a shelf of random trinkets: outrageous sunglasses, party hats, yo-yos and so on. “Two tries will get you one from the middle,” he shows off the second shelf containing small stuffed animals and some basketballs. “And finally, if you knock the entire pyramid in one go, you get one from the top shelf!” he presents the uppermost shelf containing the oversized stuffed animals.

 

Lauren turns to Camila with a determined look and smirks when she says, “Watch and learn, baby,” as she moves to remove her jacket, handing it over to Camila, who just rolls her eyes and is giving her an answering look that says she still isn’t convinced Lauren is going to knock all the bottles in one try.

 

“You know those are probably weighted and the ball is purposely soft, making it very hard to knock the entire thing down in one try, right?”

 

“You know I played softball in high school, right?” the green-eyed girl throws back as she rolls her shirt sleeves up and does some mock-stretches.

 

“That’s very typical, Lo.”

 

“Yeah well, it’s gonna get you that koala bear you want so much.”

 

Camila watches as the man behind the booth sets up six silver milk bottles into a pyramid on a table top near the back and hands Lauren three softballs while the girl pays him three dollars.

 

The raven-haired girl picks up a softball and eyes the distance to the bottles while she tosses the ball in her hand slightly in the air, catching it again swiftly as it lands softly back down. She does this a couple times before turning her head and directing her green eyes to Camila with a smirk, “Aright, start thinking of names for this koala bear.”

 

The brunette watches as Lauren gets into position effortlessly, her movements fluid and practiced. She leans her weight on her back leg and slightly lifts the front one just a few inches from the ground. Then, she bends forward on her front leg, planting it firmly on the ground below her, her strong legs flexing as she winds her arm back. As she puts her weight on her front leg, she surges her dominant arm forward in an arching motion, sending the ball through the air in an exhilarating speed as she follows through with her throwing motion. The younger girl observes in amazement at the sheer power in her throw and the easy grace with which the raven-haired girl’s athletic body moves in the air, her loose shirt clinging to the lines of her body as it tries to cater to the movement.

 

Camila watches with wide eyes as the ball sails through the air and hits the center bottle at the base of the pyramid, the force of the ball powerful enough to knock it down, causing the rest of the bottles to topple to the table, clanking against one another noisily while Lauren just looks the epitome of smug.

 

“And we got a winner!” the man in front of them shakes Camila out of her trance. “You may pick whatever prize your heart desires, m’lady,” he gives Lauren an exaggerated curtsy.

 

“The huge koala bear for my friend here please, kind sir,” the taller girl humors the man working at the booth, who immediately moves to retrieve the prize. “Here ya go,” Lauren presents the bear to Camila with a wide smile as she takes her jacket back from Camila.

 

“Oh my god, Laur. That was amazing!” the brunette throws her slender arms around the other girl’s neck while trying to hold the bear on her side, the whole thing looking awkward as the taller girl tries to return the hug as best as she can. Camila pulls back and she’s smiling the widest Lauren has ever seen and the raven-haired girl decides this is her favorite smile. The one that’s all teeth and bunched up cheeks, eyes glinting with utter happiness. She thinks she’d gladly play all the games in the carnival and win all the prizes if it elicits this kind of smile from the brunette. “I’ve always wanted one of these from a fair but was never good enough to win the big prizes.”

 

“Aw, Camzi, well now you have one!”

 

“I have to win you one too,” the brunette changes her disposition immediately as she begins to look around determinedly.

 

“You don’t have to, Camz” Lauren laughs slightly as she watches the girl amusedly while she tries to concentrate on which games would give her the best chance to win a prize.

 

“Nope, that won’t do,” the brunette answers as now it’s her turn to drag Lauren to a free throw booth.

 

Lauren kinks an eyebrow and crosses her arms as she regards the girl in front of her, who’s chewing on her bottom lip worriedly as she watches the people in front of her fail at the game miserably. “You know this game is even more heavily rigged, right? The hoop is a weird oblong shape and you have to be nearly perfect to get the ball in.”

 

Camila is nothing if she’s not competitive so she straightens up and narrows her eyes at the girl. “I can do this. Watch me, Jauregui.” She grew up with Dinah, who is the most determined competitor she has ever met and she does work in the business world after all. She doesn’t take to losing very well.

 

“Okay,” the girl chuckles as she takes the koala bear from Camila and moves to the side to watch the girl.

 

It takes Camila about a million tries and almost fifty dollars to finally get shot in and Lauren would be endeared if Camila didn’t look so funny as she struggled through missed shot after missed shot. When she finally makes one, she rejoices with the energy and enthusiasm of someone who’d just won a world championship. “Ha! Take that, Jauregui!” she yells triumphantly as she raises both hands in the air.

 

Lauren is bent over, laughing so hard that she’s getting weird looks from the people passing them. “Oh my gosh, you didn’t have to, really,” she replies at the girl who’s still celebrating her shot.

 

“Now, go ahead and pick your prize,” the brunette says happily.

 

“Um,” the teenage boy at the booth rubs the back of his neck nervously as she watches Camila and Lauren. “Your shot is only good for a prize on the second shelf,” he gets out as quickly as he can. He feels bad really, this girl seems like she was really trying to impress her girlfriend and she’d been hogging the booth for the past twenty minutes, angering the pre-teens that are standing in line behind them.

 

Camila visibly deflates, her entire posture slouching and her bottom lip jutting out in the saddest pout Lauren has ever seen. The raven-haired girl can’t stand the sight so she acts quickly and sidles up next to the brunette, scanning over the prizes on the middle shelf before her eyes light up on one particular small stuffed animal.

 

“That’s perfect, Camz!” she tries to tell the girl cheerily. “I really want that small Nala plush toy, it’s so cute and _Lion King_ has always been my favorite,” she says with a wide, genuine smile, which serves to pull a smile on Camila’s own lips, the brunette feeling relieved that she was still able to win something Lauren actually likes.

 

The boy in front of them perks up and moves to the back to get Nala and hands it over to Camila with an encouraging smile. “There you go!”

 

“Thank you,” Camila receives it with a shy smile and hands it over to Lauren timidly and okay, never mind, Lauren is endeared with Camila’s efforts after all.

 

“Thanks, Camz” Lauren returns her smile sincerely, her green eyes glinting with happiness as she swaps Nala with the koala bear, the brunette immediately hugging the bear like her life depended on it.

 

 

They’re walking around the fair in a comfortable silence as they look for something to eat, the sun barely peeking through the horizon as it sets and gives way to the night, the sky painted in different shades of oranges and reds on one side and dark violets and blues on the other as the night descends upon them, a wind chill breezing past them as they huddle closer together, trying to stay warm.

 

“So is this something you do every year?” Camila asks. There’s a hint of hesitancy in her voice, almost as if she’s afraid Lauren would shut her out if she doesn’t approach the topic with a certain sense of delicacy.

 

Lauren turns her head to look at Camila, her gaze searching for something Camila isn’t sure she wants the girl to find. The raven-haired girl gives her a small smile and tucks her hands further into her jacket pockets. “Just in the last couple years, but yeah.” She nods as she returns her gaze back to the front. “It’s something close to my heart.”

 

Camila hums in acknowledgement, her mind racing. She wants to ask more, _do_ more, but she doesn’t really know how to, so she figures that’s enough for now. She sends the girl one final meaningful smile before veering their conversation to something less heavy.

 

“Have you thought about what you’re going to name your plushy?” the brunette asks as her eyes land on the lion tucked under Lauren’s arms.

 

The raven-haired girl gives her a confused look and asks, “What? What do you mean? Her name’s Nala.”

 

“Oh,” Camila shrugs. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d want to name her something different or like – yeah I don’t know,” she chuckles nervously.

 

“Nah, I think I’m going to stick with Nala. I told you, I absolutely _love_ “Lion King,” and Nala is my favorite. She’s a badass, you know?”

 

Camila smiles at her childlike excitement, her eyes exuding her enthusiasm about the movie. “How about you? You gonna name yours, Karla the Koala?” she asks with a smile, her tone teasing and her eyes bright with mischief.

 

The brunette gasps and narrows her eyes at the girl beside her. “How do you even know that?”

 

“Know what? That your real name is Karla?”

 

“Ugh!” the younger girl shoves Lauren, her effort in vain as the taller girl barely budges at her push as the older girl tries to reel her laughter in. “Don’t ever call me that again.”

 

“Okay, okay,” the older girl acquiesces. “So if not Karla, what then?”

 

“Hm,” the brunette pretends to mull over the question before she gives Lauren a knowing look. “You know you kinda gave me an idea. How about…I name him, Lauren.”

 

Lauren nearly chokes on air as she looks at the girl incredulously. “Lauren? You’re going to name _him_ , Lauren? That doesn’t make sense.”

 

“Why? It’s just a name. You shouldn’t gender _ize_ names, Lauren” she says in a sassy tone.

 

“I don’t think that’s a word.”

 

“Well, the point still stands. If a boy wants to be called Lauren and still identifies as a boy, it shouldn’t matter. No one should give him shit about it.”

 

“Okay fine, but you still shouldn’t name him after me,” the girl says as she rolls her eyes.

 

“How do you know it’s after you? Maybe I’m naming him after Ralph Lauren or some other Lauren. Way to be conceited, Lo.” She shakes her head at the girl playfully.

 

The raven-haired girl just raises an eyebrow and gives Camila a look that says she’s full of shit.

 

“Fine,” the brunette huffs. “His name’s Lorenzo,” her smile forms back on her lips as she looks back at the other girl with mischievous eyes and Lauren really shouldn’t find it so adorable, but she does as she relents to Camila’s antics.

 

“Well, he’s your child anyway, so it’s up to you I guess,” she shrugs finally.

 

 

They continue to walk until they find themselves in front of a food truck that serves all kinds of foods that aren’t really fit for a proper dinner, but Lauren and Camila are feeling so hungry after staying up late all night and working for the most part of the morning before raiding the carnival games that they really don’t care too much that they’re having funnel cakes and fries and ice cream for dinner.

 

Lauren drives Camila back to her apartment and the ride is silent but neither girl feels the need to fill it with shallow conversation as they merely enjoy each other’s company. The young girl looks out at the lights passing by them as the raven-haired girl maneuvers through the city traffic and she tries to recall a time when she had felt such peace.

 

She still basks in her ultimate insignificance in a vast, infinite universe, still enjoys being but one of the millions that live in the biggest city in the country – but somehow, she finds herself not paying much attention to the world around her. She’s content in her own world, especially when it’s filled with Lauren’s presence, the girl knowing just how to pull her strings and push her buttons in a way that ignites a fire within her she’d thought had died a long time ago. It flares and sparks and glows from somewhere deep in her chest and she wonders how long it’ll last.

 

She feels alive and she’s absolutely terrified.

 

Camila doesn’t realize they’ve arrived at her building until Lauren’s voice floats through the air and nudges at her wandering mind.

 

“Well, here we are.”

 

Camila looks up at her building entrance and back to Lauren who’s waiting patiently. Always so patient.

 

“Um,” the brunette starts to play with her fingers. “Do you want to come up?” she asks without meeting the other girl’s eyes.

 

Lauren just raises a playful eyebrow at the girl, at which the brunette rolls her eyes when she finally looks up.

 

“Relax, it’s just late, is all. I don’t want you driving alone at this hour. I don’t’ want to be responsible if something happens to you, that can’t look good for me,” she tries to say as nonchalantly as possible.

 

“If you want my body, it’s yours for the taking, Camzi,” the raven-haired girl can’t help but tease the girl. She smiles at the light tinge of pink that forms on the girl’s cheeks.

 

“You’re absolutely insufferable at times, you know that?” the younger girl says amidst a chuckle.

 

“Alright, we’ll go with what you want to believe then,” the raven-haired girl responds as she drives her car from the drop-off point towards the garage for guests.

 

They move around each other easily as they get ready for bed, Lauren borrowing some clothes from the younger girl to sleep in before they finally settle in bed, the exhaustion of the last 48 hours finally taking its toll on their tired bodies.

 

Lauren turns around on her side and is met with Camila’s back, her thin, see-through sleep shirt not leaving much for imagination. She reaches out a hand and pokes the brunette on her side, eliciting a loud yelp from the girl as she jerks away from Lauren, who’s laughing at the girl’s reaction.

 

“Lauren!” she yells as she turns around and tries her best to glare at the girl. “What do you want?”

 

“Are you really not up for sex, or…?” Lauren replies with a cheeky smile.

 

“Oh my gosh, you’re impossible,” the younger girl rolls her eyes and shoves Lauren’s shoulder. “Go to sleep, Lo.”

 

“I need cuddles,” the raven-haired girl says in a baby voice and Camila has to try very hard to resist the urge to coo at the girl.

 

“Here,” the brunette sits up and reaches for something near her bedside table and rolls back on her side to face Lauren. “Cuddle with her,” she says as she hands Nala to a grinning Lauren, who looks like a kid who’d just caught Santa climbing down her fireplace.

 

“Oh, yay! I forgot I have this,” she says as she snuggles with the toy tightly, tucking it close to her chest while she closes her eyes contently. “Thanks, Camz. Good night.”

 

Camila smiles at Lauren and how different the girl can be when they’re not lost in lust or getting carried away in their passion. Lauren is attractively charming, affectionate, compassionate, naturally caring, goofy, talented, intelligent -  the list goes on and on and Camila wonders about how lucky she is to see the different sides to Lauren. Camila sees the girl’s business-minded side when they’re at work, her aura commanding and ambitious. She sees the girl’s silly and charming side when they’re out in public together, marvels at her kindness when she senses that Camila needs her, and enjoys her fiery and impassioned desires when they’re in bed together.

 

That night, Camila falls asleep with a rare peace of mind, and if this is the second time she’d fallen asleep easily in Lauren’s presence without the need for sex, she doesn’t pay it much mind.

 

 

\--

 

 

Camila groans and lets her head fall against the back of her office chair when she sees a notification on her phone from her dad. He’s reminding her of attending the summit he’d talked about a few weeks ago and the brunette can’t help but feel largely disappointed. She’d totally forgotten about it and she’s definitely not up to mingling with rich businessmen and spending her weekend dressed up and kissing ass.

 

She was also looking forward to asking Lauren to come over and making use of their arrangement. She’s been feeling extra stressed all week, her father pushing her to produce some concrete results on several company endeavors and she’s been working nonstop, barely giving her enough time to see Lauren outside of the office, much less to meet up with her in the bathroom or some janitor’s closet during work hours.

 

She’s feeling a little deprived and the reminder that this streak is going to spill over into the weekend just about tops her horrible week.

 

 

\--

 

 

Camila is sitting by herself on a table in some top floor ballroom reception area in the heart of Denver as she nurses her third glass of champagne while business magnates across the world mingle and talk amongst themselves around her.

 

She’s done her part, talked with and kissed up to all the people her father had instructed her to talk with and kiss up to, so now she’s just waiting for a call from the driving service she’d hired while staying in the city. She looks out of the floor-to-ceiling windows of the room and her brown eyes follow the light snowflakes flurrying gently down from the sky, blanketing the city in a light coat of snow, feeling envious of the way they fall without fear. Maybe she’ll be able to do that too someday. She’s exhausted and bored and she wishes there was at least one person in this summit that she could stand so she didn’t have to feel like jumping out of the window.

 

She’s ready to call and check in on her service when her phone chimes, indicating a text from Lauren. She raises an eyebrow to herself and before she can unlock her phone, another notification alerts her to a follow up text.

 

 

**Lauren: you up?**

**Lauren: sorry, I just wanted to try that lol. but seriously, you free tonight?**

Camila laughs to herself as she types up a reply.

 

 

_Camila: sorry, no can do this time around, babe_

**Lauren: )): why noootttt**

Camila can imagine the pout gracing Lauren’s features at the text and it takes a lot of willpower on her part to not rush out of the room and jump on the next flight back to New York.

 

 

_Camila: I’m in Denver for a business summit_

**Lauren: boooooooo**

**Lauren: guess it’s me and myself tonight *sighs***

Camila’s curiosity is peaked from Lauren’s text and before she has time to fully process her words, she sends out her reply.

 

 

_Camila: yeah? what are you planning to do by yourself_

**Lauren: wouldn’t you like to know**

_Camila: I most definitely want to know_

Lauren doesn’t respond for a few minutes and Camila internally groans at herself. _Ugh, why couldn’t you keep it in your pants, Cabello. She probably thinks you’re some sex-deprived fiend now. Which you’re not, okay._

She fumbles for her phone when she sees a text from the girl and almost drops it again when she opens it and is assaulted by an image of Lauren lying on her back on her bed – naked. The angle is clearly taken from the top, Lauren’s arm extending above her figure. Her thin, white sheets are thrown about her body in a way that looks haphazard but is actually strategic to show _a lot_ of exposed white skin, but still covering the parts that Camila wants to see the most.

 

 

**Lauren: use your imagination, Cabello**

 

The swells of the older girl’s breast peek out teasingly above the cover of her sheets, and her entire left side, down to her hip and long her long legs is exposed, showing a generous amount of her left ass cheek, letting Camila know that she is indeed, very much naked under the sheet.

 

The sheet is wispy thin, clinging deliciously onto Lauren’s curves and mapping out her body perfectly, the dips of her abs and her navel, and the teasing curve down in between her legs, her noticeably hardened nipples, all poking through and evident through the cloth. Camila’s heart rate spikes up at the sight and she has a passing thought about how well-orchestrated this picture is, making her wonder about how many times Lauren had done this before.

 

She ignores that thought and looks around her to make sure no one can see what’s on her phone. She feels white hot heat shoot down her body and settle and curl around at the junction of her thighs as she takes a deep breath and crosses her legs, biting on her lower lip harshly as she types her reply.

 

 

_Camila: that’s not fair_

**Lauren: get home as soon as you can, and this is all yours, baby ;)**

_Camila: i hate this job sometimes_

**Lauren: ahhahahaha, aw, babe. s’okay**

_Camila: it’s really not_

**Lauren: calm your hormones down, Camz. how’d the summit go anyway?**

_Camila: same old same old, I managed to close a deal and get a provisional verbal agreement with a company we’ve been talking to for a while_

**Lauren: see, that’s why you’re the best ((:**

And just like that, Camila finds herself relaxing and forgetting about the stressful week she’s had. It’s fascinating to Camila how easy it is for Lauren to pull her out of the recesses of her mind and simply allow her to have fun without all the burden she carries in her head burdening her with crippling intensity.

 

She ends up texting Lauren as she waits for the service, and even into the rest of the night as she tucks herself into bed, a wide smile on her face as she keeps her eyes glued onto her phone screen, easily getting lost in conversation with the girl as their talks range from silly, nonsense discussions, to thought-provoking debates about the current affairs of the world.

 

 

Camila notices the time on her phone and she sees that it’s almost midnight, not realizing how much time has passed while she got lost in her own world with Lauren. Even from hundreds of miles away, the raven-haired girl has a way of affecting Camila in a way the brunette didn’t think was possible.

 

She briefly notes that it’s nearing two in the morning where Lauren is and her heart swells at the fact that the girl is willing to stay up late to keep her company. After much discussion and persuasion on Camila’s part, she finally convinces the other girl to sleep so she can rest and the younger girl lays on her bed wide awake, staring at the hotel ceiling above her while thoughts of Lauren run through her mind.

 

_I’m so fucked._

 

 

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
>  
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone!
> 
>  
> 
> I hope 2018 brings you all your best year yet and you all continue to spread love and positivity!
> 
>  
> 
> As always, I’d love to hear what you guys think of this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to vote/comment/give feedback if you feel like it!
> 
>  
> 
> Hit me up at @jaureguicabello5eva on wattpad
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox


	5. Part Five

 

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Camila mutters to herself as she stands dejectedly, eyeing the departure times displayed in front of her with a sense of hatred she hadn’t felt in a while, the bright red letters indicating yet another delay on her flight staring back at her – unblinkingly, almost tauntingly. She narrows her eyes at it, refusing to back down, until she gets her bearings back and recognizes that she’s having a staring contest with an inanimate object. The rush of the other equally-irritated passengers walking past her – their oversized luggage pushing against her as if she wasn’t standing _right there_ – bringing her back to reality.

 

It’s the fatigue – and the lack of sex –it’s all getting to her and she won’t entirely rule out the possibility that she’s actually lost her mind. Her late-night conversation with Lauren had given her a nice and much-needed reprieve from all the stress that seems to constantly plague her life, but that temporary high has now come and gone, her exhaustion from the two-day conference she had attended, finally catching up to her.

 

She walks back to the waiting area with a seemingly-permanent scowl and her shoulders slumped as she collapses onto the seat for what seems like the tenth time that morning. How her flight had already been delayed three times within the span of an hour, she doesn’t fully understand. The brunette brings a hand to soothe the growing pain she can feel forming on her temples and closes her eyes to reduce the stimulation around her – the insistent buzzing of a distressed crowd, the never-ending overhead announcements of the most monotonous man she’s ever heard in her life, and the occasional rowdy child that is no doubt getting just as restless as she is about the delays – they’re all becoming quite too much.

 

She reluctantly releases her temples when she feels the buzz of her phone and looks down to read a reminder she’d apparently set for herself, probably sometime before she’d been sucked into this hellhole of an airport.

 

_Pick Sofia up at five_

 

“Fucking shit!” she mutters to herself, her headache, which had seemed to be in the beginning stages of tapering off, is coming back at full force and she genuinely considers weighing the pros and cons of throwing her phone across the room – wondering if the temporary catharsis it will bring can outweigh the fact that she’ll lose contact with the rest of the world. She grudgingly decides that it will be more trouble for its worth.

 

The Latina quickly tries to run through possible solutions in her head, quickly ruling out Dinah and Ally – her Polynesian friend being out of town, and she remembers Ally mentioning something about going on a weekend getaway with her husband. It’s Alfred’s day off and God knows she asks too much of that man already to pull him out of his vacation.

 

She sighs to herself as the only person that she could think of trusting to get Sofia is Lauren.

 

_Of course._

 

Her flight had originally been scheduled at nine in the morning, which would have given her enough time to fly back to New York, go back to her apartment, change, and then come back and pick Sofia up from the airport, whose flight lands at five. But of course, it would have been asking for too much for things to work according to plan. It’s now nearing midday and it still isn’t clear what time her plane would actually be able to leave plus adding in the time difference, there’s a good chance she won’t make it in time.

 

She had missed her little sister in the recent years and she can’t help but regret that she hadn’t been around for Sofi during her teenage years. Despite the eleven-year gap between them, Camila and Sofi had been very close, thick as thieves together while growing up. That was until the older brunette moved out for college and Sofi and her parents eventually moved to Miami to oversee their second largest branch in Florida. Her dad flies to New York every week or so, going back and forth between the branches and obsessing over the handling of both sites, but for the most part, Camila is by herself in New York.

 

The brunette tries her best to keep in contact with her sister, calling every week – talking about the girl’s life and school and gossip and the like – and planning trips for Sofi every month or so to visit her in New York. In the last few months, however, Camila hadn’t been as good at keeping in touch, her mind having been preoccupied with the stresses of the accident. She figures it’s high time that she finally see her younger sister and actually spend quality time with her, but of course, the universe refuses to make it easy for the brunette.

 

She sighs as she looks back at her phone and goes to her recent contacts, Lauren’s name being the most prominent in her list of people she’d recently called and texted. She takes a deep breath before pressing call and bites her lip and shakes one knee in anticipation.

 

After a couple of rings, she hears the familiar raspy voice groggily answer, making her furrow her brows in confusion and pull back her phone to make sure to check the time. It’s almost ten in the morning on the east coast.

 

“ _Hello_?” Lauren’s voice floats through her speakers and she answers the girl with a hint of teasing in her tone.

 

“Hey,” she smiles to herself. “Did you just wake up?”

 

“ _Maybe_ ,” the dark-haired girl mutters. It’s a wonder how quickly Camila’s mood can change just from hearing Lauren’s voice – as if all of the stress she’s endured thus far in her unfortunate morning seem to be not as important at the moment, not when she gets to bask in Lauren’s company. “ _Are you calling me from the plane? Can you do that now?_ ” the confusion is evident in the green-eyed girl’s voice and Camila can’t help but smile at the fact that the girl knows her flight information.

 

“No, my flight is delayed,” the brunette answers and she can hear the disappointed sigh come through the line.

 

_“That sucks. I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”_

 

Camila chuckles at the girl’s dramatics before she finally gets to the point. “Yeah, I know. But um-,” she brings a hand to run through her hair. “I actually have a favor to ask.” She bites her lip in anticipation, but it’s not even a second later before the girl responds, her answer automatic and ready. It brings a warmth through Camila’s chest.

 

“ _Sure, just tell me what you need. Your wish is my command, princess_ ,” Camila can hear the smile in her voice as she seems more awake now. She doesn’t know why she expected Lauren to say anything else but yes – that’s all she’s ever done so far when it comes to the brunette after all.

 

“Well, so my flight is delayed as I’ve said, and I’m um –” she composes herself long enough to get through her request. “I was supposed to pick up Sofia, my sister, from the airport today at five and seeing as I still don’t have a definite departure time, I most likely won’t make it.”

 

“ _You want me to pick her up?_ ” Her tone is laced with genuine surprise.

 

“If you can?”

 

“ _Sure_.”

 

“I didn’t want to bother you, but it’s Alfred’s day off and Dinah and Ally are – wait, sure? That’s it?”

 

“ _Yeah, sure_ ,” Lauren says with an amused chuckle.

 

“You’re not even going to make it hard for me?

 

“ _Hm, now that you mention it…_ ” Lauren’s voice gets an octave lower and there’s a huskier sound to it. “ _Maybe I’ll want something in return when you get back_.”

 

“Done.”

 

Camila can hear Lauren choke on her breath at her easy response and she can picture the girl blushing on the other end. “ _Anyway_ ,” the raven-haired girl manages to cough out and the brunette smiles to herself. “ _Will she know that you’re not picking her up?_ ”

 

“Yeah, I’m gonna call her in a sec, before she boards, and let her know about the change of plans.”

 

_“Okay, cool. Send me the details when you can.”_

 

Camila can’t help but feel a lightness in her heart at the way everything seems to be so easy with the green-eyed girl. “Thanks for this, Laur,” she says with a smile on her face. She wonders if she’ll ever stop smiling when it comes to Lauren. “I really appreciate it. I’d just send a car service to Sofi if I could, but she’s fifteen and kind of reckless sometimes, I’m not positive she won’t manage to get lost in New York if I were to leave her to her own devices,” she tells the girl seriously.

 

“ _Reckless, you say_?” Lauren asks and Camila just knows she’s smirking. “ _So, a mini-Cabello then, huh?_ ”

 

“Shut up,” the brunette mutters, but there’s an unmistakable fondness in her voice.

 

“ _Okay, well I’ll let you make that phone call then, stay safe.”_

 

“Will do. Thanks again.”

 

“ _Bye, Camz_.”

 

“Bye, Laur.”

 

 

 

Camila spends the hour before she finally boards ironing out the details of Sofi’s arrival. She sends Lauren and Sofi pictures of each other as well as Sofi’s flight information to Lauren so that the two girls would have as little trouble as possible identifying one another when it comes for the raven-haired girl to pick her sister up.

 

She also contacts her apartment building and provides the necessary verification identification and briefs Sofi on what she needs to show the front desk to allow her access to her apartment for when she arrives. She’d included Lauren in the access information as well, figuring that if Lauren had to stay with Sofi for some reason, security wouldn’t give her a hard time.

 

After several exhausting phone call conversations to settle everything that needed to be done for Sofi’s arrival, Camila finally boards at closer to one in the afternoon.

 

 

*****

 

 

Lauren is feeling strangely nervous. She didn’t have a real reason to be, it’s not like Sofi could possibly hate her right off the bat. Why she wanted Sofi’s approval so badly, the raven-haired girl isn’t completely sure. Or maybe she is, and she’s reluctant to confront the truth behind it because it’ll force her to admit some things she may not be ready to admit just yet.

 

She shakes off her thoughts as she stands by the arrival area, carefully eyeing the crowd for Camila’s younger sister. She’d looked at the picture Camila had sent her earlier and had to take a double look – the younger girl looks like a mini carbon copy of Camila. She imagines the brunette would have looked just like Sofi when she was fifteen and she had to smile at their similarity.

 

She’s so lost in her thoughts that she’d completely missed the younger girl approaching, her voice snapping her out of her reverie.

 

“Sofi would have just been fine, you know,” a young brunette in front of Lauren is eyeing the sign she’s holding with both hands with a slight frown. The raven-haired girl looks down confusedly at the sign she’d brought to help Sofi spot her from the crowd where it says, _Sofia Cabello._

 

“Oh well, sorry about that. I’m Lauren,” the green-eyed girl extends her hand and gives the girl a charming smile, hoping to ease the girl into being comfortable in her company.

 

“Sofi,” the young girl replies with an easy smile of her own as she extends her hand out, but not before giving the girl a once over. “So, you’re Kaki’s friend?” the young brunette asks somewhat skeptically as she proceeds to cross her arms in front of her chest and lean her weight on one foot, jutting a hip out. Lauren gets lost in just how similar Sofi and Camila are, and not just in physical looks, but in mannerisms as well – the constantly guarded facial expression, an undeniable aura of confidence, and the right mix of snark and charm all blended into a small ball of fiery Latina features.

 

“Uh, I don’t know what a ‘Kaki’ is,” Lauren replies, amused at the uncanny similarity of the two as she moves to get half of Sofi’s bags while they start walking to where she’s parked, Sofi following her easily despite her outward skepticism. “But I’m friends with your sister. She also happens to be my boss.” Lauren figures that her easygoing personality had worked on Camila with some persistence on her part, so maybe she could use the same tactic here.

 

“I call Camila, Kaki,” Sofi replies. “How long have you known her?” she continues to interrogate the girl as she helps the older girl load her bags into her trunk.

 

“A few months or so,” the green-eyed girl shrugs as she moves to the driver seat. “I’m new at her company, moved to New York around the same time I started. I was born and raised in Miami.”

 

“Oh cool!” Sofi exclaims, her eyes lighting up in the same way Lauren’s favorite pair of brown eyes do when she gets excited. It reminds Lauren of just how much she’d missed Camila in the past week. They’d both been too busy to meet up anywhere outside of the office and the brunette had spent the entire weekend away, leaving Lauren with a heavy weight of longing in her chest that she can’t wait to finally get rid of tonight. Her thoughts of Camila are broken up by Sofi’s excited voice. “I go to school in Miami!”

 

“Yeah?” Lauren can’t help but smile at the girl’s enthusiasm. She already knew that of course. Camila speaks fondly of her sister whenever they would get into one of their many late-night conversations, usually as a way to distract Camila when Lauren can sense that she’s having a particularly hard time in falling asleep. Lauren would engage her in conversation, asking her many questions about her life as a way to keep the brunette’s mind preoccupied on lighthearted things, the raven-haired girl doing her best to fight off sleep herself so she can be there for the brunette. “I miss the warm weather and the beach if I’m being honest with you.” Lauren hopes to keep earning points from Sofi as they continue to talk about things they have in common.

 

From there on, their conversations are easy and relaxed, Sofi immediately warming up to the older girl. They talk about their shared love of Miami and make fun of Camila lightheartedly as they make the drive to the older brunette’s apartment. Sofi has got as much spunk and just the right amount of wit to match Lauren’s own personality play by play and they bond easily. Lauren figures Camila must have been the same when she was younger, her responsibilities as apparent heir to a global company most likely taming a bit of the tenacity of her youth, but her fiery attitude still evident under her façade of calm and collected, only noticeable whenever she needs to bring out that side in business negotiations.

 

When they reach Camila’s apartment, it was natural for Sofi to invite Lauren to come up and wait for Camila, who’d be arriving in a couple of hours herself. The young teen had felt comfortable with Lauren enough to ask to keep her company, considering she didn’t really want to be left alone in her older sister’s giant penthouse in a strange city.

 

“So what is there to do in this place?” Sofi asks as she plops down on the couch tiredly, looking around at the apartment, which she vaguely registers looks like it came out of an interior design catalog and not like a place that someone actually lives in, while Lauren puts away the last of her bags.

 

Lauren thinks for a second before she gets an idea that brings a wide smile to her face. “I’m sure you’re tired from your flight, but I know something we can do to pass the time,” she says excitedly.

 

Sofi raises an eyebrow in curiosity while Lauren moves to the door to put her shoes back on. “I’m gonna get my laptop real quick from the car. I’ll be back!” The green-eyed girl yells over her shoulder as she leaves the apartment before Sofi has a chance to ask what they could possibly need a laptop for.

 

 

*****

 

When Camila lugs her tired body through the elevators that open right into her apartment, she isn’t sure what to make of the yelling that streams through her living room and she walks further into the place cautiously.

 

Her confusion turns into an amused smile when she spots Lauren and Sofi sprawled out on her carpet in the living room, her $3,000 glass coffee table unceremoniously moved to the side to make room, while the girls in front of her continue to yell out directions at one another, their voices urgent and panicked.

 

Lauren’s back is turned to her and she can see that the raven-haired girl is sat crossed-legged on the floor while focused on her laptop, the screen showing a multi-panel view of what looks like a bomb defuser simulation – there are various colored wires, a set of codes, a huge button that looks ominous in red and with bold letters that spell “ABORT,” and an even more daunting timer that is ticking down and is currently at thirty seconds.

 

Her younger sister is on her stomach, frantically searching through sheets of papers while they continue to yell at each other.

 

“Which wire do I cut?!”

 

“Oh! Here it is….The white one!”

 

“There are two white ones!”

 

“Shit…Uh-”

 

“Sof!”

 

“Shh! I’m reading…Oh! Oh! The one with the light above it and the star below!”

 

“Done!”

 

There are a few seconds of silence before they both erupt in cheers, standing up together and participating in a strange dance ritual, which they end with an elaborate handshake that involves all of their limbs. How they’ve managed to come up with an extensive, celebratory handshake in the mere couple hours that they’ve spent together, Camila isn’t sure.

 

“Yes!”

 

“We’re the best!”

 

“Now that that’s settled, would either of you care to explain what is happening here?” Camila finally makes her presence known and both girls turn abruptly, a slight shade of pink dusting the line of Lauren’s cheeks, which are still bunched up in a wide smile from her previous celebration.

 

“Kaki!” The younger Cabello runs past Lauren and into Camila’s arms, who grunts at the force she’s met with as her sister wraps all of her limbs around her.

 

“Sof!” Camila manages to get out amidst her laughter. “You’re not quite as small as before, you know?”

 

“Sorry,” she says as she gets down and opts for a tight hug instead. “I just missed you.”

 

Lauren can see Camila’s face immediately soften as she tightens her hold on her younger sister, finally able to have her back in her arms after so long.  “Hey, butterfly queen. I missed you too.”

 

The raven-haired girl stands to the side waiting for her turn with a wide smile on her face. Camila rarely ever lets her guard down – her emotions always in check – but with Sofi, she can see how much the girl has missed the younger Cabello.

 

Camila lets her sister go and her eyes immediately find Lauren, who’s approaching her now while teasingly mouthing “Kaki?” at her.  They meet halfway into a warm embrace, and the brunette instinctively buries her face in the older girl’s neck, basking in being able to touch the older girl again, even if it’s in the most innocent way. The raven-haired girl is in a similar state, almost sighing at getting the chance to engulf the brunette in her arms, having seriously missed her presence in the past week.

 

Their bodies mold perfectly against one another and Camila feels a familiar sense of warmth course through her, the cells of her body thrumming with the kind of quiet fire that builds within her whenever she’s with the green-eyed girl, its glow subtle yet all-encompassing. She doesn’t know what to make of it when it happens, but she succumbs to it every single time – against every boundary she’d set for herself.

 

She wonders how long Lauren will be able to affect her in such a way before she can gather the strength to push the girl away like she’d always meant to do whenever anyone got close.

 

They pull back reluctantly with gentle smiles and she can feel the stresses of the day melt away at the sight of bright green eyes and flushed cheeks.

 

“Welcome back, Camz,” the raven-haired girl greets her with the softest smile she’s ever seen on the girl and her heart continues to pound against her chest as they keep their arms on each other, barely letting one another go.

 

“Glad to be back,” the brunette responds with a shy smile of her own. Their staring contest is broken when they hear Sofi obnoxiously clear her throat.

 

“Wow, it’s almost like you haven’t seen each other longer than you and I have been separated, Kaki,” she quips with a raised eyebrow.

 

Camila immediately lets go of Lauren, fighting the urge to take her back in her arms as the warmth drifts away with the raven-haired girl’s retreating arms. She narrows her eyes at her younger sister and puts her hands on her hips when she responds. “What were you two even doing?” she asks as a way to change the subject while she switches her gaze between Sofi and Lauren, who are wearing matching wide grins.

 

“Playing,” Sofi shrugs.

 

“Why did it require an inordinate amount of yelling?”

 

Lauren rolls her eyes as she moves back to her place on the floor in front of her laptop. “It’s a very intense game, Camz. If we don’t work well together, the bomb is gonna explode,” she says with wide eyes and exaggerated explosion noises.

 

Sofi raises an eyebrow at her sister and whispers “Camz?” while making excessive heart eyes and pointing between an oblivious Lauren and a glaring Camila.

 

The older brunette only chucks a pillow at her sister, who’s laughing to herself as she plops down in front of Lauren to resume their game. “Alright, children. Since it seems like I’m going to be the only adult here for tonight, I’m gonna cook. Don’t break anything,” she says seriously as she moves to the kitchen and points a finger between the two of them while narrowing her eyes.

 

The girls give her half-hearted responses, their attention already back on the game. Camila smiles to herself and can’t help but feel like the lightness she feels is too good to be true. She figures she’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

 

Sofi and Lauren eventually move into the kitchen to keep Camila company while she cooks – or more accurately, to trade embarrassing stories about her while the older brunette listens without a choice. The conversations and the jokes come easy enough, the three of them spending time as if they’d known each other their entire lives.

 

Lauren and Camila exchange furtive glances, all soft smiles and gentle gazes in between trying to keep Sofi entertained. It’s taking all of Lauren’s restraint not to touch Camila, electing to keep her hands to herself instead while her body yearns for the brunette almost achingly.

 

Camila is in the same predicament. And although she craves the undeniable passion, she’s also feeling just as deprived of the raven-haired girl’s simplest of touches. She’s used to light grazes on her arm, quick kisses to her bare shoulder, fingers tracing her eyebrows when they’re furrowed as the older girl’s way to calm the brunette down when she’s overthinking. She’d gone without all of it for a week and her body feels like it’s going through intense withdrawals.

 

Dinner goes by just as smoothly, with Lauren trying to stay as long as she can that can be considered appropriate for a “work friend.”

 

When the raven-haired girl goes to the bathroom before she has to leave, Sofi takes the opportunity to tease her older sister, knowing just what to say to rile her up. “So…” she drags out as she waits for her sister to turn to her and give her full attention. When brown eyes meet her own curiously, she smirks and leans back in her chair at the dining table. “Your girlfriend is nice.” She knows they’re not together – and not just because they’ve both clearly said they were just friends. She knows this because she knows her sister, and she recognizes that she’s not ready for that, although she does see that Lauren might be different.

 

Camila, already expecting it from the teasing glances she’d gotten from Sofi all night when Lauren wasn’t paying attention, is ready with a response, her tone dripping with practiced nonchalance. “She’s not my girlfriend, Sof,” she punctuates it with an eye roll.

 

“Well, why not?” the younger brunette has always known how to challenge Camila. She’d grown up with her after all and easily picked up on her feistiness.

 

“Why do you have so many questions?” Camila lets out in a mock-exasperated tone. “Don’t you have boys to worry about or whatever it is high school kids worry about these days?”

 

“Ugh, boys are gross,” Sofi groans and Camila raises an eyebrow. “I’m over them for now,” the girl says resolutely. “All they do is bring me down.”

 

Camila laughs at that, light and carefree, and she’s reminded of just how much she’s missed her sister.

 

“Well, I should head out,” they turn towards Lauren, who’s moving to the couch and shrugging on her jacket as she prepares to leave. “I’ll see you whenever, little one,” she addresses Sofi, who runs to her and gives her a hug before they engage in another round of their elaborate handshake.

 

“We’ll definitely hang soon,” the younger girl nods before moving to the spare bedroom. “Drive safe!”

 

Camila walks her to the elevator doors and bites her lip before turning to fully face the green-eyed girl when they reach it. “Thanks for everything,” she says with a sincere smile. The younger girl brings a hand to run through her hair when she adds. “I really wouldn’t know what to do without you at times. I feel like you’ve bailed me out on multiple occasions now,” she lets out a small chuckle.

 

“It’s not a big deal. You’ve done just as many favors for me,” she says with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

 

“Aaand, the moment’s over,” Camila says with a shake of her head. The smile on her face, however, isn’t doing much to mask her endearment.

 

“Really, though,” Lauren says seriously, waiting for Camila to meet her eyes before continuing. “It was fun. Sofi’s a great kid,” she shrugs easily.

 

“Yeah,” the brunette responds. “I mean, she already likes you more than me.”

 

“Not possible,” Lauren answers quickly. The way she says it, sure and straightforward with a slight husk to her tone while keeping Camila’s gaze, it causes a flutter of emotions to rush through Camila.

 

“Okay, well uh-” Camila tries to compose herself. “Well, thanks again. Be safe.” She internally cringes at how awkward she sounds.

 

“That’s it?” Lauren asks incredulously.

 

“What were you expecting?” Camila answers with a small laugh.

 

Lauren looks to where the spare bedroom is and when she hears the shower turn on, she then places her hands on the girl’s hips and swiftly turns them around, pushing the girl back against the wall and immediately crashes her lips on the brunette’s. The touch of their lips instantly lights a fire through Camila - her body thrumming with desire, her pulse loud in her ears.

 

Camila’s breath hitches in her throat and it’s almost instinctive when she wraps her arms around the girl’s neck, her hands bury themselves in soft tresses, her fingers curling tightly around the girl’s neck when the green-eyed girl wastes no time in slipping her tongue in Camila’s mouth - the brunette gasping at her actions.

 

Their lips and tongues and mouths move in a familiar pattern, their rhythm urgent and desperate after not having had each other for over a week, their bodies naturally indulging themselves in each other’s touch as they share swallowed gasps and poorly-suppressed moans.

 

“Lauren,” the brunette gasps out when the older girl moves her eager mouth onto her neck, devouring her flushed skin with unrestrained fervor when the burning in their lungs become too much. She had meant to sound reproachful, but it had come out as imploring instead, her desire overtaking her as her body pleads for more.

 

She’s seconds away from taking Lauren’s hand and sticking it down her own pants when the raven-haired girl moves back to her lips, claiming her mouth once more, the brunette’s body surrendering at will.

 

Lauren pulls back with a final nip on Camila’s swollen lips and smiles at the girl’s dazed look. “That’s a more appropriate goodbye.” Before Camila can respond, Lauren swoops back in and takes her lips in another kiss, this one much gentler and with the kind of tenderness that never fails to send Camila’s mind reeling. “Dream about me, baby,” the older girl whispers against her lips before finally pulling away completely and entering the elevators, leaving Camila aroused and confused.

 

The brunette goes to bed that night with her feelings weighing heavy on her mind and she’s not the least bit surprised when she dreams of bright green eyes and soft smiles.

 

 

*****

 

Normani and Lauren are hanging out in the green-eyed girl’s apartment while they paint a mural along the entire side of one of the walls in her living room – well, Lauren is painting while Normani is complaining about spending her Friday night inhaling paint fumes. The wall is on the same side of the Latina’s front door and it had been bare up until now, the raven-haired girl growing tired of looking at a blank wall, so naturally, she’d gone the extreme and decided a mural would fit well on it.

 

Lauren had been working on the mural for a week now and as much as Normani complains, she can’t help but watch in awe at the sheer talent her best friend possesses with a paintbrush. The way her fingers expertly curl around the brush, the fluidity of her motion when she moves her hand and arm to bring the brush across her canvas, and the apparent effortlessness of the whole thing – Lauren painting as easily as if she were merely breathing, it’s all very captivating and she briefly wonders what the girl is doing in advertising when she could be selling overpriced artworks to art enthusiasts across the world.

 

The mural is that of a crosswalk of a major bustling city, not unlike the ones that Normani is used to crossing all over New York. Lauren has skillfully painted the illusion of movement, using artfully illustrated blurred lines to show passing cars and common city folk rushing to wherever it is that city folks rush to.

 

But the main attraction of the piece rests in the painting of an old woman sat on the sidewalk, leaning against the brick wall of a local café just off-center of the whole picture.

 

She’s drawn with such meticulous detail that it almost looks like a photograph. Each line on her face is painted with careful attention and the shading on her skin highlights her features sharply. The details of her tattered long-sleeved dress -  from the gentle ripples of cloth near the bottom of the dress where it meets the ground, to where it bunches around her elbow from where the sleeve is slightly raised – are all painted with such striking life, it’s hard to look away. There’s a delicate drape on top of her head, small wisps of her hair peeking out from underneath.

 

There’s also an intriguing slight upturn of her lips, a subtle smirk on her features – almost as if she knows something the onlookers don’t and her eyes – her eyes are a stunning grey that looks directly at whoever dares to pay attention to the painting. The entire mural is in vivid color – except for the old lady, who’s painted in strategic shades of black, white, and grey.

 

The bright lines of red and orange hues from the traffic and the yellow lighting that dots the skyscrapers in the background, the colorful umbrellas the passersby are using – they all contrast in such a powerful juxtaposition against the black and white old lady that makes the whole picture truly breathtaking.

 

After a couple more hours of Lauren working on details here and there, she finally finishes and joins Normani on the couch facing the mural while they eat straight out of the cartons of their Chinese takeout, both pairs of eyes looking at the painting – one of them in awe, the other scrutinizing her work, mentally making a note of how she can improve her shading on future projects or internally scolding herself for not putting enough detail on the woman’s hands.

 

“So,” Normani starts. “Why aren’t you painting, like, professionally again?”

 

Lauren doesn’t bother finishing chewing before she responds. “That’s not really a very dependable career path, Mani. I got bills to pay, girl.” The raven-haired girl has always had a way of letting out the truth disguised in light humor. She couldn’t really go into the arts after her mom risked so much for her to go to college so she can pursue a stable career. She definitely couldn’t pursue it now, not while she needs all the money she can get to get the best treatment for her mom.

 

Most of all, however, she’d never truly felt confident enough in her abilities. She always saw her painting skills as only slightly above-average, definitely not enough to make a living out of it. She guesses feeling inadequate might have something to do with not being good enough for her father, but she quickly dismisses that thought, choosing to focus on what she does have in the present.

 

And naturally, those thoughts lead to Camila. Before Normani has a chance to pry any further, she finds herself at the receiving end of Lauren gushing about Camila. How _she’s so smart, Mani. Like, she’s essentially running her father’s company and she’s not even president yet_. Normani’s heard enough of how the raven-haired girl is in awe of just about everything the girl does – her ambition, her drive, how she manages to keep her hair flawless even at the end of a tiring day, and really, Normani thinks that Lauren is only slightly kidding when Lauren says she’s convinced Camila’s like, secretly Supergirl or something.

 

Lauren talks about her so much that Normani can’t really be blamed for the next words that come out of her mouth, interrupting the green-eyed girl’s one-sided conversation about how Camila’s ass should be seriously considered as the eighth wonder of the world. _It’s HUGE, Mani. Like, gigantic!_

 

“So, are you guys, like, together?”

 

At the sudden question, Lauren blinks hard and fast and her mouth opens and closes as she thinks about how to answer, her hands still in the air because she was demonstrating just how big Camila’s butt actually is. Normani can see how she falters in the slightest bit, the light in her eyes dimming just enough to be noticeable to anyone who looks closely.

 

She brings her hands down and furrows her brows a bit when she answers, “No.”

 

“But you want to be.” It’s not a question. Normani says in the same way someone would say the sky is blue. Lauren’s lie dies in her throat when she looks up to meet Normani’s stare, challenging her to deny it. The raven-haired girl blames Normani’s lawyer skills in always getting her way in arguments. But also, the green-eyed girl has never been able to keep anything from Normani, they’re best friends for a reason so she decides it’s best to come clean. The girl would find a way to get it out of her anyway and she’s not really in the mood for her lawyer mind games at the moment.

 

“She doesn’t want strings,” the girl replies casually, as if the words don’t feel like bile in her mouth as they fall ungracefully from her lips, her usual confident tone nowhere to be found.

 

“Hm,” Normani ponders the other girl’s words for a short while, looking at her dejected friend before responding. “Well, maybe you just gotta show her what she’s missing,” she says as if it should be obvious.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Oh come on, Lo,” the girl gives her a slight shove. “Work some of that magic you got. Show her what it’s like to date Lauren Jauregui, and I promise you, she’ll be putty in your hands,” she wiggles her perfectly-sculpted eyebrows – really everything about Normani is perfect, Lauren thinks to herself – for effect.

 

Lauren thinks about it and figures her friend is right. She hasn’t done anything to explicitly show that she wants anything outside of their casual sex agreement so, maybe, she just has to up her game a bit.

 

She’ll show the brunette what it’s like to be with Lauren Jauregui.

 

 

*****

 

“Fuck,” Camila gasps out against Lauren’s neck as she slumps her very tired, very satisfied, and very naked body onto Lauren’s equally as spent and naked figure after her fifth – actually she lost count after the third one – orgasm for the night. She hears the girl chuckle below her but she doesn’t have the energy to respond to her smugness at the moment so she focuses on bringing herself down from yet another high.

 

They’d reunited in the best way possible after almost two weeks of not being able to really see one another once they’ve finally secured some time alone. It’s Saturday and they’ve just dropped off Sofi in the airport that afternoon after the younger Cabello had spent all week at Camila’s, and they’re now taking advantage of their newfound freedom.

 

The brunette is still slumped over the green-eyed girl’s body while she tries to catch her breath, her body slick with sweat and thrumming with desire, while the older girl runs soothing circles across her bare back. She’s enjoying the mere proximity to the girl, her touch gentle and yet euphoric, never failing to ignite something within Camila in the most agonizingly beautiful way – a slow and lasting burn that the brunette craves like a drug.

 

When she’s sure she’s gotten her heartbeat to a normal rate, she sits up, keeping her legs on either side of the older girl as she straddles her, the green-eyed girl’s hands immediately finding her bare thigh, tracing her slender fingers along the marks she’d made there with a smirk on her face.

 

“You enjoying yourself?” Camila asks with an amused glint in her eyes.

 

“Very much so actually,” Lauren replies without missing a beat, dragging her eyes up to meet Camila’s and the brunette should really be used to it. Except she’s not. She can’t help the way her breath hitches in her throat when those bright green eyes focus on her like there’s nothing else around them. Like nothing matters but the two of them.

 

And right on cue, the raven-haired girl immediately furrows her brows. “You okay?” she asks in a gentle voice, one hand moving to caress her side, her movement soft and soothing, while the other moves up to trace a finger along her furrowed brows, easing the creases on her forehead, a habit she’d formed quickly when hanging out with Camila.

 

How the girl instantly notices the slightest bit of change in her demeanor, the brunette will never understand – how easily in-tune she is with Camila in a way that the brunette doesn’t even think she knows herself is a frightening thought to the younger girl. This girl is shamelessly tearing her boundaries without abandon, giving no consideration whatsoever about the fact that Camila has so carefully crafted the defenses to her heart.

 

“Yeah,” the brunette clears her throat and gives the green-eyed girl a small smile. The girl studies her for a bit, before smiling back and taking her hands to intertwine on top of her thighs.

 

“So I was thinking,” the raven-haired girl starts as she studies their hands.  There’s an undertone of nervousness in her voice and it piques Camila’s interest. The girl is rarely ever nervous, especially not in the bedroom.

 

“That’s good,” the brunette teases the girl gently, hoping to ease her nerves.

 

The older girl rolls her eyes and meets the girl’s brown ones once more. “There’s this street art fair tomorrow and I was planning to go.”

 

“That sounds very Lauren,” the girl chuckles.

 

“Will you come with me? Normani is sick of me and Zayn’s out of town.” The older girl powers through it, hopes her voice doesn’t give away just how nervous she is.

 

“Hm,” Camila unlinks one of their hands to bring a finger to her chin in fake-contemplation, she doesn’t miss the way the raven-haired girl pouts at the action. The brunette has admittedly missed spending time with the older girl so it wasn’t really a hard decision to make, so she goes for it. She’s broken every rule she’s set for herself anyway. “Sure,” she shrugs easily, and at the way the girl’s body instantly relaxes underneath her – her smile wide on her features with a soft blush on her bunched cheeks, well, Camila figures she’d made the right decision.

 

 

*****

 

 

The street art fair is crowded and brightly-colored with a wide selection of different pieces of art that range from paintings to sculptures to abstract creations and it’s a little too warm for winter in New York for Camila’s liking. There’s a burly, half-naked man walking around with a cardboard sign hung around his neck that reads “My body is art” and there are several teenagers spraying one another with water guns that _definitely_ don’t contain water. It’s all a bit chaotic and a little crazy.

 

But Lauren’s eyes are bright and her smile hasn’t left her face since they’ve started walking through the fair, her hold on Camila’s hands tight and her excitement clear in the way she rambles about the history of street art and different graffiti artists she’s met. _I’ve seen like sixty percent of Banksy’s street work in person, Camz! They’re all so powerful and awesome!_ Lauren’s excitement undoubtedly makes everything infinitely more bearable.

 

Lauren watches the art, marveling in its diversity and all the different ways people have chosen to express their souls, while Camila watches Lauren, marveling at the way her lips move enchantingly and her green eyes shine under the sun. She figures it’s the same thing.

 

The raven-haired girl brought her Polaroid camera – because of course, she has a Polaroid camera, she’s _that_ girl – and they take countless pictures, many of them out of focus as they laugh into one another more than concentrate on getting a decent picture. Lauren makes Camila pose with a bunch of questionable art pieces and even more suspect artists and the brunette complies without much protest – Lauren’s pout and her pleading eyes too much for _anyone_ to handle, so she thinks she can’t be blamed.

 

They take a selfie with a giant mural of the New York skyline in the background, only the top half of their faces visible near the bottom of the picture, as they fail to align the camera correctly once again.

 

Despite not being able to actually see their smiles, Camila takes the photo in her hand later that day and she can see the happiness radiate off of their eyes as they laugh about something she can’t even remember, the sides of their faces pressed close against one another. Lauren is looking at the camera, her beanie slightly crooked at the point where Camila is leaning against her head, her face slightly turned towards the raven-haired girl, eyes closed in bliss.

 

While going through the pictures as they walk to their next destination, Camila also notices that Lauren has taken multiple candid shots of her, seemingly always in the right place at the right time to catch the brunette in the most beautiful light Camila has ever seen herself. How Lauren manages to always show a side of Camila that even the brunette has a hard time seeing, the younger girl could never fully understand.

 

She runs her fingers across the picture delicately as she observes it with curious eyes. She’s sat on a ledge near the end of the street, her feet hanging off the ground and her hands resting on the concrete by her thighs. Her head is turned to the side, her attention on a mime that’s trying to make her laugh. There’s a gentle smile on her face and her side profile is being bathed in the soft hue of the setting sun, the rays bouncing off of her brown eyes beautifully.

 

She’s never seen herself so happy.

 

Her thoughts are broken when she feels Lauren abruptly pull the picture from her grasp and she looks up with a frown. “Hey!”

 

“That one’s for me, Cabello,” the green-eyed girl says as she keeps the photo out of reach from the girl. “Unless you wanna keep a picture of _yourself_? That’s a little narcissistic, Camz,” her smile is teasing and Camila huffs, crossing her arms in mock-annoyance. “Oh, don’t pout, baby,” Lauren coos as she pinches the girl’s cheeks. “Here, you can have a picture of me,” she says cheekily.

 

Camila immediately snatches the picture from the green-eyed girl and ignores her protests of _Hey, I was just kidding!_

 

The picture is one Camila had taken during one of the rare times Lauren let her hold her camera, too entranced by the painting in front of her to care. It’s a photo of Lauren standing in front of a huge mural that so vividly paints the class gap in a striking painting of a New York that shows a tale of two cities, the poverty line quite literally visible where it runs between a run-down part of town on one side, where homelessness and crime are rampant, and the more affluent side of the city on the other, skyscrapers and luxury cars dotting the streets.

 

The side of the green-eyed girl’s face is visible enough to capture the pain that crosses her features as she stares at the painting, her eyes expressive as ever, her emotions clear as day as she wears her heart on her sleeve. It’s something Camila has always been envious about Lauren – how she’s able to be vulnerable, to be true to how she feels.

 

She wonders about how freeing it must be.

 

“Nope,” Camila tuts as she pockets the picture, out of the green-eyed girl’s reach. “This is mine now,” she says as she sticks her tongue out at the girl.

 

“Okay, fine,” Lauren laughs and brings her hands up in surrender. “Let’s just go to our next destination then,” she says excitedly as she grabs Camila’s hand and leads them through the crowd and out of the fair.

 

 

 

Their “next destination,” Camila finds out soon enough is a hole-in-the-wall type of bar with a small pool hall on one side, a couple billiard games ongoing at some of the tables. It’s nearing nine at night by the time they actually leave the fair and arrive at the bar so Lauren and Camila opt to sit at a two-person pub table, ordering a sandwich and a glass of beer each.

 

The bar is known to locals for its wide selection of beers from all around the nation and across the globe, providing drinks with which tourists can happily have a piece of home. There are also various art pieces hung around the place, their prices in neat print on the lower right corner of each frame. The place is packed, but not suffocating, just enough life buzzing within the place to have a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.

 

“This place is neat,” Camila says around a mouthful of sandwich. “It’s like a pool house, bar, restaurant, and art museum all rolled into one,” she says as she swallows her food. “How’d you find this place anyway?”

 

“My friend, Normani,” Lauren starts as she works on her own sandwich. “She knows I’m into art stuff-”

 

“Hipster,” Camila coughs out.

 

Lauren rolls her eyes but can’t help the smile that forms on her lips. “And she recommended me the place,” she shrugs. “These art pieces you see?” Lauren gestures to the various paintings and sketches around the room. There are human portraits, landscapes, and the occasional abstract work. “The guy who owns this place has a deal with small-time artists. He gets them the needed publicity, and in return, their art pieces bring him more customers. This place has grown to be known not just for its beer, but also for the various art pieces that change almost every week.”

 

“That’s so cool,” Camila says as she takes another look around.

 

“Yup,” Lauren pops her “p” with a wide smile.

 

They carry on the rest of the night much of the same way, with easy, lighthearted conversation. They talk about the artworks they saw throughout the day, though most of that part of the conversation was from Lauren. Camila can’t complain, however. It’s mesmerizing watching the other girl talk about something so passionately, so full of life.

 

When they finish their meals, they move to the pool hall and Lauren secures them a table. The green-eyed girl takes the opportunity to pull a move on the brunette, smoothly moving behind Camila, invading her personal space under the guise of teaching her how to handle a pool cue correctly.

 

The brunette, yielding as ever, embraces the intimacy of it all. She basks in the girl’s warmth as the older girl stands almost flush against her back as they both lean over the table, one of the raven-haired girl’s hands steady on her hip, while the other is clasped over her own hand as the older girl shows her how to properly aim the cue and pull it back in preparation for taking a shot. The girl’s breath is warm against the back of her neck and it takes a good amount of willpower on the brunette’s part not to close her eyes and let the girl take her right there and then.

 

When Lauren pulls the stick back with Camila still holding onto it and guides her hand to make a shot, Camila feels a rising heat shoot through her body at the sensual way Lauren’s body moves against her, her fingers still tightly curled around her own. The raven-haired girl then moves away from her, finally giving her room to breathe, and addresses her with a smile, as if she wasn’t just on the verge of lighting her whole body on fire.

 

“See? Just like that. You’ll get the hang of it, Camz,” she says with an innocent smile, although the glimmer in her eyes tells Camila that she knows exactly what she was doing.

 

Camila takes a couple more practice shots, with Lauren giving her pointers here and there. She’s a fast learner, Lauren thinks as she watches the girl get used to handling the cue. “Okay,” she claps her hands together excitedly. “Why don’t we make this interesting?” Lauren asks with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

 

“Okay, shoot,” Camila replies as she sets the bottom end of the stick against the floor, leaning on it casually as she cocks her head to the side in curiosity.

 

“You versus me, but with some stakes to it,” she says with a wicked grin.

 

“Okay, what’s the catch?”

 

“How about,” the raven-haired girl pretends to think for a minute, before finally continuing. “Whoever loses has to tell the winner a secret – something that not very many people know about you.”

 

“That sounds lame,” Camila deadpans.

 

“Hm, what’s that you say? It sounds a lot like you’re saying you’re a scaredy-cat.” The green-eyed girl says with a teasing smile on her face.

 

“I can’t tell if you’re twenty-seven or seven sometimes,” the brunette chuckles. “But sure, you’re on,” the girl replies with a smile.

 

“Awesome!”

 

Lauren breaks the rack and immediately pockets a striped ball. She sends the brunette a smirk, who only waves her off when she leans down to take another shot. She pockets three additional striped balls before she finally misses and it’s Camila’s turn.

 

The brunette walks around the pool table as she slowly surveys the remaining solid balls on the table. Then, a mischievous smile forms on her face as she settles in position to take her first shot and the raven-haired girl can’t believe her eyes.

 

It’s like the girl transforms in slow motion – where her movement was awkward and unsure before, it’s now assured and confident as she leans over with the finesse of someone who knows exactly what she’s doing.

 

The brunette skillfully places the cue in between her fingers and takes a sure hold on the stick’s back end as she leans down to eye her target, and with one smooth motion, she pulls back and takes a shot, easily pocketing an awkwardly positioned ball after bouncing it off the railing with the perfect angle, the cue ball rolling to another strategic area on the table from where she can easily make another shot.

 

Lauren stands slack-jawed as she watches the girl almost glide around the table, pocketing one ball after the other until only the eight ball is left, and soon, that too is gone. Camila stands up straight with a triumphant smile and leans on her cue when she meets shocked green eyes. “Well, pay up, Jauregui.”

 

Lauren snaps out of her trance and shakes her head with a laugh. “You, Cabello, are a scam artist!”

 

Camila laughs at that, head thrown back and eyes crinkled in amusement, the perfect picture of carefree. “Well, you should take it easy on your fuckgirl moves next time,” it’s her turn to shake her head and click her tongue disapprovingly at the girl. “So, I believe you owe me a secret,” she whispers the last part conspiratorially, as if she didn’t want the rest of the bar to hear her.

 

“Okay, okay, I concede,” Lauren responds easily as she moves to the stand next to the still-smirking girl. She takes a deep breath before meeting Camila’s brown eyes. “I may or may not have a painting up here,” she says quietly, eyes moving down on the floor when she finishes.

 

At her admission, Camila’s eyes widen and she puts both hands on the girl’s shoulders in excitement, “Wait! Really? That’s so cool! Which one is it?”

 

Lauren’s heart feels light at Camila’s reaction. She doesn’t know what she was expecting but she’d always been her own biggest critic and she feels like she’s revealing a part of her soul anytime she has a piece of her art out for anyone to see. It’s relieving and exhilarating all at the same time that Camila seems excited about it.

 

She smiles at the girl while directing her attention to one corner of the bar with her head. Near the center of the wall behind the bartender’s area is a painting of a small child in a yellow raincoat and bright red rain boots, holding a matching red umbrella that’s tilted to the side so it’s barely covering her. She’s the epitome of carefree, playing under the rain while the city life around her, painted in black and white to contrast against her bright colors, are all rushing to get away from the rain.

 

“Holy shit! That’s fucking incredible, Laur!” Camila exclaims as she marvels at the piece. Then a flash of excitement crosses her features and she grabs Lauren’s hands when she says, “I wanna buy it! How much is it?” her eyes are bright and her smile wide, it almost pains Lauren to let her know that it’s not quite for sale.

 

“It’s the only one here that’s actually not for sale, Camz,” she tells the girl, who proceeds to immediately pout.

 

“Wait, why?”

 

“Let’s just say I owe the guy a favor,” she shrugs. “So I paid him with this piece, basically.”

 

“Aw,” Camila pouts even more as she turns to eye the piece longingly.

 

“Okay, how about this,” Lauren says as she moves behind the girl and rests her hands on the brunette’s hips while she leans forward to whisper in her ear. “I’ll paint you whatever you want next time.”

 

“H-how much will it cost me?” the brunette manages to stutter out while Lauren’s ministrations overwhelm her senses. The girl’s breath on her neck feels hot against her skin and the taller girl’s grip on her waist sends a tingling sensation up her spine.

 

“I can tell you that it won’t be money,” the girl husks against her ear.

 

 

*****

 

After hanging out for another couple hours, Lauren finally drives Camila home. The older girl takes her hand and intertwines them immediately when they get out of the car as the raven-haired girl walks the brunette up to her apartment building’s door.

 

Camila watches their intertwined hands and looks up to see that Lauren is already staring at her with those soft green eyes once they stop in front of her building. “This feels like a date,” Camila says jokingly.

 

When Lauren only stays quiet and gives her a small smile, Camila studies the girl in front of her with furrowed brows. “Lauren…” she starts, and the way she says it, it’s like she’s ready to shoot down something that hasn’t started. “You know what this –” she gestures with the hand still holding Lauren’s between the two of them. “-is, right?”

 

The raven-haired girl shrugs, casual and relaxed as ever, as if she’s not causing a mayhem within Camila. “I know-”

 

“Rule number one in our agreement is no feel-”

 

“No feelings. I know,” Lauren interrupts her, but her voice is gentle and there’s a small smile on her face. She takes a deep breath and looks up from their intertwined hands to meet Camila’s eyes and she sees the panic in them. She wants nothing more than to ease that panic and tell her that she was just kidding after all. That she doesn’t really want to date the girl.

 

It’d be easier that way – she can see that Camila is ready to fight this.

 

But she thinks about her mom and thinks about how short life can be – she realizes that she’s willing to fight back. For every time that Camila tries to push her away, she’ll be there to let the girl know that she’s here to stay – that she’s here for the long run.

 

“Would it be so bad if we gave this a real try?” Lauren asks and Camila allows herself to imagine for a moment what it would be like to totally let her guard down. To be with Lauren without the pretense that all there is between them is sex and nothing more. To acknowledge to herself that every touch sends a fire through her chest, every soft gaze sends her mind reeling, and every gentle smile takes her breath away.

 

And then she gets back to her reality – one where she knows that Lauren is too good for her. She can’t be the one to taint that happiness. Not until she’s fixed herself first. She’ll be nothing but a burden to the girl.

 

Camila pulls her hand away and pretends not to notice the flash of hurt that crosses Lauren’s features. “All we’ve done is have sex,” she scoffs. “We don’t know anything about each other,” she exclaims.

 

“Isn’t that the point of dating? To get to know each other?”

 

“Wha- I don-”

 

“And that’s not entirely true,” Lauren interrupts her before she can come up with a good retort. “We know more about each other than you think. I definitely know you more than you realize,” and when the other girl crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow in silent question, the raven-haired girl puts up a finger and starts listing.

 

“I know that you talk in your sleep,” she starts with a smile and ignores Camila rolling her eyes. “I know that you absolutely love your job even if it’s a lot of work. You’re a great cook, you can’t sleep without some sort of light on, and speaking of sleep, you thrash around like a crazy woman at night if you were particularly stressed that day,” she smirks when she sees the girl blush and continues to list things as she counts with her fingers. “You act like this tyrant at work, but I know that you secretly give your employees bonuses-”

 

“How do you-”

 

“Because you really do appreciate the people that work for you,” Lauren powers through Camila’s attempted interruption. “You like a hint of vanilla in your otherwise black coffee, you like to dance while cooking, you’re in love with Ed Sheeran-”

 

Camila shakes her head, as if by doing so, she can erase everything that Lauren is saying. She’s speechless at how much Lauren has managed to gather from their time together. She’d convinced herself that what they had was shallow and the stares and the innocent touches didn’t mean anything. It would have made this so much easier.

 

“We – we can’t, Laur,” she’s breathing in quick, shallow breaths now. The situation feeling like a heavy weight on her chest.

 

“Why not?” Lauren asks. “At least we already know we’re good in bed together,” she says cheekily, hoping to calm the increasingly panicking brunette.

 

“I don’t do relationships,” Camila manages to get out as she tries to steady her breathing, doing her best to meet Lauren’s eyes when she responds.

 

Lauren looks at her and Camila internally falters under the woman’s gaze. The way she’s looking at Camila – it’s disarming. Like she knows for a fact that even Camila doesn’t believe what she herself is saying, that her excuses are nothing but empty words. That she knows how good they would be together. She studies her closely as if to tell her through her eyes that she can see right past all the bullshit, that she knows that Camila is just scared. She’s terrified of letting people in and she’s even more afraid that it may already be too late, that Lauren has already wormed her way into her heart.

 

“You really don’t want to give this a chance?” Lauren asks her seriously, those piercing eyes never leaving her own. The brunette gathers every bit of strength she has within her to come off as resolute and determined as she can. She looks at those green eyes that she’s gotten lost in so many times before, pleading yet determined as she lays her heart out for Camila to take.

 

“I’m sorry, Lo.” She turns and heads inside her building without so much as another look back where she left Lauren standing on her own.

 

That night, Camila lies in bed wide awake as she thinks about her day with Lauren. She thinks about how easy it was, how light she felt, how she’d looked at a picture of herself and could see the happiness in her own eyes again after so long.

 

She looks to her side and sighs at the empty sheets where Lauren usually lies when they’re together and she immediately misses the girl’s warmth. She thinks about what it would be like if she weren’t so scared, if only she had the courage to wear her heart on her sleeve the way Lauren seems to do so effortlessly. For a moment, she indulges in a world where she takes chances as she lays her eyes closed and prepares herself for the rough night ahead.

 

When she wakes up only two hours later in a familiar cold sweat, she can’t say that she’s surprised. Maybe Lauren has a stronger hold over her heart than she’d like to admit.

 

 

 

 

****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n:
> 
> It’s been, like, a month since I last updated this and for that, I apologize. I promise I haven’t forgotten about this fic.
> 
>  
> 
> I’ll probably update this with another chapter or two before I even start thinking about another one shot to make up for the long wait. Hopefully, it won’t be another month before the next update.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, I’d love to hear what you guys think of this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to vote/comment/give feedback if you feel like it!
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you all have a great night/morning!
> 
>  
> 
> wattpad: jaureguicabello5eva
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox


	6. Part Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: graphic description; mention of death

 

Camila knew it was going to be hard. She _knew_ this.

 

She had missed out on being with Lauren for almost two weeks and she nearly lost her mind. And it’s not even necessarily because the green-eyed girl is good in bed – okay, she’s _really_ good in bed and the brunette may or may not miss her passion – but the point is that, even if Lauren had no idea what to do with her fingers, Camila thinks she’d still have a hard time not being able to just _be_ with the girl.

 

Lauren is just a great human being overall – she’s compassionate, intelligent, silly, kind, terrible in the kitchen, good in conversation, amazing at art – there are many facets to her personality that keeps Camila on her toes and pulls her in to look deeper into the girl’s world.

 

The older girl can be mysterious when she wants, but for the most part, she’s pretty transparent with her feelings, something Camila had always admired – and maybe even envied.

 

It’s been a week since she’s turned Lauren down and she misses the girl immensely. She misses the conversation, the inappropriate jokes, the great sex, the stolen glances at work that promise an impromptu office meet-up later on in the day – she misses messy-haired, raspy-voiced Lauren in the morning. She misses the burned cookies, her carefree laugh, the way the girl pays attention to her like she’s the center of the universe – she misses it all.

 

Most of all, she misses feeling safe – the security that the green-eyed girl brings when they sleep together at night, bodies spent and tucked into one another. Camila misses the way Lauren soothes her forehead every time she furrows her brows when she’s stressed. She misses the peace of mind. She’d taken all of it – she’d taken _Lauren_ – for granted and she wishes she’d paid more attention, recognized what she had before she so carelessly threw it all away.

 

Suffice to say, it hasn’t been a good week.

 

So when she’s walking back to her office that Friday afternoon and catches Lauren talking with Keana, Dinah’s secretary from Finance, she grips her mug a little tighter and the pain in her chest grows a little bigger.

 

They’re standing by the copy machine, Keana shamelessly standing in Lauren’s personal space while the other girl all but allows it to happen. To the green-eyed girl’s credit, she’s always been the type to give whoever she’s talking to her full attention. She has this way of making anyone in her company feel important – it’s all very effortless on her part and flattering on whoever has her attention.

 

Camila can tell Keana is flirting, even when she can’t hear what they’re saying. Keana’s striking light brown eyes are focused on Lauren’s, dipping down on the raven-haired girl’s lips every once in a while and her entire body language is open and accommodating, giving Lauren every invitation she needs. There’s a subtle smolder in her eyes, a smirk on her plump lips when she speaks, and she brings a hand to touch Lauren whenever she sees the opportunity, whether it’s to touch her hair or playfully slap her when the dark-haired girl undoubtedly says something inappropriate.

 

Camila drags her eyes away from them and forces herself to go back to her office without throwing her mug their way. She thinks that’ll make it too obvious.

 

And because her week isn’t bad enough, it only gets worse as she’s getting ready to leave the office later that afternoon. She gets a call from a frantic Alfred, and she’s able to decipher from his incoherent mumblings that his wife has been rushed to hospital yet again. Her condition has only gotten worse and Camila didn’t even have to think about it when she sent him home with her car and gave him the next few days off (with pay) so he can spend time with his wife.

 

The only problem now is that she doesn’t have a ride. Ally and Dinah have gone home, and it’s not like she can call Lauren. She’s still angry with the girl anyway. She knows she doesn’t have the right, but that doesn’t mean she can help herself.

 

She sighs tiredly and looks at the clock on her computer. It’s a little past five and she thinks she’ll be stuck in a cab for hours if she leaves now. She figures she might as well stay late and get some work done and wait out the peak of rush hour.

 

A few hours later and Camila is ready for the weekend. She’d foregone dinner, too absorbed in her work to worry about taking care of herself and she’s more than willing to brave whatever is left of New York traffic, her body craving the comfort of her bed. She’s hoping that she’d overworked herself to a point where she can just lie down and pass out, bypass her usual nightmares and be able to breathe in the morning for once.

 

She’s focused on her phone when she’s walking through the lobby so she doesn’t notice at first. It’s when the late-night security guard that stands by the reception desk greets her that she first lifts her head up to answer. It’s then that she spots familiar dark locks on one of the sofas in the lobby.

 

The brunette walks over hesitantly and sure enough, sat on the sofa is Lauren, barely keeping her head up as she nods ever so slightly, very much on the verge of sleep.

 

“Lauren?” she asks just loud enough to rouse the girl, who immediately sits up straight and looks around. When her eyes look up to meet Camila’s, her smile is instantaneous and the brunette’s heart melts at the sight. She hasn’t been at the receiving end of that smile in a week and it’s almost as if she’s forgotten just how mesmerizing Lauren’s eyes can be now that she gets to look into them again.

 

She has to remind herself to breathe and indulges in the moment – she can't help but savor these next few seconds during which Lauren's attention is on her - like it's always been.

 

The raven-haired girl stands up and straightens her clothes. “Hey, Camz.” Her smile is bright and all Camila ever wants is for that smile to be directed towards her forever – easy and relaxed as always, as if they both don’t know that Camila holds the green-eyed girl’s heart in her hands. Lauren is looking at Camila like the brunette hadn’t rejected her earlier in the week – like they were back to before, when they had so carelessly pretended that there were no lingering feelings between them.

 

"What are you still doing here? It's almost ten," Camila asks as she fiddles with the strap of her handbag.

 

Lauren shrugs and looks around, “I could ask you the same thing.”

 

The brunette rolls her eyes, the ghost of a smile on her lips. “I was working late. What’s your excuse?”

 

“You were working late,” Lauren answers without missing a beat. “So I decided to wait.”

 

“Wh-”

 

“I heard Alfred had to rush to the hospital.”

 

Camila narrows her eyes. “How do you know that?”

 

“I have my ways,” she says with that smirk Camila loves to hate, firmly in place. “So, you need a ride?”

 

Camila studies the girl in front of her – how she always seems to put Camila first, even when they’re not on good terms. She wishes the girl would stop spending so much time on her, but at the same time, she wishes she could also just be selfish for once. She wishes she could look Lauren in the eye, take her hand, and tell her that _yes_ , she wants to be with the raven-haired girl. Camila’s never wanted to be with anyone as much as she wants to be with the girl in front of her. She wishes that she could give her heart out as freely as Lauren, take it from its confines in her ribcage and hand it over to the raven-haired girl.

 

Camila wants to give her heart to the girl without reservation, damage and trauma and all. She wants to say, _Here, take it. It’s a little messed up and rough around the edges, but it’s all yours. It’s been yours the moment I realized what you do to me. How you give me peace in my heart and my soul and quiet down the chaos that is rampant in my mind. Take it. I know you’ll take care of it._

She thinks it’s too good to be true. But for now, Lauren is here, and she’s smiling at her again, and she’ll take what she can get.

 

“You waited here because you found out I don’t have a ride?”

 

“Yeah,” Lauren responds easily. It’s always a wonder to Camila how the green-eyed girl makes everything so much simpler. She needs a ride, so Lauren is here. That’s it. Never mind the fact that they haven’t spoken a word outside of short greetings every now and then for the past week.

 

“Well, if you’re offering,” Camila offers the girl a small smile.

 

 

 

The ride to Camila's apartment is silent in a way that neither of them is used to – it's awkward and uncomfortable and the brunette can't help but fidget in her seat. This territory is unfamiliar and distressing – she's never felt anything else _but_ comfort with the green-eyed girl but now that she’s in the older girl’s presence, she can’t help but think about what she saw earlier.

 

Her irritation builds as she takes a quick glance to her left and sees that the girl is softly nodding to the light music that’s playing through her car’s speakers, fingers tapping on the steering wheel as if Camila isn’t having an internal battle. Her delicate features are being bathed in the soft glow of the night lights as the car passes through the city lights in a blur of reds and yellows. Camila wonders if there will ever be a time when Lauren’s beauty stops taking her breath away.

 

"So," the brunette clears her throat and hopes that the tension she feels in her body isn't evident in her tone. She thinks she's failing by the way Lauren raises an eyebrow and studies her briefly, a flash of concern in her eyes, before returning her attention on the road. "Did you need something from Finance today?" she manages to asks without clenching her jaw too much.

 

Lauren furrows her brow in confusion and she’s hesitant when she answers, “Um…no? Why? What’s up?”

 

“Oh, nothing,” the brunette shakes her head. “I was just curious,” she shrugs her shoulders. She’s nailing this whole nonchalance act.

 

Lauren is pensive for a few moments before she turns her head to look at Camila at a red light, her eyes are curious and scrutinizing as she studies Camila, who’s using every ounce of willpower she has to keep her eyes in front of her as if the green-eyed girl isn’t boring holes on the side of her face.

 

When the light turns green, the raven-haired girl's attention is back on the road and after a few seconds, she lets out a small laugh, amused at the girl next to her.

 

“What’s so funny?” Camila asks, her irritation growing. She’s being irrational, she knows. But she can’t help it, Lauren has always known which buttons to press to get a reaction out of her.

 

“You know,” Lauren starts as she licks her lips slowly, a smirk forming on her lips and Camila just wants to kiss it off. “Do I need to remind you that _you_ were the one that turned me down?” she asks with a light laugh with no malice in her tone.

 

“I know that,” Camila says indignantly, crossing her arms in front of her. “I don’t know how that’s related to anything.”

 

Lauren turns to her with a wide grin. “You don’t get to be jealous.”

 

Camila scoffs and splutters out incomprehensible sounds in further indignation. “I’m not- I don’t know what -,” she takes a breath to gather herself. “I am _not_ jealous. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her whole body feels tense – she feels incredibly wound up, the stress that’s built up in the past week finally catching up to her.

 

She’s clenching her jaw so hard Lauren is afraid she’s going to shatter her teeth.

 

“Of course,” Lauren nods patronizingly and Camila feels _heated._ She’s not jealous. Really, she isn’t. She just thinks Lauren can do better, is all. Sure, Keana is pretty and has perfect hair and has a banging body, but like, - okay, maybe she’s a little jealous. But she’s not going to say that out loud.

 

The rest of the ride to the brunette’s place is silent and Camila feels even more awkward than before. When they reach her building, she lets out a curt _Thanks_ and moves to grab the handle when she feels a warm hand take her own gently.

 

Lauren wraps her slender fingers around Camila’s delicately, carefully prying them open so she can intersperse their hands, their fingers fitting in between each other easily and comfortably, and Camila feels her universe slot back into place as their hands slowly close over one another’s.

 

She feels Lauren’s touch physically tether her back into reality from the constant disarray that is her mind and she can sense the tension leave her body in waves. Lauren tugs at her hand slightly and Camila brings her eyes up to look at the girl and there’s that smile that she’s always loved, the kind that’s soft around the edges and paired with gentle green eyes – the one that disarms her defenses in seconds and she has to remind herself to breathe, to calm her heart that’s beating to come out of her chest.

 

“For the record,” Lauren says in a gentle tone, her voice steady and convincing as she continues to stare at Camila’s eyes. “I was just helping out Keana earlier today.” There’s a small change in her smile and in the way she looks at Camila at her next words and the brunette would have missed it if she wasn’t so taken by everything that is Lauren. “You have absolutely _no_ competition, baby,” and Camila’s breath hitches in the back of her throat and her heart skips a beat.

 

“Laur,” she says softly as she battles with herself. Her words are failing her and she’s holding onto Lauren’s hand like she’s hanging on for dear life.

 

“You don’t do relationships, I know,” Lauren concedes with a sad smile. “But I just want to let you know that I’m not giving up on you, Cabello,” her smirk coming back. “I’m the one for you, and you’re gonna realize that sooner or later,” she winks at the girl while leaving a quick kiss on the back of the brunette’s hand before finally letting go. Camila instantly misses the contact and she swallows hard at the girl’s words. “Sweet dreams,” she sends her one final sweet smile before the brunette gets out of her car with a small thanks and her head an even bigger mess than before.

 

She watches Lauren’s car until it disappears around the corner and lugs her tired body into her building, immediately crashing onto her bed when she enters her apartment. She lays staring at the ceiling before she takes the koala that Lauren won for her and hugs it close to her chest. It’s the closest thing she can get to Lauren and it’ll have to do.

 

She thinks about what Lauren said to her and how she said it – like she’s not meant to do anything else but make Camila realize that they belong together.

 

_I’m not giving up on you, Cabello._

Camila wonders if she’s serious and how far she’s willing to go.

 

 

*****

 

Lauren Jauregui is nothing if not persistent.

 

So when she said she wasn’t giving up on Camila, she’d meant every word. It had hurt at first when the brunette hadn’t exactly been receptive to her feelings, but she’d half-expected it. The panic in the girl’s eyes, how she closes herself off whenever she can – Lauren had seen all the signs, had been made aware of it.

 

Camila is scared to let people in and Lauren gets that. She just has to show the girl that she’s going to be there to take the leap with her – they’d jump together and fall together. Lauren thinks Camila is worth it.

 

The raven-haired girl has devised a plan to get to Camila’s heart and she figures the easiest way to it is through the girl’s closest friends.

 

She’d cornered Dinah and Ally whenever she can at work, “running into them” at the most convenient places and using her charm and personality to get them to be comfortable enough to talk to her. She’s already pretty good friends with them, having spent a good amount of time with them during the few months that she’s worked for CCI, but it didn’t hurt to turn up the charisma to get the information she wants.

 

She’d subtly bring Camila into their many conversations and even more sneakily tries to get the girls to tell the things about the brunette that she usually doesn’t share – what does she like? What are things she _doesn’t_ like? What’s her _real_ favorite food, artists she loves but doesn’t mention, type of music she listens to when she feels down – and the like. It doesn’t take long, however, before she’s found out.

 

Dinah and Ally are extremely intuitive people, having grown up in and currently working in a corporate world and they didn't miss the way Lauren's eyes lit up almost instantly at the mere mention of the brunette, causing a raised eyebrow or two from the girl's best friends. The way the green-eyed girl talks about Camila, it's captivating and most of all, inspiringly sincere – almost as if just thinking about the brown-eyed girl is enough to bring a smile to her face.

 

_“So what are your intentions with Chancho?” the blonde Polynesian asks a wide-eyed Lauren as she narrows her eyes at her and crosses her arms across her chest._

_Lauren stills her hands in the air as she had been in the middle of explaining something that she can’t even remember now when Dinah decided to interrupt her. She splutters out a response that isn’t exactly her best. “What are my – I – um – who are you calling a pig?”_

_“Camila,” the answers impatiently. “What are your intentions with her?”_

_“I’m – uh – we weren’t even talking about her?” the green-eyed girl asks in confusion as she brings a hand to run through her dark tresses, suddenly feeling nervous._

_“Yeah well, I’m tired of beating around the bush,” the taller girl says while Ally just looks on as she bites her lip, ready to tell Dinah to tone it down if it gets out of hand but at the same time, she’s curious about Lauren’s answer as well. “When you **do**_ _talk about her, it’s obvious there’s something there,” she gestures vaguely towards the girl. “Don’t think that we don’t know that y’all get freaky behind closed doors.”_

_“Dinah!” Ally admonishes her friend softly._

_Dinah rolls her eyes and raises an eyebrow at Lauren. “We know about your little arrangement, so why are you asking all these things that don’t seem to fit within the scope of your deal?”_

_At the mention of their agreement, Lauren stumbles a bit, being suddenly reminded that Camila hadn’t wanted anything more. “Um, yeah well,” she clears her throat. “I’m asking you about her because I plan on pursuing her. Like, for real. I want to be with her,” she says sincerely._

_The two friends exchange a worried look before softening at Lauren’s hopeful tone. “She’s going through a lot and that causes her to do some things that may not be in her best interest, but are you sure you want to do this?” It’s Ally’s turn to finally contribute to the conversation._

_“No yeah, I mean, I know there’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” Lauren easily admits. “But I also know there’s something there like you said,” she answers as she turns back to Dinah. “Something between us that’s special and I know she feels it too. I just have to make her realize that,” she explains to the girls before her. And there it is again. Ally and Dinah watch how easily her green eyes turn soft and light up at the mere mention of the girl._

_They’ve been worried about their friend for a while and maybe this girl can help her. Maybe Lauren is just what she needs._

_It didn’t take much after that for the three to essentially work together to help Lauren be in the best position to “woo” Camila._

 

Lauren has ingrained the things she’s learned about the girl into her mind and has been in the process of gathering her favorite things in the week that she’d been “ignoring” the brunette. After being able to talk to the brunette again when the green-eyed girl offered to drive her home, she’d gathered the necessary boost of confidence to finally commence the plan she’d been working on.

 

And it goes like this.

 

When Camila walks into her office and finds takeout from her favorite restaurant, which is an hour outside of Manhattan, and one Lauren Jauregui sitting across from her desk as the older girl opens the boxes of food, she’s a little more than confused.

 

One of her favorite memories from her childhood was her father taking her out to eat at this hole-in-the-wall Cuban restaurant outside of the main city with just the two of them. They'd bond as she listened with eager ears and doe eyes while he recalled tales of his younger self and his adventures in Cuba before his parents moved them to Miami in search of a better life.

 

Being a technological prodigy at a young age, Alejandro Cabello used his newfound life in the land of opportunities to slowly build a global empire and the rest is history. Camila always looked forward to these one-on-one bonding times with her dad and even though speaking with her dad is a rare occurrence in her current life, she likes to look back on those days and remind herself that she once had a formidable relationship with her family.

 

Seeing the take-out from her favorite restaurant after not having been able to visit in months while Lauren is smiling at her as brightly as ever, she’s ambushed with a rush of emotions she can’t define.

 

“Wha – What are you doing here?” she asks as she moves to her side of the desk while the green-eyed girl continues to set up their food.

 

The raven-haired girl looks up and gestures to the food. "Well, it's lunchtime and bosses gotta eat too, right?" she winks at the girl.

 

Camila looks back near the glass wall of her office where the blinds are drawn to see out into the hallway and she sees an apologetic-looking Ally and a smirking Dinah as they gesture to her with wild hands, waving to their phones as a signal for Camila to check hers.

 

When she looks down at her phone and reads the text on their group chat that says, _Enjoy your lunch xoxo_ , she looks back up with a scowl to see her friends giving her a thumbs up.

 

“Come on, Camz,” Lauren urges the brunette from her seat. “The food’s getting cold.”

 

Camila sits down reluctantly and eyes the girl in front of her cautiously, whose smile only gets wider when the brunette makes a move to take her food, a ghost of a smile forming on the younger girl’s lips when she sees it’s her regular order. “When did you hijack my friends?” she asks with poorly-hidden amusement.

 

“My charming personality can be very useful,” the raven-haired girl answers with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

 

Camila is somewhat tense for the first part of the lunch. She’s not sure how to act around the girl, doesn’t know where they stand exactly. She knows whatever agreement they had before is out of the window and she still can’t accept what Lauren is offering, but she _has_ missed the girl and she can’t help but indulge in the girl’s presence. They fall into old habits easily, exchanging banter like no time has passed and trading glances that speak the words that their mouths are afraid to let go.

 

And that’s how it goes for the next few days – Lauren leaving Camila’s favorite things on her desk or the green-eyed girl sending flowers to the brunette’s apartment, complete with a small note on how the flowers’ meanings remind the older girl of the brunette. Lauren had even made a mix tape of her favorite songs, which the older girl had gathered from hanging out with Camila when they used to spend almost every night together and put them on a customized vinyl, remembering that the younger girl had a certain affinity for the old-school sound system.

 

It’s all very cheesy and thoughtful at the same time – it tugs at Camila’s heart and she doesn’t know what to do with it all.

 

 

*****

 

It’s been a rough few weeks for Camila.

 

She hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in what feels like forever and her feelings for Lauren continue to grow with every heartfelt gesture and her heart feels heavy and her head is a constant buzzing mess. Her father is on her case about closing a huge deal – never mind that she doesn’t even hold a senior position in the company, yet she’s still expected to carry the heavy load.

 

Dinah and Ally keep giving her worried looks and it’s irritating the fuck out of her. Every time she sees Lauren, there’s a painful tug in her heart – an agonizing burn that starts from deep within her chest as she gets torn between wanting to let all her defenses down and pushing the girl away completely.

 

She feels alive and suffocated at the same time – she feels the affection and concern from her friends and Lauren like a tight grip around her neck, cutting out the air from her lungs as she tries to desperately get free from the pitying eyes and the hopeful stares. Her heart feels tight in her chest, heavy with every emotion and every feeling she keeps trapped inside, her veins buzzing with suppressed energy, the kind that if not released, has a tendency to burst out in caustic words and biting tones – it’s all very overwhelming and she should have known it wasn’t going to take long before it all bubbled over the surface.

 

It didn’t help that she had a particularly rough night just a few hours before: her nightmares – no, her _memories_ – back in full force, relentless and unforgiving, reminding her that she hasn’t quite escaped her past, despite the temporary happiness her time with Lauren might have brought.

 

 

 

_Camila sits frozen in the waiting room, shoulders slumped as she stares ahead with red-rimmed eyes, her brown orbs devoid of life. Her clothes are ripped and heavily stained with dried blood, her body littered with cuts and bruises and reeks of gasoline as she waits in tense anticipation, her body feeling like a tightly-wound coil._

_There’s a fresh, deep gash running through her upper left chest that was re-stitched only an hour ago. She brings a trembling hand to run through her hair as she takes a shaky breath in a futile attempt to calm her racing heart, anything to lessen the weight she feels closing in on her._

_The emergency waiting room is not nearly as packed as it would be during normal hours, there’s only a small crowd sporting varying degrees of injury – it’s four in the morning after all. Breathing space is a luxury seldom seen in emergency rooms and despite being afforded this opportunity, Camila feels the walls of the room close in on her as her mind tries to replay the last few hours – her mind scrambling to untangle the blur of shattered glass, pained cries, crimson blood, flashing red and blue lights – her own heart ringing in her ears even as she tries to understand her current situation._

_She remembers bringing them all out of their cars. A total of five bodies not including herself, all struggling for life, groaning in agonizing pain as they waited desperately in the dead of the night for the help they thought at one point would never come. Camila could feel the life drain out of the people around her with every second that they waited and no sign of hope appeared for what felt like a lifetime._

_***Scene from the accident:_

_Camila sits helplessly as she looks around her. She herself only had a gash on her upper left chest, a pain she couldn't even feel at the time. Everyone else around her though? Every single one is suffering a near-fatal injury that she can't do anything about._

_Darryl Hampton, the driver of the semi-trailer truck that crashed into the car behind her has a deep cut running straight through his left eye._

_The driver that first hit her from the side wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and she had found him on the ground near the front of his car, his windshield shattered. He has a large head wound that’s soaking his entire face with blood and countless cuts throughout his body._

_The family of three – a father, a mother, and their teenage son – that was crushed in between her car and the semi are all sporting various broken bones. The teenage boy, who looks to be about seventeen years old or so, has both of his legs bent unnaturally, his lower leg bones snapped nearly in half and bursting through bloody, jagged skin. Oddly enough, the boy’s face doesn’t look too pained. Camila guesses he’s in shock._

_***_

_She’d dragged them all out of the crash site and into the safety of the side of the road, narrowly escaping a small explosion brought on by the leak on the truck involved in the crash – yet it hadn’t been enough._

_Now she’s sitting in the emergency room hoping and praying for some – for **any** – good news. Darryl is out of surgery but is still in critical condition. He’d arrested twice already and the doctors aren’t sure if he’ll survive a third one._

_The first driver that hit her had been pronounced dead on arrival._

_The teenager’s father didn’t survive surgery._

_His mother suffered the same fate not long after._

_She sat there with her heart aching and the rest of her body numb as each piece of dreadful news was delivered to her one by one, feeling like she was being physically torn to pieces every time the doctor approached her with a solemn face, his face as defeated as she feels._

_She’d let out her frustrations on the doctors after learning the mother had died too. She’d made a scene, yelling hysterically and throwing chairs even as a flood of tears cascaded through her bruised face, shoving and pushing anyone who tried to calm her down, her frantic movements causing her fresh stitches to rip open._

_(“Are any of you even real doctors?! Are they all gonna fucking die on your watch?! Somebody do something for fuck’s sake!”)_

_Now she's sat on her own, feeling numb and absolutely drained, waiting for a miracle. There are two left. Camila doesn't know if she'll be able to take the news should either – or God forbid – both of them die. The boy is still just a kid. He's got his whole life ahead of him – a life that is now hanging on a precariously thin thread._

_She's running through her head if she had somehow misjudged the streetlight. She had been positive at the beginning of the night that the light was green on her end. It was late and she was tired but she had been **sure** it was green on her end. She didn’t really slow down because she had seen as her car approached the intersection that it had just turned green._

_Now? She’s not so sure. Had she caused this accident? Had she caused the life of three people? Possibly more?_

_After waiting for a few more hours and as the sun began to rise on the horizon, Ally and Dinah arrive at the hospital, worried expressions on their faces as they take in Camila’s state. The brunette barely even registers when her friends gently pry her from her seat and drive her home, carefully urging her to shower and change before taking her back to the emergency room as they accompany her in the most agonizing wait they had ever gone through, both girls making an effort to get the brunette to talk, only to be answered by a blank stare and if they’re lucky, a sob that wracks and shakes her entire body. It’s a vicious cycle of Camila sobbing into one of them and then getting into a semi-catatonic state where she refuses to acknowledge either girl._

_Camila is brought out of her stupor as she’s approached by another group of doctors. There’s a slight smile on their faces, the brunette notes, her shattered heart filling with hope as she stands up hurriedly._

_“Darryl is still in critical condition but he hasn’t arrested in almost six hours, which is the longest he’d gone all night without going into cardiac arrest,” the doctor, who looks to be in his late thirties says with a kind smile, one the brunette registers as the kind that he’d probably used a thousand times on numerous anxious families. She wonders how many had been on the receiving end of that smile, the kind that gives hope, only to be taken away later when something inevitably goes wrong.  “We take that as a good sign for now, but he’s still being monitored very closely.”_

_“What about the kid?” Camila says in a hoarse voice, her throat protesting at the strain after being stressed for hours with the brunette’s hysterical cries._

_“As for Noah McKinley, he’s stable for now,” the doctor says, although something in his tone tells Camila that the news doesn’t end there. “We had originally thought that we could set his fracture with a few plates and rods, even as severe as they are, but we discovered that,” he clears his throat and looks Camila straight in the eye when he continues. “The accident seems to have severed the nerves on his lower back irreparably. We won’t know for sure until he wakes up.”_

_“So he’s – he could be…” Camila’s voice cracks and she’s unable to finish her sentence_

_“There’s a good chance he’s paralyzed from the waist down.”_

_The brunette blinks hard and fast, tears flowing in torrents down her face, her breathing erratic as her heart races against her chest. “He’s – he’s **seventeen** ,” she says helplessly, her voice desperate and pained. Her friends immediately go on either side of her in an attempt to comfort her and she doesn’t remember much of what happens next as she regresses to move on autopilot, her mind racing with relentless thoughts of everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours._

_She'd taken solace in the fact that at least Darryl survived and the kid too, even if he might lose his legs. And his parents. At least he's alive, right?_

_That comfort is ripped from her when she learns later on that Darryl losing complete vision on his left eye has permanently damaged his depth perception, making him unable to drive for long distances any more and eventually forcing him into early retirement._

_She also learns that Noah McKinley is a senior in high school who had won countless national championships for swimming – the night of the accident, he and his family had been on their way home from a dinner celebrating the news of a full scholarship to the University of Southern California as a top prospect for their swim team, a consistent powerhouse amongst universities nationwide in Division I swimming._

_Noah’s face as they tell him the news about his parents, followed by the very good chance that he’d never be able to use his legs again - how absolute pain and anguish fill his features - is an image that continues to haunt Camila in her dreams. She can still feel her heart constrict in the same way it did when she had witnessed the doctors deliver the news while Noah sat in his bed helplessly and how she’d felt completely responsible as she watched him try to remove the wires attached to him, frantically tapping his legs as if trying to bring them back to life._

 

Camila wakes up in a cold sweat, the rush of memories overwhelming her senses. She can feel her sleep shirt stick uncomfortably to her slick skin, her hair matted to the sides of her face as she brings a trembling hand to her throbbing head instinctively, the other immediately falling on her chest as a way to steady her thunderous heartbeat and also to feel the scar that serves as a reminder of that fateful night.

 

Her breathing continues to feel labored and she shuts her eyes tight as an attempt to reduce the stimulation on her senses, even as her chest feels tighter by the second. It's not long before she feels bile rise in her throat and she runs to her en-suite to empty the contents of her stomach. After dry-heaving for a few more minutes, she gathers what little strength she has to clean up by the sink. She returns to her bed, her head a chaotic mess of invasive thoughts that ring relentlessly in her ears and her whole body shaking. As she sits against the headboard and leans her head back in exhaustion, her hands automatically find her phone on her bedside table.

 

She can feel hot tears forming in her eyes and she focuses on swallowing the sob that she can sense coming up from the back of her throat as her mind recounts the dream she just had – the memories as vivid as the night it happened. The brunette takes a few more moments to slow her breathing even just for a little bit before unlocking her phone, her fingers scrolling through her applications in a practiced motion. Except she bypasses the video that she’s saved to remind her that yes, the light _was_ green on her end. She hadn’t needed that video in a while.

 

Instead, she taps on her saved voicemail messages with a shaky finger. She scrolls down to a particular one and brings it up to her ear to listen as she closes her eyes and immerses herself in the one person that has helped her get through her episodes in the last few weeks, trying to block out everything else around her.

 

“ _Hey, Camz! You probably left your phone in your room again or something, but I'll be over in a few minutes,"_ Lauren’s voice over the receiver is happy and light, slowly but surely pulling Camila out of the deep recesses of her mind. “ _But I’m at the grocery store right now. Do you want me to pick up something for you while I’m here? I know you ran out of whip cream because we used it all when we – you know what? Just call me when you get this, okay?”_ Lauren’s laugh sounds melodious and therapeutic and Camila can physically feel her body feel lighter, the tension in her body flowing out of her as her heart begins to slow down and her muscles unload the invisible weight that’s been settling over her. _“I’d get there sooner but this old lady is hogging the oranges section. Like seriously, Martha. They’re all the same, just pick one,”_ she says in an exasperated tone and the brunette can’t help but smile to herself. _“Okay well, if you get this before I leave, shoot me a text of what you want. See you soon, Camz.”_

Camila brings her phone down and smiles at it sadly. She recently discovered that just hearing Lauren’s voice can do wonders in calming her down and had been taking advantage of it whenever she could, especially now that she can’t exactly call the girl whenever she needs her.

 

She notes the time and sees that it’s almost four-thirty in the morning and decides she might as well get ready and get to work early – she knows she won’t be able to get back to sleep anyway.

 

 

Her recent nightmare is the culmination of a very shitty last two weeks. The lack of sleep, her constant confusion with how she’s supposed to react to Lauren’s efforts, her father being extra difficult and demanding on top of the usual company fires that she constantly has to put out – they’ve all contributed to this.

 

Camila is still fighting the headache that her most recent nightmare has brought as she walks back to her office at the end of the day, most of the office already having gone home, when she runs into Lauren – literally, the only thing keeping her from hitting the ground is familiar strong arms wrapping around her and steadying her back on her feet, Lauren’s perfume and her all-encompassing presence bringing a temporary relief to Camila. The other girl’s presence has always been enough to slow things down in Camila’s fast-paced world and even for a fleeting moment, the brunette relishes in all of Lauren once again.

 

“Camz, you okay?” Lauren asks softly as she reluctantly lets the brunette go. Camila’s body stiffens and she refuses to meet Lauren’s eyes. She can’t handle that kind of intensity right now.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she mutters as she tries to walk past the girl, but of course, Lauren gently grabs her arm to turn her back around. She can feel the irrational irritation building up inside her and she clenches her jaw to keep it at bay. Everything that has gone wrong at this point has depleted her patience to almost nothing.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” And maybe it’s the way that Lauren is treating her. With so much tenderness. Always so gentle and careful and so fucking _soft_ that Camila can hardly breathe. It infuriates her to no end how the raven-haired girl manages to _continue_ to care for her after she’d constantly rejected the girl – everything would be so much easier if Lauren would just give up.

 

“I’m fine.” She says it through clenched teeth, her eyes hard and her tone cold as a last-ditch effort to keep her composure. But Lauren is as stubborn as Camila and the girl persists.

 

“You don’t look-”

 

“Can you fucking leave me alone?!” Camila thinks she can’t be blamed for her outburst. There’s only so much heartache and pain you can let build up in your heart before it all comes bursting out. “I’m fine and even if I weren’t, it’s not your place to take care of me,” she seethes.

 

“I care about you, Camz – I,”

 

"Well, stop," Camila says desperately. "Stop all of it," she gestures wildly with her arm as she forces herself to meet Lauren's eyes. They're focused on her intently, concern washing over her delicate features and Camila has to concentrate on not getting lost in those eyes. "Stop the gifts, the thoughtful notes, stop fucking getting Dinah and Ally involved in this. Just stop all of it. I. don't. want. to. be. with. you." She spits out every word with as much venom as she can muster and holds the girl's gaze even as she can see them dim right before her own eyes.

 

“What do I have to do to convince that I really don’t want you, huh?” she laughs derisively and she can feel the tightness in her chest grow when she sees Lauren look down, tears clouding her usually bright eyes. “You don’t mean anything to me. You were only good for sex,” she makes sure Lauren is looking at her as she continues to crush her heart in her palms. “And now that you won’t put out without your feelings getting in the way, you’re nothing to me.”

 

Lauren looks at her and Camila can feel the last bit of her resolve cracking. She feels herself wither as she stares at her favorite shade of green fill with pain and a kind of hurt she’d never seen on the girl before. The raven-haired girl shakes her head softly and manages to give the brunette a small, sad smile and she can feel her heart constrict in her chest, her breath caught in the back of her throat as the green-eyed girl brings a hand to her own face, delicate fingers wiping the tears on her pale cheeks before she answers.

 

“Okay,” she nods with a crack in her voice. “Noted,” and the way she says it, like she’s finally given up, it crushes the brunette inwardly. “Thanks for making it clear just how insignificant I am to you,” she breathes out shakily before turning and walking away from Camila.

 

The brunette all but runs to her office and once she slams her door closed, collapses against it and slides down to the floor as she lets out the sobs that she'd been fighting the entire time she'd been talking to the older girl. She cries into her arms for several minutes before she dials the only person she knows can bring her some comfort at the moment.

 

“ _Hi, Kaki!_ ” Sofi’s voice is cheery and Camila wishes more than anything that nothing will ever take that happiness from her.

 

“Hey,” she replies, trying to keep her tone steady even as she tries to sniffle subtly.

 

“ _What’s wrong?_ ” the concern in her voice is instant and Camila wonders how she thought she could ever hide her true feelings from Sofia.

 

“I just – I’m,” she manages to get out before letting out another sob.

 

“ _It’s okay, Kaki. It’ll be okay_ ,” the younger girl tries to say soothingly.

 

“I -,” Camila takes a deep breath and tries again. “I hate hurting people, Sof. And that’s all I ever do nowadays,” _and I wonder how long it will take before everyone that’s left in my life gets tired and finally leaves me for good_. She doesn’t voice out the rest of what she’s thinking. It’s a crippling thought that she’s always had, keeping her awake when she manages to fend off the nightmares every once in a while. As scared as she is of letting people in and as much as she pushes them away, she’s even more terrified that she’d actually succeed in making people give up on her.

 

“ _You’re hurting too, Kaki. It’s okay, it will all be okay. I’m here for you always,”_ she can hear the sadness in her younger sister’s voice and it only affirms her fear of constantly hurting the people she cares most about. “ _I’m sorry I can’t be there for you right now.”_

Camila can't help but let out a small laugh at that. "I should be the one apologizing for never being there for you, you know that right? I should be the one comforting you as your big sister, not the other way around."

 

“ _We can take turns,”_ Sofi says wisely and Camila’s heart feels a little bit lighter.

 

 

 

When Camila comes home to a package that looks suspiciously like a framed painting, she opens it with shaky hands as she swallows hard, already having a vague idea of what it is. She rips the wrapping paper and her breath catches in her throat as her eyes rove over the painting.

 

At the street art fair a couple weeks ago, Camila had spotted a painting she had actually wanted out of all the bizarre and exotic pieces of art that surrounded her but an overly-eager and aggressive middle-aged man in an unkempt suit had beat her to it.

 

Lauren had jokingly assured her with promises that she’ll paint one for the brunette if she wants it that badly and she won’t even charge her – well, maybe a kiss or two will do is what she finally decided on with a cheeky smile.

 

The painting shows a bright, full moon shining brilliantly over the dark waters of the ocean, leaving a trail over the surface of the water of sparkling light as it reflects the sky's radiance – the luminous stars adding to the whole magic of the picture in the background of a clear sky, not a single cloud in sight. The detail on the moon is absolutely breathtaking. Her eyes travel over the entire picture and spot a familiar _L.J._ in cursive script at the bottom right corner – the same one she remembers that one fateful night when she first met Lauren and she’d admired a sketch on her mantle.

 

Lauren hadn’t used other colors outside of black, white, and silver, giving the entire painting a mood that is both bright and dark at the same time. It looks exactly like the painting they had seen at the fair and the brunette wonders just how much Lauren actually pays attention to her. The younger brunette had downplayed the significance of the moon when Lauren asked her about it, hinting at how she sought solace and comfort from the moon whenever she felt alone when she was younger, yet somehow, the green-eyed girl had managed to understand just how much the younger girl truly values the moon if the effort and absolute brilliance of the painting is an indication to the brunette.

 

She remembers how the green-eyed girl had told her that she rarely shared her art with anyone. It’s a piece of herself that she’d kept away from the world – she said that sharing her art is like stripping herself bare – opening up the inner workings of her mind to be vulnerable for the world’s judgment.

 

The brunette spots a small passage written in Lauren's neat script on the bottom left corner and her heart jumps up her throat, her eyes blurring with unshed tears:

 

_When the moon in this world fails to shine for you_

_You’ll always have this to turn to_

_Open your hand and take a hold of my heart_

_Have a piece of my unguarded soul_

_Look into my being and pry me apart_

_Keep the pieces that make me whole_

Camila hangs the painting above her bed knowing that she has a piece of Lauren's heart. She wonders if it'll make up for the missing ones in her own chest.

 

 

*****

 

 

The next couple of days after Camila blew up on Lauren feels a lot like somebody was constantly squeezing the brunette’s heart in her chest. She doesn’t know if Lauren and Keana are hanging out more or she just has the misfortune of always being around them whenever they _are_ together. And while Lauren was pretty friendly but not really flirty with the girl before, Camila can’t say if that is still the case at the moment.

 

She’s giving the secretary one of her charming smiles, the kind that easily captivates whoever it’s directed to and she’s flipping her hair in that magnificent i-don’t-do-anything-with-my-hair-but-it-still-looks-phenomenal kind of way and she’s pretty sure she’s witnessing Keana fall in love with the girl right there and then.

 

She scowls at the scene and walks away from it briskly, quietly seething as her knuckles turn white from gripping the folder in her hands so tightly.

 

It’s not like she has the right to really be mad at the girl. In fact, she should be happy that the raven-haired girl seems to not give her a second thought anymore – it’s what she wanted in the first place – for the green-eyed girl to leave her alone.

 

Because the last few weeks haven’t been hell enough, Camila had completely forgotten a company trip that the directors have to attend this coming weekend, and of course, everyone is bringing their secretary with them as they are accustomed to doing so. That means Dinah is bringing Keana.

 

Almost the entirety of Camila’s department is also required to go, considering the trip is a conference that focuses on workshops for company leaders who are centered on expansion – highlighting different strategies to optimize marketing and advertising.

 

So, Lauren is coming as well and Camila wonders if she’ll ever catch a break.

 

 

*****

 

San Francisco is pleasant and much warmer than New York at this time of the year and Camila relishes in the night breeze as she stands in the balcony of her hotel room, tugging her robe a little closer to her chest as she looks out into the bay bridge, low-hanging clouds in the distant sky and a thin layer of fog settling over the top of the Golden Gate.

 

She’s supposed to be getting ready for a small get-together the company is holding at the hotel’s restaurant bar as a way to cap the conference weekend before they all leave for New York, but she can’t help but bask in the peace even for a moment, needing a break from being constantly around Lauren but not getting to do what she wants. She doesn’t know how much longer she can stand watching Lauren direct her smile and attention to someone else before it completely breaks her.

 

When she figures that she’d wasted enough time, she reluctantly gets ready and if she picks her favorite little, black dress and adds a bit more effort in her make-up, she doesn’t give it much thought.

 

It only takes about thirty minutes before Camila is just about done with the night. She’d broken off from the group not long after she had barely made conversation with anyone. Dinah and Ally are busy with some other people, because unlike her, they have friends outside of their little group apparently, so she finds herself just people-watching by the bar while everyone else mingles. And by people-watching, she means, watching Lauren throw her head back as she laughs at something Keana says.

 

The company has kind of taken over the entire place, she can see her employees everywhere she looks, walking and talking around the restaurant bar, some sat at the dining tables and just being relaxed and enjoying the paid-for food and drinks to their hearts’ content while Camila sulks on her own.

 

She’s on her third margarita when the bartender sidles up across from her. “You know, I’m sure if you talk to her, she’d be pretty receptive to it.”

 

She turns to her side and is confused when she sees the bartender raising a well-sculpted eyebrow at her. The man is wearing a tight black button-up shirt that shows off his nice built, broad shoulders and all. She’s pretty sure she can count all twelve of his abs through his shirt. His hair is styled back nicely and he’s sporting a well-groomed thin beard that surrounds an amiable smile.

 

“Uh – I don’t –um,” the alcohol is making Camila’s mind a little fuzzy and she’s having a hard time deciphering what the bartender is trying to tell her.

 

“Dark-haired girl with the nice, red lips over there?” the bartender points to the woman Camila has been shamelessly staring at all night. “Why don’t you go up to her? You got your own thing going, girl. I say you have a chance,” the brunette is slightly taken aback by his blinding smile and she frowns when she realizes he’s talking about Lauren.

 

“Yeah,” she scoffs to herself. “That’s not happening.”

 

There’s a flash of something in the bartender’s bright eyes before he snaps his fingers in recognition. “Oooh. Oooh. Are you guys like exes or something?”

 

“Something like that,” the brunette responds sadly.

 

“Hm,” the bartender hums in sympathy. “I know how that is, sorry, girl.”

 

“Yeah, pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me.”

 

“Uh,” the bartender says skeptically that makes the brunette turn to him with furrowed brows. “Just because you don’t see her looking at you, doesn’t mean she isn’t,” he says with a wink.

 

Camila turns back to the girl that’s plagued her thoughts and just barely catches her turn her head from the brunette’s direction back to her table.

 

The rest of the night becomes a huge blur for Camila. She doesn’t know how long she’s been at the bar as she rubs her temples in an attempt to clear her vision when she sees the bartender give her a small smile and a wink as he walks away from her.

 

She finds out why when she feels a warm hand settle on the small of her back, a familiar perfume washing over her as she turns to see bright green eyes watching her face her worriedly.

 

“Heeey,” she slurs at the girl with a lazy smile. She brings a finger to bop the girl’s nose but her coordination is barely even there when she’s sober, much less when she’s completely hammered, so she ends up poking Lauren just below her eyes. “Oops,” she giggles.

 

“Hey,” Lauren says softly as she rubs the girl’s back comfortingly. “Why don’t I help you up to your room?”

 

Camila is about to respond with the sexual joke on the tip of her tongue when she remembers about Keana _._ “Why?” She frowns up at the girl, who’s now helping her out of her seat and steadying her on her feet. “Don’t you have _Keana_ to attend to?” she asks, the name leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

 

Lauren only gives her an amused smile as she wraps an arm around the girl’s waist, urging her to walk. “Come on, Camz,” she says gently and her voice is soothing and nice and Camila has missed it so much, her body responds to it without her consent.

 

“M’kay,” she mumbles. She’s half leaning on Lauren and her face is buried in the girl’s neck as the older girl tries to maneuver them through the bar and out onto the lobby. “You smell so good,” she mumbles.

 

Lauren laughs lightly, Camila feeling the vibrations of her throat when the girl responds. "You smell like you drank the entire bar."

 

“You’re an ass.”

 

“Mhm, you like me though,” Lauren says offhandedly and the brunette blames the alcohol when she doesn’t deny it.

 

After struggling to essentially drag Camila up to her door and spending another ten minutes trying to get the brunette to remember where she placed her key, Lauren finally has Camila settled on the girl’s bed.

 

The raven-haired girl sits at the edge of the bed as she turns the girl on her side, making sure she won’t choke if she has to vomit.

 

Her green eyes rake over the girl’s features as the brunette sleepily blinks her eyes, her face looking peaceful and more relaxed than what she’d seen in the past two weeks.

 

“Dinah is gonna come over in a few minutes to stay with you, okay? You know, to make sure you don’t die in your sleep,” she says fondly as she reaches a hand to gently bring a few strands of hair behind the girl’s ear. She can’t help it when she uses her fingers to delicately run over the brunette’s eyebrows and forehead, smoothing them out when the girl frowns at her words. It’s almost second nature to her.

 

“Why are you still here?” the brunette asks in wonder. There isn’t a single hint of malice in her tone. Just pure curiosity. “After everything I said to you, why are you still here?” she asks the girl again, her brown eyes possessing a sense of clarity that shouldn’t be so powerful for somebody who’s supposed to be drunk.

 

Lauren gives her a smile, shy and reserved, before she swallows and answers. “Because I’m me. And I’m stubborn,” she says softly, making sure to hold Camila’s gaze.

 

“So you still care about me?” the brunette asks disbelievingly. This girl is unreal, she thinks to herself.

 

“Very much so,” Lauren nods, her eyes soft and her touch gentle as she picks up the girl’s hand in between them, playing with her fingers absentmindedly.

 

Camila laughs lightly and shakes her head, instantly regretting it when she becomes even dizzier. “Why am I pushing you away again?” she asks herself more than the girl in front of her.

 

The dark-haired girl gives her another smile, but this one is not quite what she’s used to getting from the green-eyed girl. It’s hesitant and sad and Camila can see the suppressed pain behind it. Her green eyes fill with unshed tears when she meets brown ones and even in Camila’s drunken state, she can feel how the sight tugs at her heart painfully. “Because you’re you,” she says with a small laugh. “And you’re stubborn.”

 

Camila can’t help but laugh with her. Laugh at the incredulity of it all. How Lauren is still so willing to hand out her heart despite the many times the brunette has crushed it in front of her. “Hm,” she hums out in response. “Sounds like we make a good match,” she gives the girl a wide smile, goofy and carefree. Lauren seems to always have that effect on her.

 

“Sounds like you’re right.”

 

The flash of clarity is back in her brown eyes – the one that doesn’t quite match her inebriated state – when she meets the girl’s gaze once again. “You’re too good for me, Laur,” she whispers it, afraid of the heavy truth behind her words.

 

Lauren leans forward and gives the brunette a lingering kiss on her forehead and Camila feels the girl sigh against her skin before standing up. It feels like everything slots back into place with that one touch, her heart fills with the kind of hope that’s dangerous – the one that convinces Camila little by little that maybe she shouldn’t be fighting this hard. “You’re wrong, baby,” the older girl says as she fixes the sheets around Camila one last time. “You’ll see that it’s me and you eventually. Sleep tight,” she gives the girl a final smile before leaving her room.

 

Camila closes her eyes and relishes in the small moments where she gets to pretend that everything isn’t so fucked up with Lauren.

 

She vaguely registers Dinah entering her room and washing up before joining her on the other side of the bed a few minutes later, mumbling something about _Lauser being too good to Camila and if she doesn’t marry the girl, Dinah will._

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n:
> 
> yay for not taking a month to update.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, I’d love to hear what you guys think of this chapter. What do you guys think of the pacing? The characters? Etc.
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to vote/comment/give feedback if you feel like it!
> 
> wattpad: jaureguicabello5eva
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox


	7. Part Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hope this is worth the wait, yikes

\----- 

 

Lauren walks through the large metal gate, the intricate patterns on its bars still noticeable through its weathered appearance, and as she enters the enclosed yard, she notices how the sky has gone darker since she left the house, heavy-looking clouds rolling above her in droves, casting quite the ominous atmosphere.

 

She grips the closed umbrella in her hand and continues to walk through the grass, her boots leaving mild imprints on the slightly-damp soil as she takes in her surroundings, basking in the serenity of it all despite the foreboding air about her. She stops in front of a slab of granite on the ground and smiles to herself as she bends down to lay out the small blanket she brought on the ground and moves to sit on it while setting her things down.

 

Once she’s settled, she leans forward and sets down the bouquet of flowers she brought on one side of the granite while carefully brushing away pieces of dried leaves off the surface of the headstone.

 

“Hola, abuela,” she says quietly while looking at the headstone with soft eyes, her voice carrying a tone of happiness laced with the kind of sadness and longing that doesn’t ever really go away when losing a loved one. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit as much lately. You know how it is with mama and things,” she continues with a shrug. This is something Lauren has learned to be comfortable with in the last few months that she’d been quietly grieving the loss of her grandmother. She’s learned to “talk” to her and let out her feelings just as she’d always done when the older woman was still alive. She found that it was easier to cope with the loss and it was a bit cathartic for her as well.

 

Her abuela had been critically ill for the longest time and when she found out that Lauren has landed a promising job in New York, where her daughter could also get the best treatment, she’d been the one to insist that Lauren and Clara move there immediately, urging them to go even though she herself needed someone to take care of her.

 

Lauren and Clara naturally refused to go without her and they all soon found themselves moving to New York together. It wasn’t long, however, before Lauren’s abuela succumbed to her own illness and they soon buried her, not bothering with flying back to Miami, considering they didn’t really have family there. It’s always just been the three of them for as long as Lauren can remember. Whenever her mother would work late hours and bounce around in the three jobs she always seemed to have, Lauren’s grandmother was the one to take care of her and she’s learned so many valuable life lessons from the older woman.

 

She taught Lauren much about life and love and tolerance and most of all, she was the one to teach Lauren the importance of self-love. When the green-eyed girl struggled about her sexuality and what was expected of her – who she was supposed to love, how she was supposed to act – the older woman had been the one to talk to her to make her realize none of her fears about how people would react really matter if, at the end of the day, all she'd done is love and be herself.

 

As long as she wasn’t hurting other people, she’d learned that the best way to live life is to be true to yourself above all else and she learned along the years that everything else follows after that. She’d become more confident of herself and has been more willing to take risks, to jump and fall and fail and most of all, to get back up. She’d drawn so much strength from her grandmother and her mother – the two most important women in her life – and it’s tearing her apart from the inside at the thought of losing them both forever.

 

She’s holding on as tight as she can to her last bit of hope, praying to whatever god is above, but she feels her hold loosening despite her efforts, and she doesn’t know how long it’ll last. She feels like she’s being pulled from so many directions and she wishes more than anything to have something stronger to hold onto.

 

“I miss you, ‘buela,” she says with a crack in her voice, her green eyes clouding with tears even as she tries to reel her tears in. “Mama’s not doing much better. I wish you were here. You’d know what to do,” she continues with a tremble in her voice as she brings a hand to wipe away a tear that has fallen down her cheek. Still, she smiles through the pain that’s coursing through her and takes a deep breath to calm herself. “But I’m trying. And I’m gonna try for as long as I can because that’s all I can do, right?”

 

Lauren delves into a few more stories, talking to the headstone as if her abuela is there herself and after doing so for a while, she feels as if a load has been taken off of her chest. She feels lighter and more content and like she can take the world again. She smiles at how the older woman can still be her source of strength even when she’s not physically present.

The green-eyed girl candidly talks about everything and anything: her new life in New York, her job that she absolutely loves, friends – old and new – that make settling in a new city all the more bearable, and as she tends to always do no matter the situation, she talks about Camila, the girl that’s turning her world upside down, but whom she can’t seem to let go.

 

There’s a slightly rueful smile on her face when she gets on the topic of the girl – it’s small and barely there, but there’s still a noticeable sadness that coats the curve of her lips when the brunette’s name falls from her lips.

 

“You know, I met this girl, ‘buela,” she sighs out. “I’m pretty sure she’s my soulmate. She just doesn’t know it yet, you know?” she laughs to herself before turning more serious. “I mean, I don’t know what it is about her.” The dark-haired girl takes a deep breath before watching the headstone in front of her with a pensive look upon her features. “I think – I think she has this idea that she doesn’t deserve anything, doesn’t deserve happiness. There’s this profound sadness in her eyes and I just –” Lauren scrunches her face as she looks for the right words, as if just by the mere thought of picturing Camila sad is tugging at her heart. “And I just wish I could do something about it. Like, make her realize she _does_ deserve to be happy. That whatever it is she’s going through, people around her are willing to be there. There’s Dinah and Ally and Sofi – and there’s me.”

 

She brings a hand to run through her hair out of habit as she continues to “talk” to her abuela. “I can tell there’s something there – like she feels something for me too, but she’s fighting it for some reason. But, you know, even if she ends up not returning my feelings,” Lauren swallows hard while forcing a small smile. “I want her to know more than anything that it’s okay to be happy. That if I were to leave any lasting impression on her – I want it to be that. For her to realize that she’s doing the world a favor when she smiles, you know?” Lauren can’t help but smile at her own cheesiness.

 

She stays for a few more minutes, just basking in the peaceful surroundings, not really minding the impending rain. It’s not long, however, when she sees a cab pull up on the other side of the gate and a familiar brunette comes out of it.

 

Camila is bundled in a black pea coat and a matching scarf, but Lauren can recognize that frame from anywhere. She watches the girl walk a few yards from her and stop at what looks like twin tombstones, setting down a couple of bouquets of flowers by the headstones’ sides. Lauren furrows her brows in contemplation as she thinks about who Camila might be visiting. As far as she knows, both of the brunette’s parents, as well as both sets of grandparents are all still very much alive. She’s encountered them in a couple of conferences and has seen firsthand how much pressure everyone in the brunette’s family seems to place on the girl.

 

 

 

\-----

 

 

 

Camila sets the flowers down by the matching headstones and wipes a lone tear that slides down her cheek as she reads the names written in curved script on the granite: _Robert McKinley_ and _Leah McKinley_. She takes a shaky breath as she tries to pay her respects to the McKinley’s, using whatever strength she has to keep her emotions in check, to prevent the memories from overwhelming her. She figures it’s a way for her to lessen the guilt that buries itself deep in her chest, that maybe in this small (insignificant) way, she can pretend like she’s doing something right for once.

 

She loses the battle to stay composed, of course. Because she’s never known how to do this without breaking down. She can’t read the names on the headstones and not think about the lives that had been affected – the sheer loss that she gets to relive in her dreams almost every night, and it’s not long before there’s a cascade of tears of flowing down her cheeks. But she’s expected it and she’s learned that the best way to deal with it all is to just _be._ To let the tears flow and allow the emotions to course through her – to let the pain be felt.

 

The brunette vaguely registers the thunderclap above her and it's only seconds later that she feels torrential rain pour down on her, the relentless water immediately matting her hair against her face even as the cold assault against her skin barely pierces through her numbed senses.

 

She looks up when she feels the downpour come to an abrupt halt around her and is met with familiar green eyes looking at her with that ever-present worry in them as she watches the dark-haired girl hold an umbrella above both their heads.

 

A small smile forms on the curve of her lips and there’s slight amusement in her eyes when she talks to the girl. She can’t help it, not really. The older girl has always found a way to easily get through her defense, to pull a smile out of her even during her darkest times. “Are you stalking me now?” There’s a teasing lilt in her tone, as if she feels compelled to ease the concern in the eyes she’s learned to draw comfort from. She feels an inexplicable urge to soothe the girl – to let her know (despite the utter lie in the words itself) that she’s okay. Maybe there’s truth in it after all, because when the brunette is around the older girl, she feels the most at peace she’s ever been.

 

Lauren jumps in the banter without missing a beat, always giving the push and pull Camila needs. “You’d like that, won’t you?” The older girl’s eyes roam Camila’s features before she lets out her next words and they fall from her lips with just the slightest bit of hesitation. “Let me take you home.”

 

Camila shakes her head before the girl even finishes, her heart hammering in her chest in protest. "No, I can-"

 

“I saw you come out of a cab. Come on,” the older girl urges as she switches the umbrella to her other hand, her body instinctively drawing close to Camila’s as to keep them both out of the rain. “I promise I won’t bite,” and when the brunette raises an amused brow, the green-eyed girl takes the bait. “Unless you want me to, of course,” she finishes with a wink.

 

Camila is ready for a reply when they’re interrupted by Lauren’s phone ringing. Lauren pulls her phone out of her pocket and scrunches her eyebrows at the caller ID, immediately picking up. “Hello?” There’s unmistakable worry in her tone and Camila instinctively pays attention. Lauren’s face blanches, the color leaving her cheeks while her mouth stays slightly parted in shock as she stammers through her next words, her breathing becoming erratic. “I’ll – I’ll be there soon.”

 

She hurriedly pockets her phone and startles when Camila gently lays a hand on her arm, her eyes questioning. “Is everything okay?”

 

The dark-haired girl shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears when she answers. “I – I have to go. Um –” she looks around as if lost while the hand that’s holding the umbrella shakes in the slightest. “Let me call you a cab. I’m sorry-”

 

“Hey,” Camila’s voice is steady and it grounds her, even if temporarily, pulling her attention back towards the brunette. “It’s okay. Where do you have to be?” Her tone is gentle and it coaxes the needed information from the dark-haired girl.

 

“I have to go to the – I have to go to the hospital.” The sight of Lauren panicked and trembling is jarring – it feels like a kick to the brunette’s chest. Lauren has always been a source of peace for Camila, always a picture of silent strength, and to see her like _this_ , the brunette feels as if the world has tilted off its axis somehow.

 

“Hey, let me take you there,” the younger girl says gently, trying to be strong for the both of them. “You can’t drive in this state.”

 

“No – no it’s fine I’m-”

 

“Lauren. Give me your keys.”

 

 

 

Camila knows it’s a bad idea the moment she gets behind the steering wheel. She hasn’t driven in months – not since the accident. She can hardly sit in the front passenger seat without her heart rate going through the roof. Right now, however? The effects are instantaneous. She can feel her heart thundering in her chest violently. Relentlessly. Her pulse is loud in her ears and she can feel the air in her lungs come out in short, quick breaths.

 

But she looks to her right and sees that Lauren is still in a daze. Whatever she’s feeling right now, she can tell Lauren is much more out of it. The girl looks like she can barely register her surroundings as she sits almost motionlessly, eyes unblinking and face emotionless.

 

She looks at the girl beside her and knows she has to do this. This is the girl that has helped her in so many ways, has so easily offered her time and support whenever Camila needed it. This girl has been there for her – has helped Camila with her demons without even knowing it, despite the brunette doing everything to push the older girl away.

 

So she grips the steering wheel tightly and focuses her attention on the road, cautiously setting the gear in drive and maneuvering through the traffic even if all she can seem to register is how loud her heart is beating in her chest. She stays focused and powers through, doing every trick she knows to keep her mind clear of the memories, to prevent herself from conjuring up images from the accident. She evens out her breathing as much as she can and ignores the way her knuckles turn white from holding onto the wheel too hard.

 

They make it to the hospital without incident and it doesn't take much convincing on her part to tell Lauren to go ahead while she looks for parking when she drops the girl at the front.

 

Camila stays in the car for a few more moments after she finally finds parking and leans her forehead against the steering wheel, willing herself to calm down as she closes her eyes tightly to keep the tears in. She abruptly opens the car door and walks as far as she can before hurling the remnants of her last meal, her body, wound-up and pulled taut from the stress of driving finally releasing the tension as she bends forward and continues to dry-heave. She feels drained and like she’d just ran the marathon of her life while carrying the world above her shoulders but she straightens up and composes herself after taking a few deeps breaths. She cleans up for a bit in the bathroom before finding Lauren in the waiting area.

 

The girl is sitting motionlessly and her usually bright eyes are dull as she stares into nothing. The brunette notes the red around her eyes, indicating that she’d been crying and Camila doesn’t hesitate to walk over and sit next to the girl, ignoring how the whole thing looks so painfully familiar as she gently takes the girl’s hand in hers and intersperses their fingers while setting both of their hands on her lap. The dark-haired girl seems to snap out of her trance and looks at Camila with green eyes clouded with tears and the brunette is sure she can feel the crack in her chest at the sight.

 

She’s never seen the girl look so defeated – so _broken._ The girl she’d always sought strength from. The girl she’d relentlessly tried to knock down and hurt and absolutely destroy is here looking at her like she’s given up. As if wherever she had drawn that strength from, that constant happiness, the persistence that the green-eyed girl so easily carries around has gone away and it tears at Camila and in that moment, she wishes that she’d never met Lauren.

 

She wishes she’d never been given the chance to hurt the girl because now, as the brunette watches her crumble before her own eyes, Camila can see that she hardly knows the girl. She knows nothing of the other girl’s life. Not really anyway. Nothing about the dark-haired girl’s own demons, the kind of weight that she carries on _her_ own shoulders. She’d taken the girl for granted and used her own pain as an excuse to hurt others – too focused on her own heartbreak to even notice that behind Lauren’s bright smiles and the shine in her eyes, she’d been harboring her own pain.

 

Camila can’t help the tears in her own eyes as she pulls Lauren closer, tucking her tear-stained face in the crook of her own neck and wrapping her arms around the girl as if to protect her from all the pain. She lets the girl cry into her skin, her tears hot and insistent against her neck as the older girl lets out painful sobs and Camila tries not to break under the weight of it all.

 

Being back in the waiting room, surrounded by death and suffering and people baring the helplessness they feel on their faces – holding onto Lauren as she breaks down, it’s all coming at her at a staggering force.  The brunette tries to be strong for the both of them.

 

She learns that they’re in the hospital for Lauren’s mom. She knew the older woman was sick. She’d gleaned that much from the time she’s spent with the green-eyed girl but she’d never known the extent of it. The older woman has been getting aggressive treatment for her late-stage cancer and as a side effect, her immune system has drastically weakened, causing her to be vulnerable to infections such as the one she developed in her gastrointestinal tract.

 

The doctors had initially treated it with antibiotics, but perforation and bleeding within her intestinal tract had led to a need for surgery and they had rushed her to an O.R. when they called Lauren.

 

The next few hours are grueling and Camila feels like she’s back in time. Waiting in anticipation with her heart in her throat, only for it to be ripped out with inevitable bad news, she doesn’t know how she keeps it together, but she manages to stay by Lauren for as long as the girl needs her, never letting the other girl’s hand go.

 

She thinks that it’s what the both of them need right now. For something – for _someone_ – to hold onto. To physically tether them to the present instead of being complete prisoners of their minds -  of their fears. The brunette had briefly separated herself from Lauren’s hold when she took a cab home to change and to bring Lauren some new clothes as well, seeing as the other girl had no intention of going home until she could see her mother, which was not going to be until the next day, when she’d be allowed visitors in her private room again.

 

They spend the night in the waiting room, getting a couple hours of sleep every now and then, but otherwise too wound-up to really get any rest. Lauren doesn’t wait for a second once the doctors tell her she can see her mom as she dashes to the older woman’s room, hand still tightly clasped around Camila’s as if it’s the only thing that’s keeping her together.

 

When they reach the room, Lauren all but rushes to her mother’s side, sitting on the edge of her bed as she tries to give the older woman a hug without disrupting the wires and tubes connected to her frail body. Camila stays back and watches as Lauren smiles through her tears, her delicate fingers running carefully down her mother’s face when she fixes the scarf around her head.

 

“You scared me there for a bit, Ma,” the dark-haired girl croaks out, her voice still trembling with the sob she’s trying hard to suppress. She’s supposed to be strong for the both of them. It’s supposed to be her turn. Her mother has been nothing but strong and fearless and absolutely immovable during the most trying of times when she raised Lauren practically on her own and the green-eyed girl promised to herself that she would be the same now that her mom needs her more than ever.

 

The surgery had gone as well as it could have and she’s stable for now. Lauren watches as a small smile forms on the older woman’s lips, the time-worn lines on her face bending delicately as her cheeks rise in the slightest to show her amusement. There’s still that ever-present glimmer in her eyes, as if she isn’t looking at death in the eye himself – she’s still the strongest woman Lauren has ever known. “Can’t get rid of me that easily, mija,” the older woman says, her voice is strained, but the life is still there and the dark-haired girl hangs onto that hope. Because as long as her mom is fighting, she will be too.

 

They talk for a few more moments, the older woman assuring her daughter that she’s well on her way to recovery and she feels as strong as ever (Lauren figures it’s a lie they both desperately need at the moment so she lets it slide), before the older woman’s eyes slowly flit to the back of the room, where the brunette is still standing, unsure of whether she should give the women some space. She feels as if she’s intruding on a moment.

 

“Who’s your friend?” the older woman asks and even in this state, the dark-haired girl can detect the mirth behind her words, the subtle suggestiveness as she gives the younger girl a warm smile. Lauren is just glad her mother hasn’t lost a single bit of her teasing personality.

 

Lauren looks at her mom as if to warn her before getting up and walking to Camila with a small smile as she gently urges the girl to come closer with a warm hand on her lower back.

 

“Ma, this is my friend, Camila,” Lauren introduces the two and the older woman’s smile widens as the girl gives her a smile in return. “Camila, my mom.”

 

“Oh, you’re so pretty, mija,” Clara coos at the girl and the brunette’s cheeks warm at the compliment, giving the older girl beside her a shy smile.

 

"Thanks, Ms. Jauregui-"

 

“Oh please. Clara will do just fine.”

 

“Thank you, Clara. It’s nice to meet you. Now I know where Lauren gets her charm from.” Now it’s Lauren’s turn to blush and it only worsens when the brunette looks her way and sends her a subtle wink.

 

They stay with Clara and talk for almost the entire day, spending time together as if they’d all known each other for years. Camila seamlessly fits in the banter of the two and she can’t help the warmth that spreads in her chest as she watches the light filter back in her favorite green eyes. The Lauren she’s known in the past few months slowly coming back in small pieces the longer she spends time with her mother and the brunette knows things are okay again.

 

The brunette can’t help but feel light as she watches Lauren smile again and just like that, it feels like the world is back on its axis.

 

 

 

When Camila goes outside of the room to take a call, Clara takes the chance alone with her daughter to ask the question they both know are coming.

 

“So,” the older woman starts. There’s a soft smile on her lips and her eyes sparkle with a familiar glint of mischief. “What’s the real deal? Tell me about her.”

 

Lauren thinks about diverting for a second. Seriously considers deflecting and acting as if she doesn’t know who her mother is talking about. But she figures giving her mother whatever she wants is the least she can do right now, and it’s not as if she minds talking about the girl that’s plagued her mind anyway.

 

“Well,” Lauren says with a gentle smile. There’s a glimmer in her green eyes that always seem to be present when she’s talking about the brunette – as if the mere mention of her name is enough to draw a smile from her. “She’s smart and kind and ambitious and _feisty_ ,” she emphasizes the last one but there’s nothing but utter admiration in her tone. “She has the biggest heart I know,” Lauren looks up and sees expectant eyes trained on her. “Well – second only to yours of course,” the dark-haired girl amends with a wink, drawing a light laugh from her mom.

 

 

Camila is about to round the corner from the small hallway that leads into the main part of Clara’s room when she hears the two women laughing and she can’t explain it, but she feels compelled to not interrupt whatever moment they’re sharing. She’s about to turn back when she hears Clara’s next words.

 

“She sounds like a keeper.” Camila can’t help it when she leans in a little and stands by the corner so she can peek into the room, giving her a view of Lauren’s side profile but nothing else.

 

She sees the girl’s smile falter, morphing into one that’s laced with a tinge of sadness as the brightness in her eyes dims in the slightest.

 

“What’s wrong?” the girl’s mother asks instinctively, noting the change in Lauren’s demeanor.

 

The dark-haired girl softly shakes her head and powers through a pained smile as she tries to steady her tone. "Nothing. She just –" she takes a breath before meeting her mother's eyes. The older woman has always had an uncanny ability to disarm all her defenses. Something about the way she looks at Lauren with nothing but understanding that makes the girl want to open up instead of hiding and burying her emotions. "She doesn't feel the same. At least that's what she tells me," she shrugs.

 

Camila feels a twinge of hurt in her chest, like her heart is protesting Lauren’s declaration as she continues to listen. She knows that this is the part where she should probably turn and go. Nothing good can come out of hearing Lauren talk about how Camila’s done nothing but break her heart. But she figures she’s always enjoyed a little bit of pain so she stays.

 

“Oh honey, come here,” Clara says as she reaches out a hand that Lauren doesn’t hesitate to take in her own, her mother’s touch instantly comforting her. “Maybe for now,” her mother says lightly. “No one can resist that charm,” the woman smiles at the green-eyed girl and Lauren can’t help but shake her head in fondness.

 

“I’m serious, Ma,” she says with a small chuckle of her own.

 

“I’m serious too,” her mother says, her tone turning solemn. “I want you to be happy when I go.”

 

“Mom, please,” Lauren says as she furrows her brows in frustration and fights the crack in her voice.

 

“She can make you happy is all I’m saying. Maybe you don’t see it, or _she_ doesn’t see it, but that girl looks at you something different, mija,” Clara says sincerely. When Lauren stays quiet, the older woman tugs at her hand and the girl looks up with tears in her eyes.

 

“I hate it when you talk as if you don’t have – like there’s no time-” she’s trying (and failing) to keep it together, but so much has happened in the last day that it’s all catching up to her.

 

“I know, mija. I know. But listen,” the older woman says as she waits for Lauren to meet her eyes once more. “Promise me you’ll try to find happiness for yourself when I’m gone.”

“Mom-”

“Lauren, please.” The look in her mother’s eyes is pleading and she feels torn between wanting to yell at her and tell her that she won’t be gone. Not anytime soon. Because they’re still fighting, right? They’ll make it through this. They’ve always done so in the past. As long as they have each other, they’ll make it past this. They have to.

But she also knows that time is not on their side. That they're doing what they can on their end, but ultimately, nothing really is up to them. So she nods reluctantly because even if she hates it, she can't find it in herself to deny her mom anything. Not at this point in their lives anyway.

Clara smiles at the strength her daughter is showing. She can feel at ease that she’d raised such a strong-headed and kind-hearted woman and she knows Lauren will be fine when her time comes. “Whether it’s Camila or someone else,” the older woman says with a smirk. “I want you to try to find happiness. How about that lawyer friend of yours?” she asks teasingly to which Lauren laughs out loud.

“Oh my god, Ma! Normani does not swing that way!”

Camila furrows her brows at that. _Lawyer friend? Normani?_ She feels the familiar surge of jealousy course through her at the thought of someone else with Lauren and she figures it’s time to make her presence known. She makes sure to make her steps loud enough to let the women know that someone is turning the corner and musters up a smile as she approaches the duo once more.

It’s Lauren’s turn to leave the room when she goes out to get them some food and Camila soon finds herself alone with Clara. She’d been nervous at first, not knowing what to do to fill the time, but the older woman had immediately eased her nerves, making her feel as if they’d known each other for years.

The conversation is easy and light, Clara making subtle jokes about her and Lauren and for the first time in a while, it doesn’t make Camila want to run the other way. It’s in the way she talks to Camila, with an ever-present undertone of care and gentleness that she figures must come naturally with motherhood. Perhaps the brunette appreciates it more so because she hadn’t had that kind of attention from a mother figure in a while.

She tries not to think too much about how easy everything that has to do with Lauren is.

 

 

When Lauren walks back in a few minutes later, she sees her two favorite women laughing about something and she can’t help the subtle glow of warmth in her heart, light embers flickering lightly within her as she watches the women interact, soft smiles and twinkling eyes as they throw their heads back in laughter.

She walks in with a smile of her own and raises her eyebrow when the women share a look before looking back at the dark-haired girl with knowing smiles.

“Something I’m missing here?” the green-eyed girl asks as she sets the food down on the table, which the brunette immediately starts taking out and distributing amongst the three of them.

“Nothing,” her mother replies with a smirk. “You know, just talking about you.”

“All good things I hope.”

“Of course,” her mother winks and when the green-eyed girl sends Camila a questioning look, the girl just shrugs and she thinks it might be best to leave it alone.

They continue to talk and share stories over the early dinner that Lauren bought and even with everything weighing on all of them, it feels like at least for the time being, everything is alright. They’re laughing, trading jokes, sharing soft gazes and gentle smiles, and right here, in the company of people that touch their hearts one way or another, they feel a sense of peace that they haven’t had in a while.

It's not long before Lauren and Camila have to bid goodbye, and the dark-haired girl is only slightly surprised when Camila leans in to hug Clara after she's said her own goodbye. She watches her mother whisper something in the brunette's ear while she holds the girl close and Camila pulls back in the slightest to nod at the older woman, who responds with a wink before they part with wide smiles. The dark-haired girl furrows her brows at the interaction but doesn't ask anything about it otherwise.

They’re walking down the hospital hallway when Camila notices that Lauren starts fidgeting with her fingers, intermittently running a hand through her hair as she bites down on her bottom lip, making Camila stop walking altogether and eye Lauren curiously.

“Okay, what’s up?”

The raven-haired girl doesn’t realize the girl has stopped walking until she hears her voice and she has to turn back around to look at the other girl who’s looking at her with an expectant gaze.

“Um, nothing?”

“Lauren.”

“I mean, I just didn’t want to – I don’t want to um-”

“Laur,” the brunette says in a softer tone, her eyes showing her concern. “Just tell me.”

"Well, I know I have to get you home and you've already spent so much time on me and I  don't– but we're here already and when I visit my mom I usually, I –"

“Laur, baby,” the brunette says without thinking about it as she reaches out a hand to gently grab Lauren’s to stop it from gesticulating wildly in the air. They seem to process the term of endearment at the same time, their faces showing their surprise while the brunette scrambles to cover her slip-up. “I mean – uh,” the green-eyed girl just squeezes her hand and sends her a small smile, instantly calming her nerves. “Just tell me, please.”

“When I visit my mom, I usually stop by the play center at the pediatric oncology unit on the ninth floor,” the girl shrugs as she proceeds to play with the brunette’s fingers. She misses the way Camila’s eyes fill with adoration, her features softening at the ever-present reminder that this is the Lauren she’s come to know. She might not know her demons or her past – what scares her, what makes her fall apart – but she knows that regardless of it all, the Lauren she knows is unyieldingly kind and compassionate, always wearing her heart on her sleeve as if she hadn’t been burned enough.

 

When the younger girl snaps back into the conversation, she barely registers that Lauren has asked her a question. “…so if you don’t have to be home right away, I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?” the girl asks as she wrings her hands together in front of her while biting her lip nervously.

 

Camila’s heart warms at the sight, wondering how the dark-haired girl never fails to turn her world upside, against everything she’s worked to protect – Lauren is relentless in trying to get to her heart.

 

“Yeah, of course,” she responds softly and the smile that the girl sends her, wide and relieved, makes Camila think that she probably doesn’t stand a chance. She can try to push the girl all she wants, hurt her in the most painful ways – the green-eyed girl will still find a way to push back.

 

 

The play center is spacious and consists of a variety of different activities and instruments and toys. Lauren had explained to her on the way to the center that they hold a sort of informal play therapy for the young cancer patients, having learned from multiple studies that play therapy can help in preserving the mental health and coping of children dealing with their condition while helping them improve and develop important social skills as well as work on their personal interests, which can vary from art to music to reading.

 

The brunette learns that Lauren has thrown herself into the movement – the fight – against cancer ever since learning about her mother’s condition. She’d participated and helped organize countless charities and has worked closely with hospitals such as this to help with many of their oncology-related programs, including the improvement of the play center.

 

Camila looks around as they enter the place and is met with numerous children, some dressed in normal, everyday clothes, while others opt for the hospital gown. There are also several professionals working with the children, some clad in scrubs, while others are in more business-type suits. The children show varying levels of activity, some are too weak to get involved in the more strenuous activities, opting for a book instead, while others prefer to merely talk with friends they’ve made during their long-term stay at the hospital. The brunette notes that despite the variety she sees amongst the children, something they all seem to have in common is a sense of contentment.

 

And it's not even in a way that is naïve or unaware. Camila can tell that the kids, as young as they may seem, have a sense of understanding of their situation. It's not that they're living in blissful ignorance, it seems more like they know what is happening and are actively choosing to fight. It gives Camila a strange sense of hope for them. And for herself. For people who are going through different, yet very similar problems. It reminds her that everyone is living their own demons, fighting their own battles.

 

They’ve only barely entered the center when a young girl comes rushing at them, immediately jumping into Lauren’s arms.

 

“Lolo!” the girl looks to be about four or five years old. She’s wearing an oversized shirt that says, _My Fight Against the Big C,_ over black leggings. Her head is shaved, which only serves to highlight her striking blue eyes and high cheekbones, currently bunched up as she smiles widely at the girl beside Camila, the gap in her front teeth out and proud.

 

The brunette can’t help but smile herself as she watches the child wrap her small arms around the dark-haired girl’s neck, the older girl easily supporting the child against her hip, sporting her own toothy grin. “Hey, Gary,” the green-eyed girl greets the kid, causing her to giggle and eliciting a raised eyebrow on Camila’s part.

 

The small girl directs her gaze to the brunette and she turns shy at the sight of Camila watching her with a fond smile, opting to curl more into Lauren’s frame as she peers up at the other girl with timid eyes, a small smile adorning her lips.

 

“Oh, don’t be shy now, Gary,” the green-eyed girl teases the kid while lightly poking the little girl’s side, eliciting a joyful shriek from her. “This is my-” she turns to Camila and they lock eyes for a second, the silence lingering for a bit before Lauren clears her throat and continues. “This is my friend, Camila.”

 

The brunette feels her heart jump at the girl's hesitation. She wonders if the girl's words left a bitter taste in the dark-haired girl's mouth in the same way that it sounded grating in her own ears. She knows she has no right to feel the way that she does. She's the one that has relentlessly pushed the girl away after all. She swallows the lump in her throat and focuses her attention on the small child in Lauren's arms instead. "Hey there. Gary, right?"

 

The child perks up and pushes off of Lauren's chest to extend her small hand out to Camila. "I am Margaret Annalise Simmons,” she says politely. “But most’of everyone calls me Gary,” she says with a bright smile, all previous bashfulness seemingly forgotten.

 

"Wow, pretty name for a pretty girl," the brunette smiles back, taking the small girl's hand delicately in her own, her heart warming when the small girl shakes it eagerly. She releases the girl's hand and can't help but look back at Lauren, feeling vulnerable at the way the older girl is looking at her with a distinct tenderness in those green eyes she can never seem to get enough of.

 

They move onto one part of the play center, sitting on a mat that has the alphabet written in block letters on it, the small girl perched comfortably on Lauren’s lap as they face the brunette, who’s sitting crossed-legged in front of them, a set of building blocks in between them.

 

They talk for a few minutes, Camila watching Lauren interact with Gary more than anything and really, her heart shouldn’t be beating this fast at the sight. The brunette can’t help but stare. The way the dark-haired girl interacts with everyone - whether it’s their co-workers, or her mother, or Camila, or a young child battling cancer – the brunette can’t help but be in awe of the absolute compassion and tenderness that seamlessly flows out of the green-eyed girl.

 

Her green eyes are bright under the fluorescent lights and they twinkle with genuine interest and fondness as she listens to Gary ramble on and on about her stay at the hospital and how many friends she’s made – sometimes they’re nurses, sometimes they’re other patients, and other times, they’re stuffed animals or paintings she’s seen in the hallway. The brunette laughs lightly as she listens in on how Gary explains that everyone deserves friends, even the ones that are stuck inside the drawings on the walls.

 

The older girl’s laugh is light and carefree as she humors the small child and Camila feels herself falling. Even against every barrier she’s set around her heart. The dark-haired girl is easily dismantling her walls – in the way that she continues to fight, in the way that she cares endlessly for the brunette even after every hurtful thing she’s hurled at the older girl, but most importantly, in moments like this. When she’s doing nothing but showing how her heart is filled with kindness and love – baring it to anyone who might dare to take a chance on her and Camila can’t help but dream about being brave enough to be the one to take that chance.

 

Maybe in another world.

 

Lauren looks up to see the brunette staring at her and smiles at the way a small blush forms on the girl’s cheeks at being caught. She can see the ever-present worry in her favorite brown eyes and it makes her want to grab the girl by the shoulders and shake her and tell her that _it’ll be okay_. That whatever worries she has about them, she’s willing to work on all of it, as long as they work together. As long as they’re side by side, hand in hand.

 

It’s almost comical, if it wasn’t so tragic, how they seem to be pulling on the same weight, only in opposite directions. Camila is as scared of what _could_ be if she lets the other girl in as Lauren is as willing on making whatever _this_ thing they have, that’s so strong and palpable and electrifying, work.

 

Perhaps in another time (by another author), they would have made a great love story.

 

 

They’re snapped out of their staring contest when another child comes up to them and insists on dragging Camila to a separate part of the play area. The brunette follows without much protest after the dark-haired girl gives her an encouraging smile and once they’re alone, Gary turns to Lauren with a curious look. “Is Camila your girlfriend?”

 

Lauren falters for a moment, before smiling at the girl in her lap and running a finger over her furrowed brows. “No, she’s not.”

 

“Well, why not?” the girl tilts her head at the question, her eyes bright and inquisitive. “Don’t you like her? I think she’s pretty and she seems nice.”

 

“I most definitely like her,” the dark-haired girl says as she playfully bops the girl’s nose, causing the child to giggle and scrunch up her face.

 

"Well, I think she likes you back."

 

“I think she likes me too, buddy.”

 

“So what’s the problem?” the child sighs out dramatically as she brings both hands up in frustration.

 

The green-eyed girl laughs lightly at the girl’s antics. “I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out, okay?”

 

“M’okay,” the girl shrugs. “Grown-ups are weird.”

 

“We sure are,” the green-eyed girl says with a chuckle.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Camila finds herself in front of an electronic keyboard.

 

“Can you play? Alex tried to play but he’s not very good,” a blonde boy, who looks to be about five or six looks up at her with pleading, blue eyes after pointing to the boy next to him, who she assumes is “Alex.”

 

She sends them a nervous smile and asks for the boy’s name to buy herself some time. “And what’s your name, buddy?”

 

“Max!” he answers gleefully. “I’m four and three quarts.”

 

“Four and three quarts?” the brunette repeats with an amused smile. “That’s awesome! You’re almost five and a gallon!”

 

“Huh?” the small boy furrows his brows and gives her a confused look, making Camila laugh lightly.

 

“I think you mean, four and three quart _ers_ , buddy,” she says gently.

 

“Ohhh,” the child gives her a shy smile and the brunette ruffles his hair playfully. “But can you play now, Miss…”

 

“Camila.”

 

“Cameelaa,” the boy repeats happily, clapping his hands together when the girl smiles at him encouragingly.

 

“Um, I can try?” she says with a nervous smile.

 

“Yay!” At the boy’s exclaim, they gain the attention of nearby children and before long, they’ve gathered around Camila, sending her hopeful smiles as they wait eagerly.

 

Camila swallows hard and stares at the keyboard, her fingers hovering with a small tremble over the keys. She hadn’t played in a while. In fact, she hadn’t done much of the things she used to enjoy since the accident. She’s been too busy throwing herself into her work as a form of distraction that she’d neglected to do the things that made her happy. She can’t even remember the last time she’s seen her guitar.

 

She takes a shaky breath and is about to spew out some half-hearted excuse about how she doesn’t feel too well when she looks up and is met with a familiar pair of green eyes watching her and just like that, she can feel herself finding the strength to push through.

 

The girl is looking at her with the same warmth and tenderness she seems to reserve for no one else but Camila, and the brunette can physically feel her heart in her chest swell at how the girl seems to have such a powerful hold over her. It takes one look for Lauren to coax out a kind of quiet strength she didn’t think she had in her. One look is enough to get the brunette to trust in herself because if Lauren believes in her, why shouldn’t she believe in herself? Perhaps there’s something to be said about Lauren’s unyielding trust in her and so Camila tries. She pushes herself to be strong, even just for a moment.

 

She doesn’t know if it’s fair to depend as much as she does on the dark-haired girl, to continue to draw strength from someone she insists on pushing away. But the girl is a rare light in her otherwise dark life. So she takes what she can, selfishly so. She takes it in pieces and glimpses, relishes in it all before her time runs out and the green-eyed girl realizes she’s fighting a losing battle. She takes it in these moments, with Lauren looking at her like they hadn’t spent the last few months working around their feelings, when it feels like had they met in another time, they could have worked.

 

The brunette closes her eyes and takes one last calming breath before settling the pads of her fingers over the keys delicately, the muscles in her hands moving on their own accord as she glides them with practiced ease.

 

_You’re broken down and tired_

_Of living life on a merry go round_

_And you can’t find the fighter_

_But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out_

_And move mountains_

_We gonna walk it out_

_And move mountains_

She keeps her eyes closed, letting the music flow through her seamlessly and she misses the awed expressions of those around her. Lauren is looking at her with a mix of wonder and a pained look in her eyes, as if she could physically feel the grief that is present in the girl’s tone.

 

Her voice cracks at the beginning with the weight of her emotions, but she soon settles into a smooth rhythm, her voice raw and vulnerable, her tone teeming with the kind of force that holds you captive.

 

_And I’ll rise up_

_I’ll rise like the day_

_I’ll rise up_

_I’ll rise unafraid_

Lauren can’t seem to take her eyes off the girl. She’s torn between wanting to listen to the girl sing forever and hoping to never hear her sing with such pain ever again.

 

When the song finishes, Camila is brought out of the depths of her mind by the applause that surrounds her, the children gleefully clapping their hands and gathering around her, starting an impromptu group hug. She looks past the children and sees Lauren giving her one of her soft smiles, the kind that worms its way into Camila’s chest and ignites a familiar warmth even as she wipes a subtle tear from her cheeks.

 

 

\---

 

 

Camila isn’t ready to say goodbye when they get to the front of her building and although every part of her brain is telling her to send the other girl home, she does the exact opposite.

 

“Do you want to come up?” It comes out rushed and quietly, her heart beating out of her chest as she holds her breath while waiting for the girl to answer. Her eyes are on her fingers, which are fiddling with the strap of her purse. She feels the older girl’s eyes study her, her eyes intense as she looks at the side of the brunette’s face quietly.

 

Lauren thinks it’s probably best to drop Camila off and go. The constant push and pull between them -  although it’s exciting and it makes Lauren feel everything and nothing all at once, a constant reminder to her of what it feels to be truly alive – has also been a relentless source of pain for her. 

 

The girl had made it clear that she didn’t want to be with the green-eyed girl, but as she looks at the girl worrying her bottom lip, her brown eyes darting everywhere but hers, the dark-haired girl can’t help but think that she’d been right in thinking that the other girl wants this as much as she does. The girl is just scared. That much is clear. She’s terrified and Lauren wishes she could ease the girl’s worries, let her know that she fears the same things. That she’s scared of losing people, of hurting them, of making the wrong decisions. But that there’s something there, something between them that is undeniable and makes Lauren think that all of it will be worth it in the end.

 

She can’t help herself when she’d never been able to deny the brunette anything she’s wanted. She doesn’t know how to say no, her heart won’t let her. The green-eyed girl refuses to think about the inevitable heartbreak when the _yes_ falls out of her lips and the relieved look on the girl beside her is enough to let her know she’d made the right decision, at least for now.

 

 

 

They’re making small talk over tea as they sit across from one another at Camila’s breakfast table and Lauren doesn’t think it’s ever been this awkward between the two of them. She decides to break the silence with something that’s been on her mind for the last couple of hours.

 

“Thank you, by the way.”

 

The younger girl raises an eyebrow at the girl’s words and the dark-haired girl gives her a soft smile before clarifying. “For staying with me and dealing with all of – that,” she vaguely gestures in the air with her hands and cringes at her inability to form the right words.

 

"You would have done the same thing for me in a heartbeat. I don't doubt it for a second."

 

A beat of silence settles over them, the air heavy with everything they’re not saying.

 

“I didn’t know you could sing.”

 

The brunette looks up surprised, eyes wide and mouth open as if to say something before she looks down and swallows nervously. “I was raised by well-off parents. Playing musical instruments is some sort of rite of passage if you wanted to hang with the cool, rich kids,” she says as a way to downplay the whole thing.

 

The green-eyed girl doesn’t take the bait and the seriousness in her tone urges the other girl to look up and finally lock eyes with the girl in front of her. “You’re so unbelievably talented, Camila. It takes a special kind of strength and courage to let yourself be as vulnerable as you did earlier.” There’s unmistakable admiration in her tone and it slams against Camila’s chest, the girl’s words never failing to leave her speechless.

 

“Yeah, well,” the other girl shrugs meekly.

 

“Why do you do that?”

 

“Do what?” the brunette furrows her brows in confusion as she detects a hint of annoyance in the other girl’s voice.

 

“Like, put yourself down all the time,” she says frustrated as she stands to pace the floor, running a hand through her dark locks as she sighs and turns to look at the brunette.

 

Camila feels an irrational sense of anger bubble within her, feeling challenged at the girl’s words and feeling like all the emotions she’d tried hard to suppress in the past few months are catching up to her.

 

“Why do _you_ keep doing this, huh?” she throws back while gesturing between them.

 

“Wha-”

 

“You talk about me putting myself down. But what about you?” she asks with a crack in her voice. “Why do you insist on hurting yourself? On giving me chance after chance even after all the times I’ve hurt you?” She feels hot tears burning in the back of her eyes and she meets the girl’s eyes, a look of realization passing over her features at the girl’s words.

 

“Camz-”

 

“See?!” the brunette exclaims as she walks out of the kitchen and into the living room, the green-eyed girl hot on her heels. “ _That’s_ what I’m talking about. You can’t just – you can’t. You can’t say my name like that. With so much care and warmth and ugh,” she groans in frustration as she tries to regain some sort of control over her emotions. “I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, your patience,” she swallows hard as she tries to bite back a sob coming up her throat. “I don’t deserve _you._ ”

 

“Camila, listen-”

 

"Can't you be angry with me for once? Like, be truly angry! Yell at me, slap me if you want, just-"

 

Her words are cut off by soft lips descending on her own, Lauren’s hand immediately falling on her hips as she pulls the girl close, her lips moving softly and slowly around Camila’s – it’s sensual and tender and so fucking gentle – it’s everything Camila’s been trying hard to avoid.

 

It doesn’t take long for Camila to push back, her own hands flying to Lauren’s locks as she grips hard, kissing the girl back with bruising force, moving her body to be flushed against the other girl’s as Lauren’s back slams against the wall. The younger girl relishes in the surprised gasp that she elicits from the girl and doesn’t give her a chance to breathe as she leans in for another rough kiss, her teeth clamping down on the older girl’s bottom lip and swallowing the moans that fall from her lips.

 

They manage to separate long enough to blindly get in the bedroom and Camila doesn’t waste time once they’re inside, immediately pushing Lauren onto her back on the mattress, quickly removing her own shirt before straddling the girl and leaning down to kiss and nip and suck on the girl’s exposed neck, and the way that the dark-haired girl writhes underneath her, the way she trembles under the brunette’s touch – it fuels the fire that’s been quietly burning within Camila in the last few weeks that she hadn’t been able to _be_ with Lauren.

 

Just as she’s about to tear the other girl’s clothes off, she feels herself getting pushed onto her back, the older girl getting on top of her and leaning down to kiss her gently, moving her lips with such sensual precision that Camila forgets that she’s supposed to be getting lost in the lust of it all. When she brings her arms to wrap around the green-eyed girl’s neck, she feels the dark-haired girl’s fingers wrap around her wrists, pulling her hands away and pinning them on the bed beside her head.

 

She groans out her frustration when Lauren continues with her soft ministrations, the girl’s lips delicately moving against her own, her tongue carefully gliding along Camila’s and the brunette feels her resolve cracking. She tries once more, pushing back with as much force as the dark-haired girl allows her with her arms still pinned against the mattress.

 

“Lauren,” she groans out in frustration

 

She doesn’t want soft and gentle. She wants rough and lust-filled and meaningless sex. She wants to be fucked. Hard and fast and not _this_. This is slow and careful and almost _reverent_ and Camila can’t breathe. Lauren’s light touches, the care behind every soft kiss and gentle graze – it’s all a bit too much.

 

Camila feels Lauren pull back and she opens her eyes to be met with green eyes swimming with nothing but warmth and she feels herself give in to the girl, her arms falling pliant under the girl's touch as Lauren slides her hands up along her palms until she's intertwined their fingers, her light eyes still focused on hers.

 

The dark-haired girl then leaves a lingering a soft kiss on her forehead, another on her cheek, and continues to trail light kisses down her jaw until she reaches her ear, whispering sweet nothings into her skin, her breath warm and comforting against her.

 

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay,” she rasps softly against the brunette’s heated skin and Camila has to blink back the tears she can feel forming in her eyes.

 

Lauren moves down the column of her neck, being attentive to every part that her mouth can reach, leaving no inch unmarked as she continues to hold Camila down, her thumbs running softly along the girl’s knuckles while she feels the girl becoming more and more compliant, her body yielding to each of Lauren’s tender caresses.

 

She reaches a familiar spot on Camila's upper left chest, the raised skin along her collarbone is subtle but still noticeable enough and she doesn't hesitate to put her lips on it softly, the light touch sending sparks throughout the brunette's body and the girl finally breaks.

 

Camila can’t help but let out the soft sobs she’s been desperately holding in and Lauren moves to lie on her back, not hesitating to pull Camila into her, wrapping her arms protectively around the girl, while the brunette instinctively curls into the dark-haired girl, feeling vulnerable and open, but at the same time, protected and secure and _safe_.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she cries into Lauren’s chest and the dark-haired girl feels her heart breaking for the girl.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

 

For the first time in a while, Camila feels like she might actually believe the girl. A small wisp of hope buds in the center of her chest – the kind that’s silent but unyielding. It’s dangerous really, to feel this sense of hope in a world that has taken so much from Camila and yet here she is, finding herself giving into that precarious sign that happiness might still be in the cards of fate for her.

 

 

 

******

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n:
> 
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> 
> hope everyone is doing well and eating right
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>  
> 
> that last scene was originally outlined to be smut, but then I started writing it and the whole thing got super soft that I thought smut would be misplaced, so yeah. also, haven’t written smut in months, idk how it works anymore
> 
>  
> 
> anyhoo, I always wanna hear what you guys think of the chapter, so let me know
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to vote/comment/give feedback if you feel like it!
> 
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> 
> wattpad: jaureguicabello5eva
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
>  
> 
> It’s here! The full fic I’ve been talking about for a while. I have big plans for this fic and am really excited to share it with all of you.
> 
>  
> 
> Please let me know what you think so far.
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>  
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> As always, hope everyone has a great day/night and feel free to leave a vote/comment/feedback if you want.
> 
>  
> 
> -Maddox


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